


Chase The Sun Back To The West Coast

by TeamPreath



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crush at First Sight, Drama & Romance, Drinking to Cope, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, this fic is excruciatingly SLOW...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 88,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7032916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamPreath/pseuds/TeamPreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No longer updating this.<br/>I have no time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. East Coast Meets West Coast

Kelley is heading back to the East Coast to spend the majority of her summer with her dad. Her parents agreed to this setup after their divorce 5 years ago and after her first time to New Jersey, Kelley didn’t mind spending the summers there. She always looks forward to new adventures with her East Coast best friend but hates leaving Christen. The previous year they had planned to go to New Jersey together but Christen’s parents didn’t want her to spend the whole summer there and didn’t want her to travel back alone so Christen stayed in the West Coast that summer.

Christen was so close to going with Kelley again this year but after having a long conversation with her parents she decided to work through the summer and take a gap year to travel around Europe with her girlfriend Vero. Her part-time job during her senior year of high school paid well for a part-time job but without her partner in crime, she wouldn’t mind working more hours. Christen wanted to find something full time and after dropping off Kelley she was headed to a job interview.

“Alright Kelley, you can let go now.” Christen uttered against her best friend’s shoulder which now had two small wet spot from her tears. Kelley lets her arms fall down to her sides but Christen grips a fist full of Kelley’s shirt. She obviously didn’t want the hug to be over but she knew Kelley couldn’t miss her flight.

Kelley pats Christen’s back. “Chris, come on. I’ll be back before you know it,” she promises. “I’ll be back before my birthday this time.” Kelley lets Christen hold on a while longer but her phone beeps in her pocket. She had set a reminder because she knew saying goodbye to her best friend would be difficult.

Kelley wraps her arms around Christen one more time and hugs her tight. “Ok Christen now I really have to go.”

Christen loosens her grip and takes a step back, “Call me when you land ok.” She wipes her tears with the back of her hand.

“I always do,” Kelley hugs her one last time and gives her a peck on the check.

“Or FaceTime me. I already miss your stupid face and you’re not even gone yet.” Christen says as she begins to take Kelley’s luggage out of her dad’s car.

“I don’t know how to work that thing.” Kelley replies and closes the trunk.

Christen pats Kelley’s head, “You got into Stanford so I know you’re a smart cookie, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Kelley pulls out her phone, “Show me real quick.”

Christen takes Kelley’s phone and shows her how to facetime. “Or text me to facetime you and all you have to do is answer.”

“Nah, I think I got it.” Kelley shoves her phone into her purse, “Ok, I should go. I still need to get through the TSA check.”

“Have a good flight.” Christen says and her tears start up again.

Kelley drops her purse on the floor with her luggage and pulls Christen in for one last hug. “Good luck in your interview.”

*

Kelley calls Christen as soon as she land but gets her voicemail instead. 

“Hey, I just landed. I’m waiting to get my luggage. Call me when you can. Love you. Bye.”

Kelley grabs her luggage and heads to the exit. After 20 minutes of waiting she calls her dad but also gets his voicemail. “Dammit dad!” She leaves him a text and sends Tobin one too.

_KO: Back In NJ! Wanna hang out tonight?_

_TH: How about we hang out right now? Look to the left._

Kelley looks up from her phone and down the line of cars and taxis parked on the curb. She sees Tobin standing in front of a green Jeep waving both her arms above her head to get her attention.

Tobin jogs over to Kelley and hugs her. She lifts her up a little and puts her back on the ground. Tobin grabs Kelley’s luggage and begins walking back to her car.

“I’m so happy you’re here! Your dad had some emergency meeting this morning and I offered to pick you up because he was planning on getting you an Uber. He said he would be home by the time we got back though."

“I’m happy to be here too.” Kelley says as she opens the passenger door.

“I’m sorry I was late. The traffic was starting to get heavy halfway here.” Tobin says as she puts the luggage in the back then gets into the driver’s seat.

Kelley puts on her seat belt, “I was only waiting for like 20 minutes. So is this your sweet ride you’ve been telling me about?”

Tobin caresses the steering wheel. “Yeah. Isn’t she beautiful?” Tobin laughs at the odd look Kelley is giving her and turns on the car. “I’m actually planning on driving to the west coast at the end of the summer.”

“WHAT?” Kelley yells.

“I’ve been waiting for you to get here because I wanted to tell you this in person; I’m driving to California because I got a soccer scholarship to Stanford.” Tobin puts the car in drive and pulls away from the curb. A smile spreads across her face as Kelley jumps up and down in her seat until she smacks Tobin’s arm. “Ow! Damn Kel, calm down.”

“Sorry but … OH MY GOD!  Wait I thought you were choosing between UNC and Penn State?”

“Those scholarships... were on the table but Stanford made a better offer plus it has you. How could I pass up that opportunity?”

Kelley wraps her arm over Tobin and hugs her, “Tobin were finally going to be teammates!”

“Yup. You need to calm down though. I’m trying to drive and get us home safely.”

*

Christen leaves her door open while she waits in her hot car for the ac to blow out cool air. Beads of sweat already going down the sides of her face. She opens up her purse to take out a Kleenex so she can pat away the moisture. She didn’t want to ruin her perfect winged eyeliner. 

She takes her phone off airplane mode and a few notifications pop up on her screen. A few texts from Vero and a voicemail from Kelley. She responds to Vero and listens to the voicemail.

_CP: Sorry I didn’t answer your call. Just got out of an interview. I’ma be making coffee, getting people lunch and sitting at a desk for the rest of the summer. How was your flight?_

Christen closes her door and turns on the radio but lowers the volume when Kelley is trying to facetime her for the first time.

“There’s my gorgeous friend! I miss you so much already. Congrats on the job by the way.”

Kelley smiles at her but that is all Christen can really see.

“Thanks…Um Kelley as adorable as your double chin is, I would really like to actually see your whole face when we FaceTime. I probably should have showed you how to hold the phone too before you left.”

“Ha!” Tobin laughs at Kelley.

“Hold the phone up and a little farther away from your face.” Christen instructs Kelley.

Kelley sticks her tongue out at Christen and moves her hand farther away. She gives Christen a better view of her face and the car she is in.

“Is that better?” Kelley asks.

“Yup. How was your flight and how is the traffic? Is it worse than west coast traffic?” Christen asks as she takes off her high heels and grabs her flats she had on the passenger seat.

“Eh it’s about the same. It’s rush hour so it’s going to take us a while to get home.” Kelley turns the phone around to show Christen a bit of the traffic ahead of them.

Christen sighs, of course Kelley wouldn’t know how to flip to the other camera.

“Hey Mr. O’Hara you should have made her get a red-eye flight so you wouldn’t have to deal with the traffic.”

“Hey! If I had done that we wouldn’t have had that awesome sleepover last night. Also my dad didn’t pick me up, Tobin did.” Kelley turns her phone again to show Christen her driver. The setting sun causing a glare and Christen is only able see the outline of Tobin’s face. 

“Say hello Tobin.”

Tobin removes one hand from the steering wheel to wave at the phone and Kelley pokes her side.

“I said, say ‘Hello’ not wave.”

Tobin reluctantly turns her head and almost immediately her heart begins to race when she finally looks at the person on the screen. Tobin has seen pictures of Christen before, Kelley’s Instagram is full of their selfies but pictures don’t do her justice. Her eyes are mesmerizing and her smile is even better when it’s directed at you. Tobin becomes a little lost in Christen’s green eyes until Kelley snaps her fingers at her.

“Uh.. He- Hello Christen…” Tobin stutters. She blushes and is a little embarrassed that this girls has affected her this much. 

“Hi Tobin. Hopefully Kelley doesn’t complain all summer about missing me too much and annoy you. When she gets back she complains about missing you for a whole month! I try to restrain myself from just shoving a sock in her mouth just for a few quiet minutes.”

Tobin laughs. “If it’s the same as the last couple summers, I should be able to resist duct taping her mouth shut for at least the first week.”

The traffic starts moving so Kelley snaps her fingers at Tobin again and turns the phone back to herself, “Ok, I’m not that bad.”

Tobin gives her a look and replies, “You kinda are.”

“Yeah, Kelley you are.” Christen says.

“Well that’s what happens when you can’t have both you’re best friends- Wait I’m going to have you both in the same state soon! Oh my god! You guys, it’s going to be the first time my East Coast BFF meets my West Coast BFF.”

“This is actually the first time we talk too.” Christen says.

“Well then that is my mission this summer. I’m going to make you guys get to know each other more. We’re spending the last couple days of the summer together in Cali and I don’t want either of you to feel like a third wheel. I’ll call it operation East Coast/West Coast.”

“So I guess I’m West Coast.” Christen laughs.

“And I’m East Coast.” Tobin says. “Real original Kel.”

“Keep driving East Coast. I’m starving.” Kelley turns back to her phone. “West Coast, I’ll call you later. I’m going to ask my dad if he can pick up some pizza before he gets home.”

“Oh gosh, it’s going to stick. Fine Kelley, I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Bye Chris!” Kelley hangs up on Christen and sends her dad a text.

“So…” Tobin bites her lip. “What happens with operation East Coast/West Coast if she doesn’t like me?”

“It might seem that way in the beginning but just because Christen will be really shy at first. After she gets to know you I’m sure she will love you and open up more.” Kelley reassures Tobin. “Drive a little faster. My dad is already heading to the pizza place and I don’t want to eat barley warm pizza. You can invite your girl over too. I remember you saying she was going to visit you this whole summer. I wouldn't want to get between-"

"Can we just not talk about her right now?" Tobin wipes her hands on her shirt and puts them back on the steering wheel.

"Uh. Ok. No problem." Kelley says softly.

Tobin presses play on her iPod connected to the AUX cord and song starts playing.

 _I don't gotta hide, no, I don't got reason to lie_  
_I don't need your drama, I don't need you to survive_  
_You don't gotta say it cause I know that you don't like me_

 

* * *

 

Operation East Coast/West Coast: Successful

 

“So you’ve known Kelley since 2nd grade?” Tobin asks as she tries to get comfortable on the wooden bench. If she knew she would be facetiming with Christen for more than an hour she would have stayed on the couch with Kelley while she watched the High School Musical marathon.

Christen rolls onto her back in her bed as she answers, “Yeah. She shared her crayons with me and we became instant best friends.”

“When did both of you start playing soccer?”

“Well I started at 5 years old but Kelley started a bit later. Our moms tried to get a play-date scheduled but I had a soccer game that weekend and she begged her mom to take her to watch me play. Then she wanted to get on the field with me so badly that her mom decided to sign her up the next year. We’ve been playing on the same team since then. What about you?”

“Same, at 5 years-”

“Ok! I need my phone back.” Kelley says as she walks out onto the porch.

Christen sits up in bed and pouts, “But we are still talking. You’re the one that wanted us to get along.”

Kelley sits down with Tobin and angles the phone toward herself. 

Tobin finds it absolutely adorable when Christen’s bottom lip juts out a little and she gives Kelley the best puppy dog eyes she can muster.

“Yeah but Tobin has her own phone that she can use. I’ll send you her number right now.”

Tobin clears her throat. “Actually we should take a break my ass is already hurting from sitting on this bench. Plus I need to start packing and put some things in the garage at some point. My mom wants to turn my room into a guest room after I leave.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t leave everything to the last minute like SOMEONE we know. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” 

“Alright then. Bye East Coast.”

“Bye Christen.” 

“Come on, say it.You know you want to.” Christen teases.

Tobin laughs, “Ok. Bye West Coast.” Tobin hands Kelley back her phone and stands up, stretching her arms up and straightening her back..


	2. Pinky Promise

Christen checks the time and makes a quick calculation. Vero should be waking up about now. She grabs her laptop from her desk and goes back to bed. She leans against the headboard and crosses her ankles as she waits for Vero to answer her Skype call.

“..Hola mi amor,” Vero hesitates, eyes quickly shifting to the left as she runs a hand through her hair.

“Hey babe, did I wake you?” Christen says cheerfully, not noticing Vero’s initial surprise or the slightly higher pitch in her girlfriend’s voice.

Vero clears her throat. “No… I was just about to call you before my morning run.” Vero’s head whips to the side when a loud clank comes from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”

Christen opens her mouth to ask Vero if everything is ok but Vero sets the laptop on the bed and walks out of the room before she can speak. Christen steadies her breathing as she strains to hear something in the background. All Christen can hear is some muffled voices and some shuffling, nothing that really worries her. 

“Ok I’m back.” Vero says. “So how is the party planning?”

“What was that noise?” Christen asks.

“…Oh that..” Vero bites her lip.

“Yeah, that.” Christen says and purses her lips while she waits for an answer.

“Um I had a little party last night and a few people stayed over. They are currently going through my pantry and fridge looking for food. So how is the party planning? Did you find the perfect gift?” Vero says as she puts her messy hair up in a bun.

“It’s going great!” Christen beams. “I got the most perfect gift. Want to guess what it is?”

Vero breaths a sigh of relief and smiles at Christen’s ecstatic tone. “Do I get any clues?”

Christen puts her index finger on her chin and looks up pensively before answering, “We talked about it very briefly last week.”

“We talk about so many things throughout the day,” Vero points out, “You have to give me better clues.”

“Ok then…Um, it has to do with the song you sent me last week.”

Vero takes her phone out and scrolls through her texts to look for the song. She finds a link to a youtube video she had sent Christen and plays it. 

_I keep denying, begging for attention_   
_Dropping hints, hoping for some tension_   
_Getting tired of making all this racket_   
_Waiting on you to get your ass in gear_   
_I didn’t wanna be so invested_

Christen claps. “Yes, that song.”

“Stop Desire.. So this is my only clue?”

“Yes. Come on Vero. It's right there!”

“Tegan and Sara.” Vero stops and thinks a little more. “Oh my god! Did you get her tickets to see Tegan and Sara?”

“Yes I did, and that’s not all. I also got her back stage passes!” Christen says with a smirk on her face, “Aren’t I the best BFF ever?”

“Yeah, Kelley is a lucky girl. So when are you guys going?”

Christen lets her head hang down as she whines, “I’m not going. I got her two tickets but…” Christen looks up. “The only dates available fall between the time I’m going to be out of the country with you.” She smiles as she puts her hand up. “It’s ok though, Kelley gets to meet her favorite duo but I get to spend almost a whole year with my favorite girl.” 

“It COULD be a whole year, I told you I would cover the cost of your expenses. I was the one that suggested you come visit me.”

“No, it would be too expensive. You can help me out if I run low on funds but that’s it. Plus I know I look like a trophy wife that wants to be kept but I work hard for my money,” Christen says as she flips her hair and laughs.

“I hate to do this to you Amor but I need to get ready for my run. Gotta stick to my schedule.” Vero says and looks off to the side again.

“I know.” Christen says a bit dejected.

“Hey, smile for me one more time.”

Christen smiles at Vero.

“I got a little surprise for you when you get here. Hopefully me telling you that wont jinx it. I’m still waiting to hear back from some people but when I do I’ll tell you what it is.”

“Don’t tease, you know I hate waiting for surprises. Go for your run and call me later.”

“Te quiero.”

“I love you too.”

*

Kelley walks out onto her front porch, hands Tobin a blue popsicle and sits next to her on the bench. They had just finished packing most of Tobin’s things into her Jeep for her move out west. Kelley didn't have many things to pack since she only brought one suitcase for her short stay with her  dad. She was beyond excited he let her cancel her return flight when she told him she wanted to roadtrip with Tobin instead

“Thanks,” Tobin takes the wrapper off and bites into the popsicle.

“Weirdo,” Kelley jokes as she pokes Tobin’s thigh.

Tobin sticks her tongue out, “You’re just jealous my teeth aren’t as sensitive as yours, and you can’t do this.” She takes another bite, larger than the first one and she immediately regrets it. She shuts her eyes and shakes her head, her hand covers her mouth and she thinks about spitting it out.

“Got a brain freeze? That’s what you get for trying to show off.” Kelley laughs.

Tobin goes to respond but her mouth is so cold it’s numb so she drools blue down her chin and onto white tank top. It makes Kelley laugh harder and clutch her stomach with one hand while her popsicle begins to melt on the other.

They finish their popsicles and head back inside to wash the sugary mess from their hands.

“So have you talked to your West Coast BFF yet?” Tobin asks. She has not had enough free time to talk to Christen and when she did Christen was busy. Tobin was starting to miss talking to her even though it was sometimes difficult for her to not be too flirty with Kelley’s friend.

“Does she know you canceled your flight?” Tobin asks as she dries her hands on a kitchen towel then throws it at Kelley to dry hers.

“Uh, no. I did talk to her last night but I completely forgot to tell her. She did complain about not having time to talk to you since you like going to bed early.” Kelly set the towel on the counter and crosses her arms.

“It’s not that I like going to bed early. I had to for work. I need my eight hours of sleep. I gave my two weeks notice a while ago. Tomorrow is my last day.”

“Great. Then you can sit here with me while I give her the news so you can be a buffer in case she gets mad. I’ll facetime her, I’m getting better at it.”

“Yeah it only took you a whole summer to get the hang of it.” Tobin chuckles as they head to the couch in the living room and Kelley waits for Christen to answer.

“Hey Kel!”

Kelley stretches out her hand to get Tobin on screen, “Tobin is here too.”

Tobin tries to scoot away from Kelley as she waves at the phone trying to hide her obviously flushed face. At some point, during the summer and their long conversations, Tobin had developed a bit of a crush but she was trying to act cool and not make it so obvious.

“Hi Christen.”

Christen smiles as she notices Tobin’s pink cheeks, “Hi Tobin.”

“So I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want first?” Kelley mumbles.

“What? Kelley speak up.”

“I said I have good and bad news for you, which do you want first?”

“Good? I guess.” Christen shrugs.

“Ok. The good news is I’m heading back to the west coast a couple days early.” Kelley says then begins biting her lip nervously.

“Oh that’s great, I’ve been missing you like crazy these past couple of days. So, what’s the bad news?” Christen is now a little concerned.

Christen gasps, “Has Tobin replaced me as your number one BFF? Tobin, what did you bribe her with?” Christen giggles. “I’m just kidding.”

“For the record, I wouldn’t have to bribe her. I’m an amazing friend," Tobin moves closer to Kelley so she isn't out of frame anymore and smiles at Christen, “See this face, it just screams fun.”

Christen gives them her best smile and points at her face, “So does this face.”

Tobin’s heart starts beating fast and her hands get clammy. She wipes them on her tank top as she gets up, “I’ma get some water, you want anything from the kitchen?”

“No thanks but listen here girls. This isn't a competition. There is enough of me to go around. Now back to the point of this call.”

“Right, so what’s the bad news?”

“I might be a little late to the party…” Kelley waits for Christen to respond, a little on edge.

“Wait, how is that possible? You just told me you’re coming home early.”

Kelley sighs. “Well I’m heading back early but I’m going back with Tobin. I told you she was planning on driving back to California. I decided to tag along.”

Tobin reenters the room with a water bottle and her heart rate back to normal. She drops down next to Kelley to talk to Christen again. “Don’t worry Christen. I don’t want her to miss a second of her birthday party either so we are sticking to a strict schedule. We limited our sightseeing along the way I was already planning on skipping it all together and only stopping for food, fuel, and sleep but now that Kelley is going she convinced me to check some out.”

“Around what time do you guys plan on getting here then?” Christen asks, wondering if she will need to push back the party a couple hours just in case.

“If we stick to the schedule and the traffic isn’t a problem, sometime around noon the day of the party.” Tobin responds as she checks the schedule on her phone.

“I’ll call you when we get to California. I’ll even give you status updates every two hours if you want. Don’t stress about it too much Chris.” Kelley reassures her when she sees Christen look down. Probably at her hand while she plays with the ring Vero had given her after their first major fight. It was a habit Kelley had pointed out to her after Christen kept dropping the ring in class before any test.

Tobin takes the phone from Kelley and puts her right hand on her chest, over her heart. “Christen, I will get Kelley back to you on time and in one piece. I promise. OK?”

Christen holds her hand up to the camera and sticks up her pinky. “Pinky promise?”

Tobin smiles and does the same. “Pinky promise.”


	3. Welcome To The West Coast

It’s almost midnight when Tobin decides to pull up to the first rest stop she sees in California. She considers waking up Kelley to tell her they finally made it but it’s officially her birthday and Tobin doesn’t want her dozing off at the party so she lets her sleep. Tobin tries to get comfortable enough to take a nap when Kelley’s phone starts ringing.

Christen’s name pops up on the screen and Tobin looks over at Kelley who is now lightly snoring. She turns on the light in the car. Kelley places her arm over her eyes and continues to snore.

Tobin knows Kelley won’t mind her answering her phone but she still takes a deep breath to calm herself before answering. She tells herself she is only answering the call to let Christen know they made it to California. Just to reassure her that they would arrive to the party on time, maybe even ahead of schedule. She doesn’t want to admit to herself that she is answering because she has been eager to talk to Christen again after a couple days of mostly driving. Maybe it has nothing to do with her tiny crush on Christen. A crush that just sprung up when she saw her smile on facetime and grew as they started talking more through out the summer. Tobin had already talked herself out of telling Christen about it until she could get a better read on her in person. She didn’t want to make their new friendship awkward if Christen didn’t feel that same pull Tobin feels every time they talk.

Tobin swipes at the screen to answer and Christen is holding up a small cupcake with a lit candle. She has on some type of face mask and it confuses Tobin briefly.

“Hey Chris.”

“Happy Birthd-”

They speak at the same time but Christen stops mid sentence when she notices the person who answered isn't Kelley. Only Kelley and Vero have seen her with a facemask on and she quickly covers the camera out of embarrassment.

“Fuck,” Christen says under her breath.

“Um, hello? Christen? Did you cover the camera?” Tobin asks since she can still hear Christen breathing but the screen has gone completely black.

Christen clears her throat. “Where’s Kelley?”

“She’s asleep. See.” Tobin switches to the other camera and points it at Kelley in the passenger seat the flips it back. “All in one piece, like I promised. She just fell asleep a while ago and I didn’t want to wake her up. I just wanted to let you know we finally made it to California.”

“That’s great! I just wanted to wish Kelley a happy birthday. I thought she would have stayed up to keep you company.” Christen says as she wonders whether she should wash her face before continuing this conversation.

“She tried to stay up but I told her to take a nap at least. I wouldn't want her to be too exhausted for her party.” Tobin looks at the black screen and sees herself in the phone’s reflection. “So are you just going to keep your hand on the camera lens? I mean this is facetime and I am not looking at a face.”

“Yeah, I have on a face mask. I wouldn’t want to scare you with this monstrosity.” Christen laughs nervously.

“That’s actually impossible, I don’t think your gorgeous face could ever scare me…I mean I’ve been driving for at least 5 hours straight and I'm sure I look way more scarier than you do at the moment.”

Christen removes her hand from the lens and pushes her loose hairs behind her ear as she replies, “No, you look fine. Just a little tired.”

Tobin smiles as Christen bites her lip, obviously a little nervous letting Tobin see her like that. “See, I didn’t scream. Not scary. Besides it’s just a face mask. I’ve never used one, what exactly does it do?”

“Well I only use it for emergencies, like when I stress and breakout all over my face. This face mask makes it all better by morning.” Christen says, “Um do you mind if I just wash it off real quick? I think I’ve had it on long enough for it to do it’s magic.”

“Yeah sure, go ahead. I can wait.”

“I'll be back in a bit.” Christen says as she gets off her bed and sets her phone down on the desk on her way to the bathroom.

Tobin is so close to nodding off when she hears noise from the phone and she sits up. Christen picks up her phone and walks back to her bed. Tobin doesn’t say anything, she is just in awe of how beautiful Christen is. Christen, bare faced with no trace of make-up might just be her most favorite. Tobin’s heart starts beating faster as Christen smiles at her.

“Ok. I’m back, fresh and clean. What were we talking about?”

“You stressing. Is it because of the party?”

“Yeah. I was honestly a little worried you wouldn't be here on time.” Christen admits as she goes through her to-do list for tomorrow one more time to make sure she isn’t forgetting anything.

“You have so little faith in me. Chris, I promised I would get Kelley here on time. I pinky promised. We actually skipped one of the stops I wanted to make.” Tobin says, knowing well that the reason she didn't mind skipping Vegas was because she didn't want to disappoint Christen.

“Where did you want to stop?”

“Vegas. I turned 18 a couple months ago. I wanted to try my luck on one of those slot machines but Kelley wasn’t 18 yet when we passes by. It wouldn't have been fun doing it alone.” Tobin yawns which then makes Christen yawn too. “Are you tired?”

“Are you? You yawned first." Christen points out.

“I also asked first. So are you tired?”

“Not really. I took a nap during the day so I could stay up a little later today to wish Kelley a happy birthday at midnight.” Christen looks off to the side, at her laptop on the desk. “I was actually in the middle of a skype call with my girlfriend. She was keeping me company while I waited.”

“Oh.” Is all Tobin manages to say. The smile she had at the beginning of the call falters a bit. She didn’t know Christen was in a relationship. She thinks back to the night she spent  scrolling through Christen’s Instagram and had not seen any signs of a boyfriend or girlfriend in any pictures from the last year. She did however find a picture of Christen and some other friends at a pride parade which made her think she might have a chance someday.

“I should probably get back to her, and let you get some rest. you must still have a long drive ahead of you if you just made it to California a while ago.” Christen senses Tobin’s demeanor shift but just assumes that she is exhausted from the drive. She doesn't for a moment consider that Tobin's change is because she mentioned Vero.

“Yeah, I just crossed the state line and began looking for a rest stop so I can take a nap. I’ll tell Kelley you called when she wakes up.” Tobin says as she yawns again, this time a little longer. Finally feeling the pull of sleep once again since before Christen’s call.

“Thanks. Good night Tobin.”

“Good night Christen.”

“Wait Tobin… Welcome to the West Coast.”

Tobin’s smile returns. “Thanks Christen.”

Tobin hangs up, puts Kelley’s phone back and turns off the light in the car. She is sleepy but can’t seem to get comfortable and make her brain stop thinking. She should have known a girl as pretty and lovely as Christen would be in a relationship. She should have never let this crush get this out of hand. Sure it was just a tiny crush at the moment but the rate at which it happened has Tobin a little scared. Is there no going back to just seeing Christen as Kelley’s cute best friend? She was tentatively eager to find out how these next couple of weeks will affect their developing friendship.

*

Tobin wakes up 4 hours later with her neck a little stiff. She looks to the side and Kelley is still sleeping. Tobin pulls out her phone and does a quick google search for a diner. She finds one 15 minutes away and wakes up Kelley as soon as she parks the car.

“Hey Kel, wake up. I wanna get some breakfast.” Tobin lightly shakes Kelley awake.

“Hmm?” Kelley opens her eyes.” Where are we?”

“Some truck stop diner. I want coffee and some bacon. Come on. Put your shoes on. Lets go.”

Tobin and Kelley sit at the counter and wait for their food while sipping hot coffee. Kelley looks through her phone.

“Did Christen call me last night?” Kelley asks as she scrolls through her messages.

“Oh, Yeah. She wanted to wish you a happy birthday. You were knocked out cold, snoring and even drooling a little,” Tobin chuckles. “I didn’t want to wake you. Hope you don’t mind, I answered just to tell her we were finally in California and ahead of schedule.”

Kelley looks around and back at her phone, “Holy shit! We’re here already? When did that happen?”

Tobin laughs, “Last night when you were asleep. I didn’t want to take a nap until we were in California because i wanted to witness this,” Tobin points to the big window to their left. The sun was starting to rise over the mountains. “My first West Coast sunrise. I want to see the sun rise and set all in one day. Look at those beautiful colors.” Tobin says in awe. “The most beautiful shades of orange I’ve ever seen.”

“Let me be the first one to welcome you to the West Coast, Tobin.” Kelley wraps her arm around Tobin and gives her a little side hug.

“Second. You’re the second person to welcome me to California.” Tobin smiles as she remembers her conversation with Christen hours before.


	4. Isn't The West Coast Beautiful

Christen puts the last finished touches on her hair before wrapping the towel a bit tighter and walking out of the bathroom to pick out her outfit.

“Honey I’m home!” Kelley jumps up from Christen’s bed where she was waiting. “I let myself in.”

“Kelley!” Christen walks to her as Kelley stretches out her arms to give Christen a bone-crushing bear hug.

“I’ve missed you so much Chris, I mean Tobin is great but- and don’t tell her this, you’re definitely my numero uno.” Kelley gives Christen one more squeeze and sits back down on the bed.

Christen looks around her room, expecting Tobin to also jump out. “Where is Tobin? She’s coming to the party, right?”

“Hellooo. Your favorite person in the WHOLE world, well in the continent I guess, Vero has Europe covered.” Kelley corrects herself. “Your favorite person in North America is here and you have the audacity to ask me about Tobin?” Kelley jokes. Acting offended as she crosses her arms and turns her back to Christen.

“I'm kidding,” Kelley turns around and adds, “…only a little.”

Christen opens her closet to pull out her black two piece bathing suit and some jean shorts.

“Tobin is back at my place, taking a well deserved nap. She woke up early in the morning to drive the rest of the way. Said she had a pinky promise to keep.”

Christen smiles at the mention of their pinky promise. She turns to show Kelley a white tank top and a purple crop top. “White or purple?”

“Hold’em up a little higher.”

Christen holds them up and waits for Kelley’s input.

“If we are having a wet t-shirt contest then the tank-” Christen shuts up Kelley by throwing the tank top at her face. 

“We are not having a wet t-shirt contest Kelley. I need to change. Go downstairs, help Ali and Ash set up when they get here.”

Kelley pouts. “But it’s my birthday. I shouldn’t have to lift a finger today.”

“Come on Kel. All you really have to do is set up some tables and chairs. Ali and Ash are dropping by after my parents leave. Ash is bringing a few cases of beer and Ali stole two half empty bottles of vodka from her dad’s place.

A high pitch whistle interrupts them and Christen grabs her phone from the desk. She sends Ali a quick text to tell her to hold off on bringing in the beer.

“That must be Ash. Go let them in while I change. You guys can start with the tables.” Christen pulls out some red and black plastic table cloth and other party supplies from deep within her closet. “Here. The tables and chairs are in the garage. I’ll be down in a bit.”

Christen sends Kelley away and quickly changes. She pulls out the small helium tank from her closet and heads down stairs. She leaves the tank on the kitchen counter then heads to the backyard to grab the balloons and colorful paper streamers.

“Hey Ali. Hey Ash.” Christen waves at them as she slides the glass door open.

Ashlyn sets down some chairs and waves back. Ali winks at Ashlyn and skips over to Christen, leaving Ashlyn with more chairs to carry on her own.

“Hey Chris, so I hear Kelley brought home a girl from New Jersey. I only texted Kelley a handful of times this summer so I’ma need the 4-1-1 on this new girl. Have you met her yet?”

Christen laughs. “What? Where did you hear that from?” 

“Kelley just told us. She said she brought a girl with her from Jersey and that she couldn’t wait for us to meet her tonight.”

Christen shakes her head and brings a hand up to cover her face. “Oh my god.” 

Christen takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes. “Kelley your phrasing is making people thing you found yourself a girlfriend in New Jersey and brought her here.” She yells out as Kelley and Ash bring out the last of the tables and chairs.

“Well it’s true. She is a girl, she is my friend, and she is from New Jersey.” Kelley smirks.

“Ash, smack her for me.”

Ashlyn nods and lightly smacks Kelley’s head

“Ow!” Kelley yells out.

“What?” Ashlyn shrugs. “Chris said to. Her house, her rules.”

“Thanks Ash.” Christen turns back to Ali to explain. “Kelley’s New Jersey friend also got accepted to Stanford. She drove here and Kelley decided to road trip with her instead of flying back. They got here last night- well, Tobin said they crossed the state line around midnight but I don’t know what time they got to town.”

“Oh, Ok. That makes more sense. Did you meet this new girl already?”

“Sort of.”

Ali gives Christen a look so she clarifies, “I taught Kelley how to use FaceTime because sometimes talking on the phone just isn’t enough. She introduced me and Tobin on FaceTime. The first few times I talked to her was on Kelley’s phone until Kelley asked for her phone back when we were in the middle of a long conversation.” Christen covers her mouth and lowers her voice, “You know how when you click with someone that time just flies by when you talk to them? Well Tobin and I were like that and I think Kelley got a little jealous we were talking more often than me and her. She did get over it pretty quick though because she gave me Tobin’s number so she could have her phone back-”

“Hey, are you guys going to gossip about my East Coast BFF all day or help us finish setting up for the party?” Kelley shouts as she struggles to open one of the folding chairs. “I still have to go home and get ready myself.”

“East Coast?” Ali repeats.

Christen rolls her eyes at Kelley again and turns back to Ali. “Oh yeah, that. She started calling me her West Coast BFF and Tobin her East Coast BFF. Which is even more dumb now that we are both in the same coast. She’ll get over it eventually but it is kind of fun to joke with Tobin about it.” Christen grabs Ali’s arms and pulls her toward the table with the party decorations. “Let the fix the backyard. You can help me with the balloons and streamers inside.”

*

Tobin flips onto her back and opens her eyes as she struggles with the blankets as she sits up. Still a little groggy, “What time is it?”

Kelley sits in front of her vanity putting her hair up in a bun. “It’s almost 2,” She turns around and Tobin falls back onto the bed. “Get up if you want to shower before we leave.”

“It’s your party, they won’t mind if you arrive late.” Tobin says as she rolls around in bed. She’s never been so nervous about meeting someone before but she has also never tried so hard to keep herself from crushing on someone. She wonders if she can fake a stomach ache to just skip the party all together.

Kelley stands up and grabs the blanket to pull it off. “Yeah, it’s my party and I want your ass out of bed and in the shower in 5 minutes.”

Tobin groans and covers her head with the pillow. She knows she should just get over it and meet Christen and the rest of Kelley’s friend but staying in bed seems like a safer option so she doesn’t do or say something that will ruin her friendship with Christen.

“Come on Tobin, you promised Christen you would get me back to her on time and in one piece.”

Kelley’s voice sounds distant to Tobin as she grips the pillow tighter. She throws the pillow at Kelley because she knows Kelley is right. She did make Christen a promise. She knows she is being a bit childish right now but she only wants to give herself a few more minutes to prepare herself to meet Christen. She doesn’t want to fuck it up. “I did. I got you here early. Give me the address and I’ll meet you there. Take my car. I’ll get an Uber.”

“Christen asked for you when I got there so you have to go. It’s my birthday and I really don’t want to deal with her wrath because I didn’t wait for you. You have 30 mins to get ready. I’ll wait for you downstairs and if I don’t hear the water running in 5 minutes I’m bringing a bucket of ice cold water. ”

Tobin finally rolls out of bed and sighs, “Can I have a towel?”

*

“Aren’t you going to knock?” Tobin asks as Kelley turns the door knob.

“Nope. I practically live here. I do the same thing when I visit you. Well, not the first couple summers but after a while I did. Your mom didn’t seem to mind.” Kelley says as she walks in first.

Tobin looks around the house, it’s covered in black and red streamers with a couple balloons leading the way toward the back of the house. She stops as soon as her eyes land on a picture on the wall of a much younger and smaller Christen in a soccer uniform, holding up a trophy, smiling from ear to ear.

“So where is the hostess?” Tobin asks as they walk through the house, heading for the backyard where the music is already blaring and causing the windows to vibrate from the bass.

“She said she had to go pick up the birthday cake and the pizza. Come on.” Kelley grabs Tobin’s arm and pulls her toward the glass sliding door to the backyard. “Ali and Ash just spotted us. I guess I can introduce you to them first.”

Ali takes the lollipop out of her mouth.“Happy birthday Kel!” she exclaims as she hugs Kelley.

“Thanks Al.” Kelley steps away and rests her arm on Tobin’s shoulder. “This is the Jersey girl I told you about. Tobin, this is Ali and Ash.”

“Nice to meet you guys.”

“So you’re the one that is going to keep this one out of trouble until Christen gets back? Good luck.” Ali sticks her tongue out, already stained blue from the lollipop, and licks the lollipop before continuing. “She was kind of a handful that one weekend when Vero took Christen to Disneyland. Chris left me AND Ash in charge and it took both of us to keep her from getting her ass handed to her by a jealous girl at the beach. She thought Kelley was flirting with her boyfriend but we were just playing volleyball with the dude and his friends.”

“I’ve managed to keep her out of trouble in Jersey but we’d spend most of the time in my backyard playing soccer with my friends. She did almost get her ass whooped by my friend Lauren last summer though."

"IT WAS A FOUL!" Kelley exclaims.

"No it wasn't, she got her foot on the ball before you." Tobin turns back to Ali and Ash. " You know she gets a little heated sometimes, I might have to ask you guys to help me reel her back in."

“Ask Kling, JJ or Alex to help you with that, they’re going to Stanford with you guys. Me and Ali are headed to Penn State in a couple weeks.” Ashlyn grabs Ali by the waist and pulls her closer.

“Dude, you guys should check out this Colombian coffee shop like a block away from the Schreyer building. The coffee is stronger than anything you can get at a Starbucks and their chicken empanadas are really-”

“Were you planning on going to Penn State before you decided on Stanford?” Ali asks.

“Uh, I entertained the idea up until senior year. I visited my…friend a couple times her freshman year but I felt like Stanford was a better choice for me in the end.” Tobin’s palms begin to sweat and she wipes them on her boardshorts. “So what is there to drink?”

Ashlyn begins listing the drinks, “Soda, beer-” 

“Anything a little stronger?” Tobin interrupts.

Ali nods, “But Kling used all the vodka to make jello shots.”

“We’re gona go find Kling and those jello shots. I’ll talk to you guys later.” Kelley grabs Tobin’s arm and walks her toward an empty table. “Sit. Are you ok?”

Tobin pulls the chair out and slouches on the chair. “Yeah, I’m good…why?”

Kelley gives her a look. “Remember what you told me a couple weeks ago?”

Tobin sits up. “It’s been almost a year, Kelley. I’m over it. I’m fine.”

“Ok. Stay here. I’ll go find Kling and bring you some jello shots.” Kelley turns around to walk away but stops well Tobin calls out again.

“Actually just bring me a beer.”

Kelley gives her a thumbs up.“Ok. Beer for you and jello shots for me.”

Tobin waits a few minutes for Kelley to return with the beer. Kelley walks up to Tobin with a few of the girls she bumped into while getting her drinks. Tobin is polite and talks to them and answers all their questions but she isn’t particularly interested in the conversation. She scans the small groups throughout the yard, looking for curls or green eyes. She finishes her second beer and begins peeling the label when a short haired girl approaches her a second time with a large tray of jello shots.

“Kelley left you out here alone? Do you want another beer or some jello shots?”

“No-” Tobin hears a familiar voice call out over the music.

 “FOOD IS HERE!” 

She shifts her chair as she sees people make their way toward the table the pizza boxes are being set on and tries to hide to buy herself a few more minutes to get ready to meet Christen. She looks at the tray then up a the girl in front of her. “Would it be tacky if I asked you to leave the whole tray here?”

The girl laughs, “No. Everyone has already tried them and said they’re too strong.” She hands Tobin one. “Try it.”

Tobin tries it. The girl is right but Tobin doesn’t mind. She is feeling really nervous and needs a little liquid courage. “You’re Kling, right?”

“Yeah. Meghan Klingenberg but everyone calls me Kling. So do you want me to leave the whole tray or just like half?”

Tobin cleans up the small mess she made with beer labels and sets the two glass bottles off to the side. “Well if no one else wants them, I can try to finish them.”

“It would suck to let the vodka go to waste.” Kling sets the tray down and looks back at the crowd surrounding one table. “Are you going to get some food?”

Tobin takes another jello shot before answering, “In a bit.”

She watches as Kling make the short walk to the group and quickly finishes off 4 more jello shots. Once she finishes her 7th shot and begins to feel the effects of the liquor, she notices Christen walk toward her with two plates of pizza and a beer under her arm. She is mesmerized as Christen’s curls bounce when she kicks the beach ball out of her way. Christen sets down a plate in front of Tobin and sets hers down across the table. Tobin waits for Christen to say something and after a few seconds she clears her throat.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. So what are you doing at this table all by yourself? Besides trying to go through this whole tray of strong jello shots.” Christen asks then takes a bite of her pizza.

“Your BFF went off to play beer pong with…um, the girl with the shark snapback. I forgot her name.” Tobin gathers all the empty shot cups and stacks them next to the two empty beer bottles.

Christen grabs a napkin from the middle of the table and wipes her hands and mouth. “Ashlyn. Kelley is never going to beat her but she always tries.” Christen grabs her beer and tries to open it. “Damn, I was hoping it was a twist off.” Christen pushes her chair back. “I’ll be back.”

Tobin pulls out her keys and shows Christen the bottle opener key chain. “Give it to me.” She takes the bottle from Christen and opens it then slides it back to her.

“Thanks East Coast.” Christen smiles at her, takes a small drink and starts peeling the label.

“You’re welcome West Coast.” Tobin sits back in her chair and stares at Christen. Her perfect winged eyeliner, long eyelashes, green eyes staring back at her, long curly hair swept to one side, all these things making her even more irresistible to Tobin.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Christen grabs her napkin and wipes her mouth again.

“No. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s eyes with that shade of green. It’s really pretty.” Tobin takes another jello shot from the tray and shoves it in her mouth before she nervously says something more stupid, like how gorgeous she thinks Christen is.

“They change all the time it just depends on what I’m wearing and the lighting.” Christen pauses and looks down at her purple top.” Fuck it. I’ve got a bathing suit on and you’ve seen me with a facemask on already. Watch this.” Christen pulls her shirt off and leans closer to Tobin who is a little shocked. “What color do they look now?”

Tobin tries to refrain from staring at Christen body and focuses on her eyes. “They look a little more brown, like a very green hazel color.”

Christen puts her shirt back on and takes another bite of her pizza. She points at Tobin’s plate. “Are you hungry? You haven’t touched your pizza. Do you not like pepperoni? We have cheese, pineapple, and vegetarian pizza. I can get you something else.”

“No. No it’s fine. I’m just not sure anything will compare to east coast pizza.” Tobin says then takes a small bite.

“Really, you want to start the east coast/west coast debates now. You know, in the 90′s people died because of this.” Christen teases.

“It’s not much of a debate when east coast pizza could whoop west coast pizza’s butt any day.” Tobin takes off a pepperoni from her slice and throws it in her mouth.

Christen knows that pizza from a chain restaurant can’t beat east coast pizza so she changes the subject to the thing that west coast does better. “The west coast has the best tacos though.”

“I’ve only been here like half a day and the only amazing thing I’ve experienced here was the sunrise this morning. The view of the sun rising from the east, peaking over the mountains is absolutely beautiful and I’m sure the sunset will be even better.” Tobin grabs another shot, wishing she grabbed another beer before Christen arrived.

“Are complimenting the west coast?”

“The actual coast not you, although you look really… nice too.” Tobin looks into Christen eyes and is thankful she didn’t say hot or sexy or something worse.

Christen bites her bottom lip. “Just nice?”

Tobin gets struck with guilt from Christen’s flirty tone, or what she thinks is a flirty tone. Either way, she decided to talk about something other than how beautiful she finds west coast things to be. “Hey, did I tell you Kelley almost brought a squirrel home?”

Christen laughs. “What?”

Tobin smiles. “We stopped at a national park.” She takes her phone out and slides it to Christen. “I took a few pictures. She started feeding it Doritos to lure it and after a while it started eating out of her hand.”

“She’s crazy.” Christen laughs as she swipes through the pictures.

“A little. I did have to drag her back to the car before one of the park rangers caught her with a small group of squirrels that following her on the trail.” Tobin laughs. “She’s like Snow White with that weird chesmestry she has with wild aninals.”

Christen gives Tobin her phone back when Julie sits down next to her.

“Kelley is already asking to go to the beach so should we start heading out or…” Julie trails off.

Christen sighs. “Tell her to chill for 30 mins. We’re not even done eating.”

“Ok. I’ll tell her.”

Christen turns back to Tobin once Julie leaves, “Hurry up and eat your pizza because I don;t think Kel will actually wait 30 mins.”

Tobin takes a few bites of her pizza and almost chokes as she tries to eat quickly. Christen slides her beer over to her.

Kelley approaches their table and stands behind Christen “Man you guys eat slow! The rest of us are going to the beach already. You guys can just meet us there.” She pats Christen’s shoulder.

“Sure. It’s your birthday, you do whatever you want.” Christen looks up at Kelley. “Do you want us to take anything?”

Kelley looks at the girls carrying the blankets and beach ball. “Bring the cooler with the cans of soda with you.”

Christen nods. “Ok. We’ll see you guys in a bit then.”

They finish their pizzas and Christen asks Tobin to walk around the yard to make sure no one left any trash on the ground. Christen disapears into the garage while Tobin walks around and picks up a few napkins the wind blew onto the ground, a couple empty jello shot cups, and some beer bottles. Christen walks back out as Tobin throws the trash away. Two dogs come running from behind her and go straight to Tobin. The force of both of them jumping on her knocks Tobin back onto the soft grass.

Christen jogs over to her. “Shit. I’m so sorry. They just get really excited around new people. Morena come on, you know better.” Christen bends down and pulls Morena away from a giggling Tobin.

“It’s ok. I love dogs.” Tobin says as she rolls in the grass with the smaller dog. “Whats her name?”

“The one currently trying to lick your face is Khaleesi and this one is Morena.” Christen lets Morena go and the dog slowly approaches Tobin again.

Tobin sits up. “Hi Khaleesi. Hi Morena.” She says as Khaleesi settles down on her lap.

“Morena listens to me when she wants to but she listens to every comamnd from my dad which make me think she sees him as the alpha and me like the alpha jr or something. He’s still trying to train Khaleesi that’s why she’s a little more wild.”

Tobin grabs Khaleesi and stands up. “Are we taking these beauties with us to the beach?”

Christen laughs and pulls her phone out. “Hold on. Stay there and smile.” She brings her phone up and takes a quick picture of Tobin. She shoves her phone back in her pocket and reaches up to touch Tobin’s hair. She pulls a piece of grass from it to show Tobin. “You’re hair is a mess and there is a bunch of grass in it.”

Tobin puts Khaleesi back down, shakes her hair, and runs her hand through it a couple times. “Did I get it all.”

“I think so. Grab the cooler and I’ll go get Khaleesi’s leash.” 

Christen puts the leash on Khaleesi then grabs the other handle of the cooler and they start walking to the beach with Morena walking beside Tobin. They set the cooler down and sit on the blanket. Khaleesi settles on Tobin’s lap again and Christen gives her the leash. 

“She really likes you.” Christen says then Morena lays next to Tobin. “They both really like you. Morena usually only lays down with people she sees everyday.”

Tobin shrugs. “I must be a dog whisperer.”

“The rest of the girls are already in the water playing chicken.” Christen pulls her hair up into a bun and turns to Tobin. “Are you any good at that? It’s kind of our thing and I’m sure everyone else already chose their buddy.”

“Um. Yeah, I guess.” Tobin pets an already napping Khaleesi to distract herself while Christen takes off her top and shorts to reveal a simple black two piece bathing suit.

“You’re the bottom. I’m always the top.” Christen stands up and gives her hand to Tobin to pull her up.

Tobin gets up. “Ok boss, but what about Khaleesi?”

Christen turns around and sees Alex and Kelley walking towards them. “Kelley can watch her. Come on.” Christen playfully pulls Tobin’s shirt. “Get naked.”

“Huh?”

“Do you plan on going into the water with all your clothes on?”

“No. Let me just take my top off. Go ahead. I’ll catch up in a bit.”

“Ok. Let me know if you need help.” Christen teases

“Ha ha. I know how to take my shirt off. Go.” Tobin lightly pushes Christen toward the ocean.

Christen runs past Alex and Kelley and jumps into the water. Tobin pulls her top off and throws it on top of Christen’s. Tobin hands the leash to Kelley and walks toward the group of girls. 

Christen walks out with a few loose curls sticking to her face and shoulders. She grabs Tobin’s hand and pulls her into the water. “Come on. We’re up next against Pinoe and Syd. East Coast and West Coast teaming up to dethrone the chicken duo. Syd on top or Pinoe on top. It doesn’t matter because they always win but not today!”

“Seriously?” Tobin laughs and looks down at their hands.

“Yeah, and you’re my secret weapon.”

“I said I was good not-”

Christen interrupts Tobin. “Shh! Doesn’t matter. Just don’t let go of me and I’ll do the rest.”

Pinoe and Syd approach them. Pinoe sits on top of Syd and wipes her hair out of her face

“Alright, how many rounds this time? Best 2 out of 3?” Pinoe asks. Syd spins around as a small wave hits them but they manage to stay together.

“Uh yeah. That sounds good.” Christen taps on Tobin’s shoulder, “Get down.”

Tobin’s breathing becomes a bit labored. She never should have agreed to this. She doesn’t know if she can handle having Christen’s thighs practically wrapped around her head. She stands there like a deer caught in the headlights and Christen repeats herself, “Tobin, get down so I can get on top.”

“Right.” Tobin holds her breath and gets down to let Christen climb on top. When she feels Christen’s other thigh on her shoulder she stands up and grabs a hold of Christen’s thighs to keep her stable.

Christen looks down at Tobin. “Don’t let go ok.” Christen places her hands over Tobin’s “Hold me as tight as you can.”

“Come on, lets go. We all know who the winners will be in the end.” Syd claps her hands. “You ready?”

Christen checks the knots of her bathing suit. “Now we’re ready.”

Tobin lets her competitive nature take over so she isn’t thinking about how smooth Christen’s skin is or pay too close attention to her grunts as she drops Pinoe a third time.

“Fuck YEAH! We’re the champs now!” Christen yells out. “Ok Tobin put me down.”

Tobin releases her grip and holds her breath before dropping down into the water. She comes up a few seconds later and is crushed by Christen’s hug.

“Oh my god!” Christen jumps up onto Tobin and wraps her legs around her. “We did it. Thank You.”

Tobin instinctively grabs Christen’s thighs and starts walking out of the water. “That was awesome.”

“You know. I should be giving you a piggyback ride back to get something to drink.” Christen unwraps her legs and lands on the warm sand.

“Sorry about that.” Tobin points to a light outline of where her hands were on Christen thighs. “Had a death-grip on you. Hopefully it doesn’t leave a bruise.”

“It’s alright. We won and that’s all that matters.” Christen turns her back to Tobin and leans down a bit. “Jump on so we can get something to drink.”

Tobin hikes up her boardshorts a bit and jumps on Christen’s back. “Don’t drop me.”

They reach Alex and Kelley just as the sky changes color and the sun begins to set. 

“Just in time to watch the sun set Tob.” Kelley pats the spot next to her on the edge of the blanket

Tobin sits down and Khaleesi wrestles her way out of Alex’s lap to sit on Tobin’s, leaving little bits of sand on Tobin’s legs. Christen grabs a water bottle for herself and Tobin then sits down.

“Wow. I feel so loved Khaleesi.” Alex jokes. “Tobin, you have dog treats on you?”

“Nope. Dogs just love me.” Tobin responds.

Kelley leans back. “Hey Chris your phone has been going off for the past 30 minutes.” Kelley hands her the phone and sits up.

Christen looks down at the screen. “It’s Vero. Probably wants to wish you a happy birthday.” Christen calls Vero while she leans into Tobin to rub Khaleesi’s belly.

Tobin stiffens as she hears the faint sound of the phone ringing. “Do we have any more beer in that cooler?”

“No. We left that cooler in the backyard. We just have soda and water in that one.” Kelley replies.

“Hey…yeah. She’s right here…We’re at the beach still. We’ll head back in a bit to cut the cake…Speaker?” Christen brings her phone down and puts Vero on speaker.

_“Feliz Cumpleaños Kelley!”_

“Thanks Vero.” Kelley speaks up to be hears over the crashing waves.

Christen stands up and takes Vero off speaker. “Tobin can you hold this.” Christen holds her phone out to Tobin. “I want to let my hair down. Thanks.”

Tobin holds the phone as she watches Christen’s hair fall down over her shoulders curlier than she’s ever seen it.

Christen grabs the phone. “Thanks. I’m going for a walk. Don’t leave without me.”

“Go. We’ll be hear until the sun sets. It’s time Tobin experiences a west coast sunset on the beach.” Kelley shoos her away.

“OK.” Christen walks away with the phone against her ear.

Tobin hears her laugh a little as she walks with Morena trailing behind her. “So that was her girlfriend?” Tobin asks as she draws lines in the sand with her finger.

“Veronica, but she goes by Vero most of the time,” Kelley stretches her legs out.

“Why didn’t she come?” Tobin asks.

“She couldn’t come because she’s in Sweden right now.” Kelley says as she too starts playing with the sand.

“Oh. How did they meet?” Tobin can’t stop her self. She knows it’s none of her business but she continues asking questions.

“She’s from Spain. We met her our junior year. She decided to try the student exchange program her senior year. She got lost the first day and ran into us in the girls bathroom. I was barley taking spanish that year but Christen is pretty fluent so she showed her around and we just started hang out.”

“Oh, so now they are doing the long distance thing? That must be hard.” Tobin says softly as she takes another drink from her water bottle.

“Not super hard. They talk all the time. Just like we did when we were on the East Coast.” Kelley says as she puts her shirt back on, getting a little chilly as the sun sets and the sky starts to change colors more quickly. She leans against Tobin and points towards the horizon, “Isn’t the West Coast beautiful?”

Tobin looks up at the sky then hears Christen’s laugh again in the distance. She turns to watch Christen walk back towards them before she answers, “Yeah, it’s gorgeous.” She sighs.

Morena reaches Tobin before Christen does and lays down next to her again.

“Looks like Morena took my seat again.” Christen picks up Morena and sits next to Tobin. She lays Morena on her lap and they watch the sun set in silence before heading back with all the girls to cut the cake.

* * *

 

Day Off

Christen holds on to box of donuts with one hand as she greets Kelley’s mom when she passes her on the drive way.

“Kelley is still asleep but I think Tobin is awake. Tell Kelley to take out the trash in the kitchen please.” 

“I’ll just take it out right now.” Christen says as she keeps walking on the pathway leading to the front door.

“Thanks Christen.” Kelley’s mom yells out as she closes the car door and drives away.

Christen walks through the house and into Kelley’s room. Kelley is on her bed, facing the door, one leg under the blanket and an arm covering her eyes as she continues to sleep. Tobin is on the other side of the bed, her back to Christen. She is almost completely covered by the blankets except for her face and the hand she has out. She holds her phone close to her face as she scroll through the US Soccer Youtube page looking through old highlight videos she has already watched thousands of times.

“Good morning.” Christen whispers as she slips off her shoes and sits down at the foot of the bed facing Kelley and Tobin.

“JESUS!” Tobin yells as she drops her phone, her hair in a messy ponytail and some of the loose strands tickling the sides of her face as she sits up clutching her chest. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me come in.” Christen says then holds up the box. “Donut?”

“Mmm.. Why are you guys so loud?” Kelley sits up and rubs her eyes.

“Sorry Kel.” Christen says. “I’m off today and I brought donuts.”

“Gimme.” Kelley says as she leans forwards with her hands stretched out. Christen takes out her donut and hands Kelley the box. Tobin leans over the bed and picks up her phone from the ground.

Christen takes a bite of her sugar coated donut, licks the corners of her mouth and chews before covering her mouth while asking, “So what are we doing today?”

Kelley grabs her donut and Tobin takes the box from her. She takes out a sprinkled donut. 

“Lets go to TJ.” Kelley jokes. “Just a day trip.”

Tobin turns to Kelley before she bites into her donut. “You don’t have a passport Kel. Remember last summer you wanted to go to Canada and we were halfway there before I asked you if you brought it and you said you didn’t have one and we had to drive back.”

“You guys were going to Canada last summer? Kelley you didn’t tell me.” Christen says.

“Oh yeah.” Kelley rubs the back of her neck. “Well I wanted to text you “Guess where I’m at” and then send you a picture of me in front of the Niagara Falls but we never made it. I still don’t get my passport either.” 

“So, then what do you want to do today?” Christen asks again.

“Well Tobin wanted to go surfing but we can do something else if you want.”

Christen finishes her donut and licks the sugar from her fingers.

“Tobin wants to go surfing so lets go surfing then.” Christen stands up.

Tobin picks up a few sprinkles that had fallen on the blanket and puts them on her tongue as she looks up at Christen then at Kelley. “What?”

“Chris, you don’t like surfing.” Kelley says then takes huge bite of her donut.

“I don’t like it because you are a shit teacher. Now that Tobin is here, she can teach me. I’ve seen her on her surfboard a couple times and I’m pretty sure she is better at it than you.” Christen looks at Tobin as she eats the last piece of her sprinkled donut. “You can teach me right?”

Tobin quickly swallows before answering, “I…I guess. I mean I can try but no promises.”

Christen smiles at Tobin. “Ok then get up, get your things and we can head to my place and walk to the beach from there.”

“Good luck Tobin.” Kelley says under her breath and leans towards Tobin to bump her shoulder.

Christen playfully glares at Kelley and picks up a dirty sock from the floor. “I heard that.” She throws it but Kelley swats it to the side.

“Ya missed.” Kelley says and sticks her tongue out at Christen.

“Just because you can’t handle her doesn’t mean I won’t.” Tobin laughs.

Kelley picks up her pillow and hits Tobin’s arm with it. Tobin gets off the bed and grabs a pillow while simultaneously throwing an extra pillow to Christen. She catches it with both hands before it hits her face.

“Oh so this is how its going to be from now on? Both of you are going to start ganging up on me now?” Kelley gets up from the bed and grabs her pillow. “Well then, bring it on. I can take you both.”


	5. UNC Or Penn State

Gym

The sunlight is barely peeking out from behind the trees when Kling feels the edge of the bed sink a little as someone sits down. She peeks out from under her blanket to see who it is.

“You ready?” Kelley asks as she puts her hair up in a high pony tail.

Kling brings the blanket back over her head and groans.

“Come on Kling you promised you would go with me.” Kelley says as she leans back and lays across Kling’s legs.

Kling groans again but this time as she sits up. She has major bedhead and Kelley tries not to laugh as she looks up at her. 

“What time is is?” Kling asks as she rubs her eyes and yawns.

“Early, but you promised,” Kelley sits up again and bends down to pull out Kling’s shoes from under the bed. “Here, get ready. She’s usually there around this time.”

Kling grabs the shoes. “She who?”

“The girl I told you about.”

“The rugby player?” Kling asks. She throws her legs over the edge of the bed and sets her shoes back down on the floor.

“Yeah, now hurry up. I don’t want to be late. I want to get the treadmill next to the one she always uses.”

“Wait…Kelley who let you into my dorm room?”

“Your RA, I bribed her with the coffee I had actually brought for you. I’ll buy you breakfast after our workout, I promise.”

*

Kling has her music blasting from her headphones while she is on the mat stretching before she starts her work out. She is almost done when someone comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder.

It’s a red head from her poetry class.

“Hey, it’s Ariel right?” Kling asks as she pulls her headphones down.

“Yeah. Sorry to bother you but,” Ariel points to the direction of the treadmills. “Is that your friend over there arguing with that tall brunette? I mean I just assumed since you walked in together.”

Kling turns to see Kelley staring down and talking to the rugby player she had mentioned earlier that morning. Kling sighs and reluctantly gets off the floor. The rugby player places her hands on her hips while Kelley’s hands go every which way as she continues to argue. Kling is far enough that she can’t really make out what Kelley is saying but it obviously can’t be good.

“Yeah, that’s my friend Kelley. Thanks for the heads up.” Kling says as she begins to make her way through the rows of exercise machines. By the time she walks past the massive weight lifting equipment and gets within earshot of them Kelley is still arguing but she also hears a laugh come from the rugby player. Kling finds Kelley standing on top of the metal frame for box jumps and her hands on her hips now.

“What?” Kelley asks the girl looking up at her.

The rugby player covers her mouth as she tries to stop laughing. Kling pulls out her phone and takes a quick picture now that the situation seems to have deescalated during the short time it took her to walk from the other side of the gym.

“Nothing. Um.. ok you win. You can have the treadmill. I’ll just wait until another one is free.”

The rugby player walks away, Kelley jumps off and Kling strolls up to her.

“What was all that?” Kling asks.

“That was me making the first move.” Kelley says as she puts the box frame back and steps up on the treadmill.

“Well you’re first move didn’t really work now did it?” Kling gestures to the girl walking towards the dumbbells. “She walked away.”

“She might be walking away but she’ll be back in a bit.” Kelley says.

“How are you so sure of that?”

“Simple. She laughed and smiled at me. If she wasn’t interested at all she would’ve just walked around me to get on the treadmill when I went to grab the box frame a few steps away. She wanted to see where this would go so I have no doubt that she will be back.” 

“Mmm. I don’t know.” Kling says.

Kelley looks at the huge mirror in front of her and points to it. “Look. She is staring right now. She sat on the bench with the clearest view of this treadmill. She could have chosen the one closer to the dumbbells but she didn’t. She walked all the way to the rack and all the way back to _that_ bench.”

Kling turns around and sure enough the girl is staring at Kelley until she notices Kling staring back. She quickly lays back and starts her workout.

“I..I can’t believe that actually worked.”

Kelley turns on the treadmill, starts it off slow so she can keep talking to Kling. “Of course it work. Look at me. I’m hot. Who wouldn’t want to get with this?”

Kling rolls her eyes then says “Me. I don’t. You owe me breakfast, don’t forget” before walking away to find the pull up bar.

* * *

 

Kelley walks into the library in search of Tobin. She walks to the second level and spots her sitting on the ground near the floor to ceiling windows surrounded by notes and her laptop on the side charging.

“Hey Tobs, sorry to bother you and I know you have a test tomorrow but do you mind if I use your laptop for like maybe an hour? Mine’s getting fixed and it won’t be ready until tomorrow morning.” Kelley asks, a little out of breath from running across campus.

“Yeah, sure. You got an online quiz or something?” Tobin asks then looks down at her notebook, flipping through a couple pages until she finds a blank one.

"Vero is taking Christen to visit her parents in Spain later this week. She wont have time to skype later and neither will I so we planned to chat today."

Tobin pats the empty space on the floor next to her, “Sit, mind if I crash your little BFF Skype date? I haven’t seen Christen since we dropped her off at the airport. She has sent me a couple messages weeks ago but I forgot to respond. I promised her I would keep her updated on all your shenanigans.”

Kelley sits down and Tobin hands her the laptop. “What shenanigans? I’m a saint.” Kelley smiles as she grabs the computer.

“Yeah sure.” Tobin chuckles. “I highly doubt you told her about your little spat with the rugby player last week.” Tobin turns to face Kelley, eyebrow raised. “Or did you?”

“I was planning on telling her today.” Kelley says matter-of-factly as she puts a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Tobin closes her notebook. "I can't wait to see how you tell her you got into an argument with a girl over a stupid treadmill or that you walked away with her number and a coffee date afterward.”

“Since you haven’t asked yet, the date went well,” Kelley continues as she scoots back to lean against the wall. “It was all part of my master plan. I just have that much game. You jealous?”

“So you planned on arguing over the treadmill to get her number?”

“Actually, I had a feeling she had a crush on me for a while or at least liked me a little. I had caught her staring at me 2 weeks ago when I was doing pull-ups. Thought she was cute but I didn’t know how to approach her since I only ever saw her in the gym with the rest of the rugby team. I took the treadmill she was waiting for and forced her to talk to me. She just needed that extra little push." Kelley shrugs and opens up Tobin’s laptop, clicks on the Skype icon as she continues to talk.

"She looked a little mad at first but I think she started to soften up a bit when I grabbed one of the steel frames for box jumps and used it as a step stool to talk down to her. She laughed and she just let me go on the treadmill first.” Kelley smiles as she thinks back to that day in the gym.

“When Kling was telling me the story in class I didn’t believe her until she showed me the picture she snapped. I was laughing so hard the professor told me to leave or shut up.” Tobin says.

“She said she thought it was cute and that it was one of the reasons why she decided to give me her number afterwards.” Kelley says.

“One of the reasons?” Tobin asks.

“She said I owed her at least a cup of coffee for making her miss her cardio workout that day.” They are interrupted when Christen finally answers the Skype call.

“Hey Kelley! It feels like forever since I last talked to you.” Christen says as she puts her hair up in a ponytail.

Her voice sounds angelic to Tobin and she can't help but feel warm inside.

“Hey Chris, yeah it feels like forever. Guess who’s here with me.” Kelley says.

Tobin leans closer to Kelley to peek at the screen and feels a little sad Christen put her beautiful hair up.

“Do you really want me to guess, because I can already see half her face. EAST! COAST! How’s it going?”Christen says as smiles and waves.

Tobin laughs and leans closer to Kelley, “Hey Chris. How’s your trip so far?”

“It’s fantastic!” Christen beams.

Vero comes into frame behind her. Christen looks up at Vero as she places a hand on Christen’s shoulder.

“Oye Amor, ahorita vengo. I’ma go out for a run.” She says and angles Christen's head back to give her a quick kiss.

Tobin looks away as soon as Christen leans back to accept the kiss. She might only be dealing with a little crush but she didn’t have time to deal with feelings of jealousy too. A feeling she isn’t even entitled to feel in this situation. She grabs her note book again and flips through a few notes to distract herself.

“Oh, Hey Kelley, and this must be Tobin. Hello Tobin.” Vero waves at both of them.

“Hey” Kelley and Tobin both say as they wave back at Vero.

“I’ll be back in 45 mins.” Vero says as she walks towards the front door.

Christen yells after her, “Cariño! Stop by the store and bring me some chocolate on your way back!”

“Ok.” says Vero before walking out the door.

Christen turns back to the computer. “So Tobin, are you keeping Kelley in line. She hasn’t been skipping class right?”

"Umm...no." Tobin tenses when Christen gives her disapproving look.

"Tobin." Christen says sternly. "Tell me the truth."

Kelley whispers in Tobin's ear, "Get ready for Christen's wrath."

Tobin sighs and slumps back onto the wall. "We skipped ONE lecture to go surfing. Before you start yelling at me, we got the notes from Kling. We didn't miss much because the professor cut the lecture short. He was still hungover and decided to go home."

"Ok, well that isn't that bad. I’m counting on you to take care of this one, keep her out of trouble at least until I get back.” Christen says.

“I’ll try my best to.” Tobin says.

“So Kelley tell me about this new girl you’re seeing. Kling sent me a really odd picture of you yelling at this poor girl.” Christen says as she checks the text from Kling again.

Tobin can’t wait to see how Christen will respond to the weird story of Hope and Kelley meeting.

“They met at the gym, Kelley was picking a fight with her-” Tobin starts to say but Kelley’s hand shoots out and quickly covers her mouth. Tobin just mumbles into Kelley’s hand then sticks her tongue out to lick it.

“Ew,” Kelley wipes her hand on her shirt. "Her name is Hope and we just hang out sometimes."

“Tobin have you met her yet?” Christen asks.

"Not yet but I have seen her stop by practice to drop off some Starbucks for Kelley. Yesterday she gave Kelley a ride back to the dorms." Tobin says as she nudges Kelley.

"Ok can we move on from my love-life and onto something else? We’ve only gone out for coffee and she occasionally brings me food. We haven't had the DTR talk yet.” Kelley says as her phone pings. She looks down at the message notification.

Tobin turns to look at Kelley. “From what I have seen, she looks pretty damn smitten so it is only a matter of time before she asks you out on a real date. Not just coffee but a sit down dinner type of date.”

“Is that her? Did she send you a message? What does it say?” Christen asks, and signals Tobin to check.

Tobin leans closer to look at Kelley’s screen and confirms that it is a message from Hope, “She wants to take Kelley out to a bonfire on the beach with her rugby team.” Tobin says as Kelley looks up from her phone to glare at her.

“You should totally go Kel.”

“What about this? I want to hear all about your trip.”

“My trip is going great Kelley. I can facetime you some other day. Text her back and tell her you're going. ”

“Are you sure?” Kelley asks.

“Yeah, I can just chat with Tobin here. We haven’t really had the chance to catch up.” Christen smiles.

Tobin feels a little guilty at how excited she is to have all of Christen's attention on her. She shouldn't be wishing it was like this all the time but she can't help it. Christen's presence in her life had already lifted Tobin up from the rock bottom she was left in by her Ex's selfish actions. Her positive outlook on life made Tobin feel like she could get her life back on track. It's hard not to get addicted to a person like Christen. Tobin is getting tired of resisting her but she also doesn't want to get between Christen and Vero so she will continue to do her best at keeping everything platonic between them.

“Well Tobin was in the middle of a study session-” Kelley starts but Tobin cuts her off.

“Actually I do need a break from studying.” Tobin says.

“See Kelley, you can go. Gotta lock it down before someone else swoops in Kel,” Christen says as she winks, and Tobin almost groans. Being exposed to this type of charm might just be the death of her.

“Alright, bye Chris.” Kelley gets up off the floor. “See ya later Tobin. Thanks for letting me crash your little study session.”

“You’re welcome. Bye Kel.” Tobin says as she waves goodbye.

“So how are you doing Tobin? How’s school?”

"uh.. Fine.” Tobin replies

“Just fine, anything new and exciting in your life? Or anyone new and exciting?” Christen smirks and Tobin feels her breathing quicken just a bit.

"Nah, I don't have time for that right now and even if I did, no one has really shown any interest in me. Or maybe I'm not really paying attention and they have..."  Tobin trails off as she remembers the waitress from the diner that is always extra nice to her.

“You’re an attractive girl, are you telling me no one has asked you out yet?”

Tobin feels her face warm up and she brings a hand up to cover her cheek. She is almost positive that she is blushing right now.

“You think I’m attractive?” Tobin smirks.

"Shut up, Tobin. You know you're hot. If you tried even a little, you'd still be pulling girls left and right."

"I'm trying to put all my energy in soccer right now. We're waiting to find out if we are going to play against UNC or Penn State next week so I can't really entertain the idea of a girlfriend at this moment. Soccer is very important to me and I can't afford to let distractions steer my focus away from my main goal." 

"Who do you want to up against in the next round?"

Tobin begins to play with her hair. "Anyone but Penn State."

"Why? Do you want to go up against UNC? They have a pretty solid squad this year and Ash is killin' it."

"Are you saying we don't have a chance against them?" Tobin feels her heart painfully pounding against her rib cage and attempts to do her breathing exercises without looking weird. She counts her breaths and tries to steady her heart rate. 

"No, that's not what I'm saying. You guys are great too. Look how far you've gotten without me on the squad yet."Christen pauses when Tobin begins to look a little pale. "I'm only joking Tobin." She thinks she might have hit a nerve and thinks of a way to guide the conversation to something else.

A campus security guard approaches Tobin, “The library is closing in five minutes. You might want to start packing up.”

“Ok, Thanks.” Tobin looks back at her laptop, “Looks like I’m getting kicked out.”

Christen releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. “Yeah I heard. Well… I guess we’ll talk later then?”

“Yup. Talk to you later West Coast.” Tobin anxiously jokes.

“Oh so we’re back to the nicknames?” Christen laughs.

“Hey you’re the one that brought it up at the beginning of this Skype call.” Tobin laughs.

"Well East Coast, keep me updated on the Hope situation and keep an eye on Kel."

Tobin salutes Christen. "You got it boss."

 


	6. Skip

With school in full swing, getting more hours at work, and training on her own during her free time,Tobin has been a bit out of touch with some of her friends, including Christen. There were a few Facebook messages exchanged but mostly basic catching up chats and a few messages about Kelley and her new girlfriend Hope.

After their last Skype chat in the library Tobin decides it’s best to steer clear of soccer talk but she is also afraid of accidentally letting an inappropriate compliment slip out. She's been trying to seems chill but then Christen does something absolutely adorable and Tobin falls deeper into the hole.

She is glad that Kelley has been keeping her in the loop of how Christen’s trip is going. Apparently Christen is planning on coming back a little early now that Vero’s student visa was approved. She wouldn’t be going to Stanford with them but to UCLA and it was about 5 hours away.

It wasn’t ideal for Christen but it was better to have her girlfriend in the same state as her instead of in another continent an ocean away.

Tobin is packing up all her things after spending the day playing basketball with some girls from the team. Kelley comes up behind her, hand stretched out looking at her phone while she sits down next to Tobin on the grass with the rest of the girls. It had been a while since she’d seen Christen and it doesn’t surprise her when the butterflies return. She spent the last two months only talking to Christen through facebook messages she almost forgot the feeling. Tobin kind of missed them fluttering about in her stomach.

“Look who finally has enough free time to facetime with us.” Kelley says as she turns the phone to show Christen that she is sitting down next to Tobin. “You’re not working today right?”

Tobin shakes her head no, looks up as she slips her foot into her shoe, “Hey Chris. Heard you’re returning before the next semester starts. So when will ‘West Coast’ be back in the West Coast?

“I’m going back but Vero wants to travel a bit before we both start school in the fall. She didn’t really get to do much traveling her first time in the states.”

“Oh, I thought you were going to start school as soon as you got back. But I guess traveling around the US would be more fun than sitting in a boring class,” Tobin tries not to sound too disappointed.

“Aw, you guys miss me already? Don’t worry I will visit you guys as soon after I see my parents and my pups.” Christen says when she notices Tobin gloomy demeanor. “Hopefully my mom or dad let me borrow one of their cars, I don’t want to go on the bus and the Amtrak takes forever.”

“So your dogs are more important than us?” Kelley jokes as she bumps Tobin’s shoulder with her own.

“Uh yeah, Kelley. You know the hierarchy,” Christen starts listing them off. “It’s pups, Vero, you guys, then soccer, except right now I’m only getting to enjoy #2 and #4. Vero took me to a friendly between the USWNT and Sweden a couple days ago. It was a pretty awesome late birthday present.”

Kelley turns to look at Tobin who has become really quiet and has her head turned away from them, watching some of their teammates walk to their cars. She knows that Tobin was in the process of making it into the national team because Tobin had been in the youth national teams since she was 15. Tobin never really went into detail as to why she was no longer in the team. She only told Kelley that she just wasn’t fit enough for the team and they haven't invited her to another camp in over a year. Kelley has watched Tobin train and play soccer with so much passion she didn’t find it logical for that to be the reason. Kelley had tried to bring it up again this past summer but Tobin completely shut her down, it was the only time ‘Always Chill Tobin’ had ever been really defensive so Kelley let it go.

“Do you know exactly when you will be back?” Kelley tries to steer the conversation to something else.

“We are planning on going back in late April.” Christen says as she looks off to the side of Vero’s room to take a quick glance at the calendar pinned on the wall.

Stop Desire by Tegan and Sara starts playing really loud from somewhere inside Tobin’s backpack.

“What’s that?” Christen asks. It sounds so familiar but she can’t seem to pin it down. The name of the song is on the tip of her tongue.

“My phone. Dammit, it’s way at the bottom,” Tobin says as she opens up her bag to look for it.

“You like Tegan and Sara?” Christen asks as she remembers the name of the song when it gets to the first verse. They had talked about many things since the summer but she isn’t sure if they ever got to the topic of music.

“Yeah, she’s kind of been obsessed since I took her to the concert. Thanks for the tickets Chris.” Kelley answers her since Tobin is a little busy taking things out of her bag to get to her phone which somehow ended up at the bottom.

Tobin finds her phone and answers it. “Hello?….Hm…. WHAT?!…. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Ok. I’m on my way.” Tobin now frantic, starts shoving everything back into her bag as fast as she can.

“What happened?” Christen asks a bit worried.

Tobin stands up and puts on her backpack. “I’m definitely getting kicked out of the dorms. They found out about Skip. I have to go. Bye Chris, Kelley I’ll call you later.” Tobin says quickly as she gets up then starts sprinting towards the parking lot a couple feet away.

Christen still confused as to what just happened looks to Kelley to explain, “Kelley what just happened?”

“I told you about the time we skipped a lecture to go to the beach right?”

"Yeah, and?"

"We went to the beach to surf a bit and Tobin found a little puppy, a gray pit bull and she fed it some of her hamburger. It followed her everywhere after that, even into the water. Oh my god it was really cute. I think I have a video of it swimming to Tobin on her surfboard.”

“Aw. That is so cute.” Christen could just imagine Tobin being super adorable with a little puppy. She thinks back to Kelley’s birthday party when they were left alone in the backyard because everyone left to the beach before them and Tobin played with her dogs. Christen still has the picture of Tobin with messy hair and bits of grass everywhere and a huge smile on her face holding up Khaleesi. It became Tobin’s contact picture on Christen’s phone and it never fails to make her smile when it pops up.

“Super cute. She picked him up and he just sat with her on the surfboard. I got a picture of that too. I even printed it out and put it in a frame for her.” Kelley says.

“Ok. Really cute story but what does this have to do with Tobin getting kicked out of the dorms?” Christen asks.

“Because at the end of that day she couldn’t leave him out there. There wasn’t anyone else around. It was just us in the parking lot packing up to leave and the pup still following Tobin. They really took a shine to each other, those two.”

“So you’re telling me Tobin took the puppy with her to the dorms? Where there is a strict no pets rule?”

Kelley nods as she speaks, “Yup, but she was already planning on moving out. The pup was starting to get a little too big for her tiny dorm room.”

“Is she going to get at least couple days to find a new place?” Christen could swear she feels a stress pimple starting to form on her chin. Tobin could be homeless in a couple minutes and it was causing Christen some anxiety and stress.

“Yeah but I’m sure the dog will have to leave right now, and I know she won’t want to leave him in a shelter while she searches for a new place.” Kelley says as she sees a familiar truck drive into the nearly empty parking lot. Moments later there is a loud honk.

“That’s my ride.” Kelley says as she get up and throws her backpack over her shoulder.

“Your ride? Let me guess. Hope?” Christen smiles because she knows she is right just by the look on Kelley’s face. She was obviously smitten and from what Tobin had said in her messages to Christen days before, Hope was too.

“Yup, I’ll text you later about Tobin’s situation if she doesn’t tell you first.”

They say their goodbyes and Kelley walks to the passenger side of Hope’s truck. She climbs in and leans toward her girlfriend for a kiss. “Hey babe.” Hope leans in the rest of the way and kisses Kelley.

“Hey. Where’s Tobin? She usually waits with you until I show up.” Hope asks. She puts the car in drive and reaches over to hold Kelley’s hand as she drives out of the parking lot.

“Something came up and she had to hightail it back to the dorms. Why did you come this late? You’re usually here around ten minutes after I tell you we're done.” Kelley says.

Hope lets go of Kelley’s hand and pulls a piece of paper out of her jeans pocket and hands it over to Kelley. “I had to change my phone number. I.. uh.. kept getting calls from telemarketers and it was starting to annoy me.”

“Oh, ok.” Kelley changes Hope’s contact info on her phone then gives Hope the piece of paper back as she asks “So what are we doing tonight?”

Hope stops at a red light and turns to Kelley. “Well that depends, do you want to go out or stay in?

“What is going on around town tonight?” Kelley asks as she types out a text to Tobin.

KO: Christen seemed a little worried about the possibility of you being homeless so send her some updates on your situation. Send her a message before you knock out please or else she will stress the rest of the day.

Kelley’s phone lights up moments later, it’s a text from Tobin.

TH: K

Hope waits until Kelley’s attention is back on her before answering. “The team was invited to a BBQ at one of the sorority houses. Do you want to check that out?”

“Mmm, nah. Lets just stay in tonight.”

“Do you want me to stop by your dorm so you can pick up some clothes and shower at my place? Then we can figure out what we want to eat.” Hope says as she switches lanes.

Kelley looks at Hope who is wearing tight jeans and a muscle shirt with huge arm holes that expose her lacy black bra, her ribs and a bit of her waist. Kelley licks her lips and replies, “I think I just made up my mind on what I want to eat…”

Hope turns to briefly look at her girlfriend before looking back at the road. Kelley is eyeing her with lustful eyes and a smirk. Hope just rolls her eyes and laughs. Instantly recognizing her girlfriend’s ‘I am horny’ look. “Is that all you think about?”

“Have you seen yourself lately? You look extremely fuckable, since I have the privilege of fucking you I’m going to take full advantage of that. Especially when you don’t have a game this week, i might just keep you in bed this whole weekend.” Kelley smiles and leans in to give Hope a quick kiss on her cheek. “All that aside I am starving so take me to Sonic, I’ve been craving tater tots all day.”

*

Kelley and Tobin are sitting at a coffee shop early in the morning sipping on hot coffee. Kelley burns the tip of her tongue but she doesn’t care she requires caffeine to help Tobin search for a new place. Tobin is on a deadline and only has two weeks to find a new place and leave the dorms.

Tobin leans back into the couch, “Who knew there was such a thing as a dog hotel. Like I’m glad that they exist because I wouldn’t want to leave Skip in some random shelter while I look for a new place. Honestly I should have started looking for a place as soon as I brought him back to the dorms but life kind of got in the way.”

Kelley places her laptop on the coffee table, “Not a lot of pet friendly one bedroom apartments though.” She says, a little frustrated. Although they had only started going through websites for about 1 hour, she thought they would have at least a couple option to choose from by now.

“Like not many or none?” Tobin asks as she scrolls through an app on her phone.

“There is some but they are way out there, like a full hour drive from school.” Kelley says.

“Look for a two bedroom apartment then, maybe I can look for a roommate too.” Tobin says. She really wanted to live on her own but she could always do that some other time. Right now she just needed to find a good place that was pet friendly.

“Didn’t you just get a promotion? I can look for something a little more expensive.” Kelley says.

“I wouldn’t really call it a promotion. My manager Tom asked me if I wanted to learn how to drive a forklift because his son quit last week.” Tobin takes a sip of her coffee. "I told him I already knew. You know, because I had that summer job in a fabrication shop my dad's friend owns and they needed me to move around the sheets of metal."

“Oh yeah. You had to wear those huge boots with the steel toe.” Kelley pauses then tries to hold back her laughter, “I also remember getting a text from you one afternoon telling me you couldn’t come over because you were grounded. When I asked why, you just sent me a picture of a hole in the wall and the words ‘Fuckin Steel Toe’. I think I screencapped that text and put it on my Instagram.”

“I know, both my sisters and brother liked it.” Tobin pushes Kelley lightly as she continues to laugh. “Anyway, Tom offered me the new position because he needed an extra driver to unload the shipments that came to the store. I’m actually going to start working even more when Mark’s wife goes into labor in a couple months, and for a month after that when Mark takes his vacation days to spend time with his newborn.”

“So can I change the price range?” Kelley asks.

“Yeah go ahead, hopefully we get more options.”

Kelley picks up her laptop and changes the search info on the website she is on. 50 different listings pop up seconds later.

Tobin leans in to look, she points at one of the listings that looks promising, “Click that one, looks like its nice.”

“Ok this one is too far from school and your job. Next.” Kelley goes back and clicks on another listing. “How about this one, it’s 10 mins away from the school and 15 mins away from your job. Oh!” Kelley points at the screen. “Look it’s a block away from Hope’s apartment. I’ve passed by there so many times and I never saw a ‘For Rent’ sign. The listing must have gone up recently.”

“Hopefully no one else has seen it because that actually sounds pretty good. I can save a bunch on gas, not that I go to a bunch of places now. Gosh I’m so lame, we need another beach day Kel.”

“Yeah we do.” Kelley sighs.

“So is this apartment pet friendly?” Tobin asks becoming even more interested in this apartment. She could walk or go on her long-board to school and to work if she wanted to.

“Um…” Kelley scrolls down to the description of the apartment’s amenities, “Holy shit! Not only is it super pet friendly, this specific apartment is on the ground floor and has a tiny back yard, all the other available apartments have balconies. Oh my god, each apartment comes with appliances, like a freakin’ washer and dryer. It’s basically move-in ready.”

“Whoa! Really?” Tobin takes Kelley’s laptop to read through the description herself. “Oh my god, this is perfect. I’m going to call them right now.”

Tobin hands back the laptop to Kelley after she dials the number on the apartment listing. Kelley looks through the pictures of the apartment while Tobin waits for someone to answer.

“If you don’t find a roommate, I’ll be your roommate. This place looks gorgeous.” Kelley says as she clicks through the pictures a second time.

Tobin turns to her. “Are you serious? Because that would be great. I don’t want to sift through creepy craigslist roommate ads for hours.”

“Yeah, I mean it’s placed perfectly. I hate having to do my laundry in the launder mat and it’s super close to Hope’s place. I could literally walk to her apartment from there.”

“Wow ok, this is great.” Tobin is excited, everything is falling into place for once in a long time. She is so happy that apartment hunting didn’t take hours. Now all she needs is to get the people renting out the apartment to answer her call.


	7. Roll Over

Tobin sits in her car as she waits for Kelley, scanning the radio since her ipod was in one of the many boxes in her dorm room. She settles on a station but isn’t really interested in the music coming out of the speakers.

Today is the day she and Kelley start to move their things into their new apartment. She had set up all the utilities a couple days before and Kelley had set up the internet, phone, and cable soon after that. All they needed to do now was buy some basic furniture for their shared space like the living room and the small dining room. Both their mattresses had already arrived yesterday morning. There is so many things on her to-do list today, she is glad Tom didn’t need her to go to work today since the shipment has been delayed at least two days.

Tobin can’t wait to finally bring Skip home. She visited him at the dog hotel when she had time to make the drive. She felt so bad for leaving him there for a couple days that she went a little crazy at the pet store and bought him a toy chest and a bunch of dog toys. She also found a pretty cheap dog house on Craigslist that she had dropped off at the apartment earlier that morning.

Tobin sees Kelley come down the stairs and she unlocks the car doors. Kelley sits down and unzips her jacket.

“Alright, so what are we doing today?” Kelley asks as she reaches up to pull down the seat belt.

“Furniture store, to pick out a couch for the living room. I need to look for a bed frame and a dresser. We have to buy groceries. Also if we have time we can pick up some paint for our rooms.” Tobin says as she pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street.

“That sounds good. Hope is helping me pack my things from my dorm later today.” Kelley says as she quickly goes through and swipes away the notifications on her phone’s lock screen. She picks up the AUX cord, “Do you mind?”

Tobin turns to look at Kelley as she lightly releases the brake to inch closer to the stop sign. Kelley is scrolling through some playlists on her phone while still holding the AUX cord, “No, go ahead. You still haven’t packed your shit up? I started putting things in boxes as soon as they gave me to keys to the apartment.” Tobin looks down at the cup holders in the middle and grabs the extra set of keys, “Oh by the way here is your set. It also has the key to the mailbox.” Tobin hands Kelley her set of keys. Hers were already attached to the key chain that also had her car keys.

“Thanks. Before it slips my mind, I spoke to the lady selling the dinning table. She said she is willing to give us a 30 dollar discount but that’s it. So do you still want it?” Kelley asks.

“Well yeah, I don’t think we’ll find anything better than that.” Tobin says. As much stress as the move has caused these past couple days, she is glad that things have gone relatively smooth most of the way. If this is the only snag they hit then she is grateful.

Kelley looks back down at her phone to sends a message to the seller. “Tobin, she said it’s pick-up only. I’ll have to ask Hope if we can borrow her truck.”

Tobin chuckles, “As if that girl could deny you anything.”

Kelley turns to face Tobin as she says, “She does…on game days.”

Tobin doesn’t register what Kelley said right away. “Ok. Ew I don’t need to know about your sex life Kel.” Tobin says as turns on her turn signal to head into a diner’s parking lot.

Kelley looks at the diner’s sign. “I thought we were going to the furniture store?” She says as she turns to Tobin.

“It wont be open for another 30 mins, might as well kill time by getting breakfast first.” Tobin says as she parks and takes the key out of the ignition.

“Why do you like coming here so often?” Kelley asks as they get out of the car.

“I love breakfast food and they have the most options. They are open 24 hours a day which is great because I am almost always starving when I get out of work around midnight and almost every other place is closed at that time.” Tobin says.

They walk in and a petite blonde girl greets then with a huge smile while she grabs two menus and walks them over to a booth.

Kelley flips through the menu as Tobin sets hers aside, already knowing what she wants. Kelley looks over to the blonde waitress staring at them. The waitress quickly turns back to talk to her co-worker and Kelley looks back at Tobin as she asks. “So the ONLY reason you come here so often is because it’s open 24 hours a day and because you like the breakfast food? Is that REALLY the only reason? Are you sure?”

Tobin looks over to the counter and smiles when she figures out what Kelley is trying to subtly ask her. “She sometimes gives me extra bacon. So the other reason I come here is because I really love bacon.”

“She’s kind of cute.” Kelley says.

“Yeah, she is cute but she really isn’t my type.”

*

Tobin walks into the empty apartment with Skip in her arms. She sets him down to roam around, his nails making noise on the hardwood floor. She walks over to the glass sliding door that leads out to the tiny backyard and sets down his bag of food next to it before she walks out to arrange his food and water bowl near his dog house. When she is done she looks up to see Skip running at full speed towards her but stops before he crashes into her legs. She leans down to give him a couple pats on his head.

“Alright buddy this is your new home.” She waits for him to sniff around the small space before heading back inside. She hears a knock and heads to the front door.

“Tobs, open the door.” Kelley yells out, but it sounds a bit muffled by the thick door.

Tobin opens the door and sees Hope carrying Kelley, bridal style. Kelley looks at Tobin’s slightly perplexed face and grins.

“I brought you a roommate.” Hope says as she walks in with Kelley.

“Did she make you carry her all the way from the car?” Tobin asks Hope as she pushes the door with her fingertips to close it.

“She didn’t make me, I offered,” Hope says as she lets go of Kelley who lands safely on the ground but still has her arms wrapped around Hope’s neck. “Her flip flop ripped.” Hope looks down at Kelley. “Alright Kelley let go so I can bring in some of your boxes.”

“Get the one marked shoes first so I can go outside too.” Kelley says as she brings her hands around and leaves them on either the side of Hope’s face as she pulls her in for a quick kiss.

Kelley walks outside to play with Skip and gives him her ripped flip flop to chew on while Tobin grabs the rest of the painting supplies from her car. Hope brings back Kelley’s box of shoes. They both start making trips to bring in the rest of the boxes from Hope’s truck. They set them next to Tobin’s boxes in the living room then head to Kelley’s room to start painting.

Kelley peeks into Tobin’s room a couple hours later and sees her carefully painting an all black, tall, skinny palm tree.

“Whoa! Is that why you brought in a bunch of tiny paint cans of different shades of orange?” Kelley says as she walks towards Tobin to stand in front of the wall. She inspects it carefully from the top dark orange color to the bottom that almost looks yellow.

Kelley knew Tobin liked to paint during the off season but Tobin was very protective of her paintings. The first time Kelley had seen one of her paintings she had been waiting in Tobin’s bedroom back in New Jersey while she went down stairs to get Kelley a bottle of water. She had stared at a big painting of the beach Tobin had finally put in a frame and hung above the bed. When Tobin walked in Kelley asked her where she bought it. Tobin had been hesitant at first but then told Kelley that it had been a final project for an art class her freshman year of high school.

Painting had become Tobin’s alternative outlet when she was stressed but couldn’t kick around the ball. It had really helped her stay sane when her coach told her to take it easy after one of the players from the school across town had stepped on her foot during a game. Tobin had not used her artistic skills in quite some time but today it had really helped relive the stress of moving. Maybe it was time she got back into it and finally bought an easel. She still had a majority of her supplies in a box she didn’t even unpack during her short time in the dorms.

“Yeah, my favorite color is orange but I wanted to do something special so I thought I’d paint the sunset,” Tobin says while she adds a couple finishing details to the palm tree.

“Well it looks amazing, I really like the palm trees on the sides,” Kelley says.

“Thanks. Are you and Hope done painting your room?” Tobin asks.

“Nope, we barely finished two walls. We were messing around too much. I got paint on her shorts and she got paint on my back.” Kelley turns around to show Tobin a huge light blue heart on the back of her shirt with a capital ‘H’ below it. “I just came in to ask you if you wanted anything from the taco truck?”

“Oh definitely,” Tobin had been so focused on finishing before she ran out of daylight that she completely forgot the last time she ate was in the morning with Kelley. “Bring me 3 chicken tacos.”

“Alright.” Kelley says as she turns around to start walking towards the door.

“Wait Kelley, what's the wifi password?” Tobin puts the paint brush down and takes her laptop out from her backpack.

“Um..it’s a bunch of random letters and numbers. Let me look for the paper.” Kelley says and then walks out.

Tobin sits down on the floor and leans against the wall opposite of the one she just finished painting. Moments later Kelley walks in and hands Tobin a paper with the password which she quickly types into her laptop and hands back to Kelley.

Tobin figures she can waste a bit of time on YouTube and Facebook while she waits for Kelley and Hope to come back with the food.

*

Christen can’t seem to fall asleep. The last couple weeks sleeping in Vero’s arms have made it near impossible for her to fall sleep alone now. She picks up her phone to check Instagram. The first picture she sees is of Kelley and Hope smiling while sitting down at a picnic table with a taco truck in the background. The caption informing Christen that they were just waiting for their food. She remembers Kelley mentioning that they were moving into their new place this week. 

Christen decides to check in with Tobin since the last two times they chatted their conversations were cut short. Christen leans over to turn on the small lamp on the side table while she waits for Tobin to answer her Skype call. Her hair is a bit of a mess from the hour or so of trying to fall asleep. She removes her hair tie and starts to braid her hair to the side.

“Hey Christen.” Tobin's life had been pretty hectic the last couple of days, it was a relief to finally relax and chat with Christen.

Christen quickly finishes her braid and puts the hair tie on the end before answering. “Hey East Coast. How’s it going? How’s the apartment?” Christen asks.

Tobin laughs softly at the nickname. Christen is almost always the first one to use the nickname during their chats. “The apartment is fantastic, West Coast. Uh, would you like a tour?” Tobin asks as she sits forward preparing to get up.

“Yeah, definitely,” Christen straightens up in bed too after slouching for far too many hours.

Tobin checks the battery icon on her laptop before replying, “Maybe after I charge this thing for a little while longer.” 

“You can show me the room you’re in right now."

“My room. I just finished painting one wall. I was thinking of painting the rest but I think the white walls really makes this pop more.” Tobin stands up and spins around, carefully as to not disconnect the charger and shows Christen her sunset wall. “What do you think?”

“Wow Tobin that looks great.” Christen says, obviously impressed at how beautiful it looks even on a laptop cam. It must be even more magical in person.

“Thanks. So what are you doing up this late? It’s like almost 2 am in Sweden isn’t it?” Tobin asks as she sits back down.

“1:50, I’m just not able to fall asleep alone now. I guess the last couple weeks I got used to sleeping with someone.” Christen says as she looks at the empty side of the bed, Vero’s side.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Tobin asks.

“Vero went out to a bar near by with a friend that just came to town. I wasn’t in the mood to go out tonight so I decided to stay in. Besides she said she wouldn't be out too late." Christen checks the time on the laptop again and sighs. "I'd consider this late though."

"The sun is still out over here and I'm ready to knock out but I need to walk my pup soon."

"How is your dog liking his new home? What’s his name again?” Christen asks.

“Skip, and he is loving it. Let me just clean up this mess and I’ll bring him in to say hi. I don’t want him to tip over any of the paint cans” Tobin sets down her laptop on the floor to clean up the painting supplies and put the cans inside her closet before she goes to the backyard to get Skip. She walks into her room with Skip trailing behind her. He sees the laptop and starts to run towards it.

“Skip, SIT!” Tobin calls out. Skip stops right in front of the laptop and sits down. “Good boy.” She leans down to scratch him behind his ear

Tobin sits down and places the laptop back on her thighs. ”Alright I’m back, Skip this is Christen, Christen this is Skip.” Tobin says as she turns the laptop to the left to show Christen her pup. Skip is sitting down next to Tobin, tongue sticking out while he pants a little. “He is about 4 months now.”

Tobin sees Christen’s face soften instantly. She swears if this girl continues to get even more gorgeous Tobin won’t know what to do with herself. She might just spontaneously combust.

“Aw, he is precious. Hi cute little puppy,” Christen says and Skip’s ears stick up and his tail starts wagging, lightly tapping Tobin’s hip.

Christen waves at Skip then asks Tobin, “So you’re teaching him commands? How’s that going? I remember I tried that with my dogs but you know, they only listen to my dad.” Christen pouts.

Tobin is memorized by the cuteness, she bites on her bottom lip nervously as her heart beats a little faster.

“Yeah, I teach him when I have time. So far he understands ‘SIT’ and ‘DOWN’ pretty well but he is having a bit of trouble with ‘ROLL OVER’. Watch this.” Tobin sets down her laptop to face the empty room and walks several steps away so she is mostly still in frame. She calls Skip over to her and commands him to sit, and to lay down which he does with no problem.

“Now watch what he does when I tell him to roll over.” Tobin says before she looks down at Skip. “Skip, roll over.” Tobin says as she motions with her hand to her dog to roll. Skip just sits up and tilts his head to the side.

“Maybe you have to show him what to do. Get on the floor and roll over Tobin.” Christen says. She remembers her dad had to do that a couple times to show Morena and Khaleesi what to do.

Tobin smiles and looks back at her laptop screen. “Are you giving me commands? Am I your puppy now? And if so are you going to give me treats?”

Christen laughs and the butterflies in Tobin’s stomach go crazy at the sound.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. You know what I mean. Sometimes you just have to show them what to do before you ask them to do it.” Christen pauses then continues. “By the way you would make an adorable puppy. I could totally see you being a beagle in a past life or something. You're so full of energy all the time.”

Tobin lays down on the ground on her stomach and rests her chin on her palm before she replies, “Yeah I can totally see that. What about you? What kind of puppy would you be?”

“Hmm I don’t know. Maybe like a chocolate lab.” Christen says. “Chocolate.. Damn now I want some dark chocolate.”

“Ew, milk chocolate all the way dude! And you are definitely not a chocolate lab. They look like they have sad eyes. I see you more like a… a corgi. Those dogs look happy all the time and every time I see you, you always have an adorable smile on your face.” Tobin realizes a moment too late what she has just let slip out and she feels her face heat up a bit. She is pretty sure Christen can not see the pinkish tint on her cheeks but still she tries to hide behind Skip who is now sitting in front of her waiting for another command.

Christen blushes at the compliment. “Thanks, now roll over.” Christen giggles as Tobin rolls over on the floor before going back to teaching Skip.

“Skip, ‘DOWN’. Ok good boy. Now ‘ROLL OVER’” Tobin says as she rolls over. Skip just leans closer to lick her face. “Guess we can try it again some other time.”

“He’ll get it soon, you did,” Christen chuckles.

Tobin gets up and walks back to sit on the floor with her laptop. “I’m a fast learner. So, do I get a treat?”

“I can’t exactly give you dog treats so what do you want?”

Tobin wants to request a kiss but she knows she should not be flirting with someone already in a relationship so instead she dials it back and says, “How about you buy me some In-n-Out when you get here? Kelley doesn’t like it so I rarely go, unless I go with Kling. Even then our class schedules get in the way when I crave it the most.”

“Yeah I can buy you some In-n-Out, but you’re going to have to wait a while.” Christen says.

“I don’t mind waiting.” But she does. She feels every second pass excruciatingly slow since she last saw Christen in person. “My laptop is charged enough.  Would you like the tour now?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, well you’ve seen my room already. I wanted to finish painting before I start bringing things in.” Tobin gets up with her laptop in her arms facing outward. She spins around slowly as she shows Christen her room one more time before she walks out into the hallway.

“This is the hallway, and over here,” Tobin walks into the room across from hers. “is Kelley’s room.”

Tobin spins around again, “As you can tell Kelley and Hope haven’t finished painting yet. They actually went to the get some tacos. Hopefully they come back with my food soon. I’m starving.”

“Hope is helping you guys move in?” Christen asks.

“Yeah. She’s mostly helping Kelley. You know Kelley wouldn’t be able to reach up to paint the top of the walls.” Tobin jokes. “Hope has a truck so she also picked up our dining table.”

“Is Kelley’s room bigger than yours?” Christen asks.

Tobin turns the laptop toward her before she answers. “Yeah just a bit, I think her closet is a little bigger too. I told her to take the bigger room though.”

“Why?”

“I wanted the room with the ceiling fan. If the AC ever breaks during the summer I still have the fan to keep me cool.” Tobin grins and turns the laptop back around to continue the tour.

Tobin walks back into the hallway and stands in front of what looks like another room. She opens the door to reveal a washer and dryer. She walks into the small laundry room / storage room. “and here is the reason Kelley decided to move in. I’m thinking of getting some racks in here for storage since there is a bit of extra space.”

“Yup, she told me about this. She was always complaining about losing socks at the launder mat.”

Tobin calls out to Skip and he runs out of her room to follow her as she continues the tour. She walks down the hallway and quickly peeks into their shared bathroom before heading to the open space. “Here is the living room and to the far left is the tiny backyard and to the right is the kitchen and here is our dining table.”

“Nice place, but it looks really empty right now. Aside from the mattresses and boxes in the living room.”

Tobin places her laptop on the table and sits down. “We just ordered our couch this morning and I did a little online shopping. I bought a TV, plates, cups, and silverware. It really put a dent in my savings but most of it was money I had saved up for the roadtrip here anyway. I overestimated how much I was going to need. Better safe than sorry I guess.”

“I should bring you guys a house warming gift or something when I drop by in a couple of months. Is there anything you really need?” Christen asks.

“Well Kelley is getting pots and pans next week. I can’t think of anything else we might need.” Tobin says as Skip places his paws on her thighs and tries to hop up to sit on her lap. She looks down at him briefly and pets his head then turns her attention back to her laptop screen.

“How about baking pans?” Christen asks.

“I don’t bake and Kelley would most likely burn this place down if she tried.”

“I love to bake. Maybe I can get a cookie sheet and a muffin pan so I can bake some cookies and muffins for you guys when I start school in the fall. It’s actually a really good stress reliever and Kelley loves my double chocolate chip cookies.” Christen says, her mouth watering just at the mention of chocolate again.

“I love anything with double the chocolate. Does this mean your house warming gift will be you baking us things all the time?” Tobin asks. She can’t stop herself from imagining Christen with an apron on, pulling freshly baked cookies out of the oven. It’s too adorable and she almost slips into a daydream of Christen being one of those 50's housewives.

“Well, yes and no. I can bake for you guys before and after the season just not all the time. I don’t want to be the reason you guys slow down on the field just because you can’t eat my delicious baking in moderation. My junior year in high school I was stressed out most of the weeks so I would bake a bunch. There was so many cookie filled containers in my house I had to start bringing them to school to hand out to my friends. There was one kid in my Spanish class that was in the wrestling team and he would always ask for three and I didn’t really care, I was just trying to get rid of the damn things before the end of the day. I guess he didn’t um.. make weight before a match because the previous two weeks I had brought cookies and muffins. After that I tried to not bake as much and find another… stress reliever.” Christen’s cheeks get a pink tint and she tries to keep herself from smiling.

“What was your new stress reliever?” Tobin asks. She is glad her stress reliever isn’t something that she has to put a limit on. The only problem she comes across is running out of painting supplies or not having a reliable easel. 

Christen hesitates, “Um… You know physical activities…activities you do with a partner…Well, I guess you don’t really need a partner but it’s more fun when you have someone else do the work.”

Tobin gives Christen a confused look before it hits her that Christen just said sex is her alternative stress reliever when she can’t bake. “… Oooh” Tobin says as she nods, feeling her body heat up as soon as it dawned on her. She wants to change the subject before her mind gets carried away and she starts to imagine Christen naked… beads of sweat dripping down her gorgeous skin, and arching her back as she cums.

It’s too late.  Tobin squirms in her chair, pressing her thighs together to get a little pressure on her center but it's not enough. It only makes her wish she had a hand down her pants working her clit. She snaps out of it seconds later and her voice comes out a bit husky, “Um I need to,” She clears her throat before continuing. “..take Skip out before he starts chewing on some of the boxes.”

Christen notices Tobin’s voice and body language completely change. “Go ahead, I should probably get ready for bed anyway. I think I hear a car pulling up to the apartment building. I’m pretty sure it’s Vero.” Christen quickly checks the time on the laptop, time always flew by pretty quick when she talked to Tobin.

“Ok, Good night Christen.” Tobin says, a little crushed, not wanting to say goodbye to Christen but feeling a bit more relaxed after their friendly chat. Although the last bit was veering away from what two strictly platonic friends should be talking about.

“Good night Tobin.” Christen says as she feels her exhaustion come back at full force and yawns before she ends the Skype call.

“Fuck.” Tobin closes her laptop and stays seated for a bit until Skip barks at her taking her out of her mini trance. “Alright buddy lets take you back outside.” She says to him as she gets up from the dinning table.

Tobin opens the glass door to the backyard, feels the fresh air swirl around her heated body and walks out with Skip. She wants to cool down a bit before Hope and Kelley come back. She still has a couple more things to do before she can jump in the shower or else she would have been taking an ice cold shower right now.


	8. Hello?

Kelley walks into the apartment behind Hope, holding the bag of food. She heads to the dinning table and sets the bag down. 

“TOBIN! Come get your food!” Kelley calls out as she starts pulling the foil covered plates out of the bag.

Tobin walks in from the backyard and goes straight to the kitchen sink to wash her hands. “What took you guys so long?”

“The football players decided today was taco night so the whole team was there.” Kelley says as she sits down and takes off the foil from her plate and Hope’s plate.

Hope opens up the fridge and pulls out two cans of Coke, “You want one?” She asks Tobin.

“Actually can you get me a water bottle? I put some in the freezer a while ago.” Tobin says as she removes the foil from her plate and takes a bite of her chicken taco.

Hope hands Tobin a cold water bottle before she sits down next to Kelley and begins  eating her food.

“I talked to Christen a little while ago. Gave her a little tour of the apartment too.” Tobin says before taking another bite.

Kelley wipes her mouth and takes a sip of her drink. “Isn’t she asleep right now?”

Tobin shakes her head no. “She was skyping with me while she waited for Vero to get there.”

“Where was Vero?” Kelley asks before she takes another bite from her taco.

“Bar. With a friend. Christen didn’t want to go.” Tobin wipes her hands on the napkin before opening her water bottle.

“Mmm,” Kelley says as she chews her food. “I’m a bit surprised she was up this late, she usually likes to sleep early so she can do her yoga just as the sun comes up.”

They chat a bit until Tobin’s phone starts going off in her pocket. She puts down her last taco, grabs a napkin to wipe her hands and mouth before she pulls out her phone. She unlocks her it and there are 3 text messages from a number she does not recognize. 

Unknown #: Hey

Unknown #: Why haven’t you texted me in months? Or called?

Kelley notices Tobin looking at her phone, brows furrowed and nervously chewing on her bottom lip. “What is it?”

“Texts, but I don't recognize the number.” 

Hope gets up to throw her and Kelley’s trash in the trash bin under the sink. “Wrong number or maybe it’s an ex?” Hope says as she walks back to sit down again and finish her drink.

Tobin thinks about it for a bit before replying, “If my ex still has my number, which I doubt she does, she would have called. She hated it when I would read the texts but forget to reply.”

Tobin continues to chew on her bottom lip as she sends out a quick text.

TH: Who is this?

Unknown #: Really Tobin? Do you ever check your Facebook messages? 

Her phone starts ringing, she swipes at the screen to answer. “Hello?” Tobin says tentatively, hoping it isn’t her ex. She hasn’t heard from her in over a year and Tobin doesn’t know how she would handle it if Shirley were to come back into her life.

Kelley and Hope look at her waiting to find out who the mystery person is. Kelley mouths,”Who is it?” and Tobin just shrugs as she waits for a response from the person on the line.

_“Seriously Tobin, I’ve sent you like 3 messages on Facebook and you never respond. I get that you are still a little bitter about getting dropped from the roster but you don’t need to take it out on me and Amy. We love you and we just want you to get your shit together and get back on the team.”_

Tobin’s eyes open wide in surprise when she recognizes the voice on the other end, “Lauren?”

Hope turns to Kelley, “Who is Lauren? Is that her ex?”

Kelley leans in closer so she doesn’t have to speak too loud and disrupt Tobin’s call, “No, it’s her old teammate from when Tobin played in the U-17 WNT.”

Hope looks at Tobin on the phone as a smile spreads across Tobin’s face. “She plays for the national team?”

“Not the senior national team. She was only in the youth teams.” Kelley can already tell Hope is about to ask why. “I’ll tell you about it later ok?”

Hope nods and finishes her drink.

_“Yeah, dork. It’s Lauren and you would know that if you had actually read the Facebook messages.”_

Tobin crumples her napkin and drops it on top of her plate as she replies “Sorry I’ve been busy with school and I just moved into an apartment today-”

Lauren cuts her off,  _“I’m busy with school too but I’m still trying to make the effort to keep in touch with you. It’s only a matter of time before you make your way back onto the team, I have no doubt about that. I know you were devastated when you found out Shirley cheated. I know things were a bit difficult for you after the break up but I want you to know I'm here for you.”_

“Ok hold on Lauren.” Tobin turns to Kelley as she mutes her phone. “It was Lauren from my U-17 team who was texting me. I haven’t talked to her in months, I’m going to take this call outside.”

“You can stay here. Me and Hope are going to finish painting my room.” Kelley says as she gets up and grabs Hope’s hand. “Come on babe.”

They head for the hallway but Tobin decides to walk out to the backyard. She sits down on the loose bricks that made a little makeshift patio. She takes a deep breath.

Tobin doesn’t know if she is quite ready for this conversation. She had been trying to avoid it for most of the summer. Lauren and Amy are the only ones who really know why Tobin was no longer going to the camps.

Kelley only knew that Tobin found out about Shirley hooking up with her college roommate but Tobin didn't tell her that she was so heart broken over it that she started drinking heavily soon after. Or that she found out about the infidelity during one of the camps and began sneaking out to drink and that Lauren helped her hide her problem once she found out so because she didn't want Tobin to get kicked out.

She drank to forget she ever loved Shirley. To forget all the promises they made to each other, she drank herself numb. After a while she slowed down but by then the damage was done. She fucked up her opportunity by not giving her absolute best in the last camp and is now paying the price for her recklessness.

Tobin touches the screen to unmute her phone. “Sorry I was being an asshole when the whole thing with Shirley happened. I don’t think I’ve thanked you for covering for me all the times you did.” Tobin says as Skip comes out of his dog house to lay his head on her lap.

_“It’s what friends do, we look out for each other. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to make it better, but if you ever go through anything similar please talk to me first and let me help in any way I can. I just want you back on the team. Me and Amy miss you and the rest of the team misses you too.”_

“I miss you guys too.” Tobin says as she pets Skips head and he gets up to sit down on her lap. "So I heard Jrue gave you a promise ring this week. Seems to me it happened rather fast."

_"Yes. If you like it, then you put a ring on it. It did happen really fast though but we plan to wait another year before we move in together. We still need our own space. What about you? You seeing anyone new?"_

"No, nope, no one."

_"What's her name?"_

“There's no one Cheney.”

_“Come on Tobin tell me. You can't keep something like this a secret from me. You know better. Sooner or later you'll tell me"_

Tobin sighs. “Ok fine I’ll tell you,” She knows she needs to talk to someone about the crush before it consumes her and it becomes harder to get over. Tobin looks behind into the living room to make sure Kelley and Hope are still in the room painting. “There is a girl but ...it’s just a crush. It wont go anywhere.”

_“Why? You’re such a great catch.”_

“I know right!” Tobin laughs. “But she’s with someone already.”

_“Oh. Well who is it? Do I know her?”_

“No, you don’t know her, I just met her this year. It’s Kelley’s best friend. We talked a bit during the summer before I moved to the west coast.” 

_“Kelley is the girl who said I fouled her last time we played soccer in your backyard, right?”_

“Yeah that’s her. She was with me when I drove out here in the beginning of August and now we're roommates.”

_“I read your Facebook post about getting kicked out of the dorms. Is that girl living with you guys too?”_

“Christen? No, I would literally be on edge 24/7 if she did. She’s not even in the US right now.”

“ _Is she not going to school with you guys?_ ”

“Not yet. Christen will be starting her freshman year next year. Um she is actually in Sweden with her girlfriend.”  Skip sits up and licks Tobin’s hand. She scratches him under his chin and closes his eyes in content.

“ _Her girlfriend is Swedish?_ ”

“No, she is actually from Spain but she lives in Sweden. Christen actually decided to take a year off to spend more time with her.” Tobin says a bit sadly. Skip goes into his dog house and comes out with his favorite toy, a rubber chicken, and drops it on Tobin’s lap.

“ _Oh damn so it’s **that** serious_.”

Tobin picks up the rubber chicken and puts it back in Skip’s mouth before replying, “...Yeah it is so I need to get it in my head that I don't have a sliver of a chance with her.”

*

Christen turns off her laptop, sets it on the nightstand, and gets out of bed to turn on the light in the room before walking over to the window that has the view of the street below. She pulls back the curtain and looks down at two people hugging really tightly. She can't tell if it's Vero or not.

Christen walks back to the nightstand to get her phone. She calls Vero as she walks back to the window. She lowers her phone when she hears the people below laughing and looks out the window just as one of them plants a kiss on the other. They take a few steps back and take out their phone. It lights up their face and Christen feels her body go cold all of a sudden. Her hands shake and she brings her phone back up to hold it against her ear.

“ _Hello?..Did you hang up?.._   _Chris, what are you still doing up?_ ” Vero says a little out of breath. Her friend trying to hook her finger on the belt loop of Vero’s jeans to pull her closer but Vero swats her hand away.

Christen tries to hold back tears and hopes her voice comes out sounding normal. She responds dejected and hurt, “I..I couldn’t fall asleep without you. But I see you’re doing just fine without me.”

“ _What?_ ”

This time when Christen answers she feels the rage heating up her body as she sees Vero's friend still trying to pull Vero closer and Vero not doing much to stop her. “Look up you fuckin’ asshole.” She says a bit louder.

Vero looks up to see the light turned on in her bedroom and Christen standing there with the phone on her ear. She pushes her friend away one final time. 

“ _Shit. Christen let me explain-_ ”

Christen cuts her off, “Just get up here quick. I  am not doing this over the damn phone with your “ _friend_ ” standing out there with you.” Christen hangs up and sees Vero not moving with the phone still up on her ear for a couple seconds before bringing it down and staring back up at her. 

Vero’s friend calls for a cab and Vero sends a quick text to Christen.

VB: She’s drunk. Called a cab. I’ll head up there when the cab comes.

Christen places her phone on top of her laptop without replying to Vero’s last text. She heads into the bathroom to grab a few tissue papers to wipe away the tears. She walks out a couple minutes later still mad but no longer crying.

Vero stands in front of the dresser taking off her earrings and placing them inside the jewelry box. Christen clears her throat, and it startles Vero. She almost drops her bracelet that she then places down before turning to face Christen.

“Christen, I’m so sorry.” Vero says as she starts to walk towards Christen.

“Don’t say anything.”

 Vero closes her mouth and waits a few moments for Christen to speak again. 

Christen sighs. “Just get ready for bed. I don’t want you walking around the room getting ready to sleep when I’m trying to have a conversation with you. I need your full attention for this.” Christen sits on the edge of the bed on her side facing the bathroom while Vero grabs her PJs and heads into the bathroom to wash off the make up and brush her teeth.

When Vero comes out of the bathroom, she doesn’t sit next to Christen instead she stands a couple feet away, in front of her. She waits for Christen to say something but Christen stays seated with her arms crossed, clutching a tissue in one hand.

Vero’s head hangs down as she speaks, “Mi Amor I’m-”

“No. No terms of endearment. I’ll sit here quietly, I'll listen to the whole story because I _KNOW_  you’re not stupid enough to hook up with someone, with me just a couple feet away. I’ll sit here and I’ll listen to you explain why I just saw your ‘friend’ kissing you but don’t call me ‘‘Honey’ ‘Amor’ ‘Cariño’. Nothing like that, got it? This is something you can’t just sweet talk your way out of Veronica.” Christen says harshly and Vero lifts her head up to look at her. She gulps when she sees Christen with her eyebrows furrowed in anger. Vero had never seen Christen this angry before.

“I know. Christen, I’m not making light of what happened outside and I won’t sweet talk.” Vero says gingerly. “I’m sorry-” Vero pleads but Christen cuts her off.

“Sorry it happened or sorry you got caught?” Christen tried only a little to actually listen but she is tired and frustrated and doesn’t have much self control at the moment. She doesn’t have the energy to restrain herself from talking back.

“I thought you said you were going to listen?”

Christen drops her hands to her lap and her hands ball up into fists. Her short nails digging into her palm, not breaking the skin but leaving light red marks behind when she opens her hands. She looks down at them as she speaks. “I’m just so fucking pissed Veronica. I come here to spend time with **MY GIRLFRIEND** and you do this! I have the right to be mad.”

“I’m not saying you don’t but you want to know what happened and I can’t tell you if you won’t let me talk. So can you just let me explain what actually happened?” Vero tries to plead again.

“Go ahead.” Christen says, she feels angry tears threatening to spill out and tries to blink them away but is unsuccessful.

“Thank you.” Vero exhales as she sits down with Christen. Vero places a hand on Christen’s cheek and notices her tear swollen eyes as she wipes a way a tear with her thumb.“I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Christen turns away and Vero drops her hand down to her lap. Christen wipes the tear from her other cheek as she speaks softly, “Just tell me you're not cheating on me. Tell me you haven't been messing around behind my back.” 

“It was just one kiss. She drinks and she becomes really flirty. I didn't think she would actually kiss me." Vero says as she plays with the hem of her PJ shorts.

"Well she did and from what I saw, you didn't do anything to stop it from happening!"

"I stepped away from her!"

"After, you step away after she kissed you!"

"OK. I didn't do enough but I was having so much fun with a friend I hadn’t seen in weeks, I didn't think she would do something like that or that you would see it.”

Christen stands up and steps away from Vero. "So you're saying if I hadn't seen it happen you wouldn't have told me about it?"

Vero takes a deep breath in. 

Christen glares at Vero. "Would you have told me about it if I didn't see it myself? "

Vero shrugs. "Probably not. I mean it was just a kiss and look how worked up you've gotten over it. If I knew this is how you would react I wouldn't tell you about it."

Christen begins pacing back and forth. "Wow...Ok. Has there been things like this that you haven't told me about? Like last month, when Jenni dropped by, did anything happen between you two?"

"What!? No! She was just stopping by before she headed to Spain for her first national team game. We only went out for drinks to celebrate. I asked you to come but you wanted to Skype with Kelley and Tobin instead."

Christen crosses her arms. "Am I going to have to start worrying every time you go out or every time we are apart?"

Vero stands up. "You don't trust me?"

"Honestly? Right now I don't." Christen walks out of the room.

"Christen!" Vero calls out then follows her out into the living room.

"Just give me some space please."

"Come back to the room. We don't have to talk. I'll shut my stupid mouth. Just get in bed please. I know you're tired and I wouldn't want you to fall asleep out here alone."

*

Christen stretches her arm behind her expecting to feel Vero but all she feels is the cool bed. She quickly sits up and looks around the room until her eyes fall on Vero’s pillow. She picks up the blue post-it and reads.  
_‘Went out for my morning run. Tried to wake you. I’ll be back in an hour._

_Te quiero VB’_

Christen crumples the paper and falls back onto her pillow. She lays there in silence for a few minutes until her stomach starts to growl and she gets up to head to the small kitchen as she replays last nights events in her head. The yelling, the accusations, and then the utter exhaustion that lured them back into the bed.

Christen is barely pulling out food from the fridge when she hears a loud knock at the door. She rushes to the door thinking Vero probably forgot her keys again. Christen opens the door and is met with a bouquet of red roses.

Christen's voice comes out low and soft. “Vero we need to talk-”

The flowers are lowered, it’s Jasmine. In her other hand she has a bag with take-out containers.

“Sorry, it’s just me. I wanted to apologize for last night. Can I come in? I brought you breakfast.” Jasmine says as she hands Christen the flowers and heads to the kitchen. She places the bag on the counter and sits on one of the stools.

Christen follows her into the kitchen as she begins to protest, “I don’t have anything to say to you. Veronica isn’t here so could you please leave.” She leaves the flowers on the counter with the bag of food.

“I know. She texted me just as she was getting ready for her run. She told me about last night. I just want to assure you that it was not her fault. It was mine. I drank too much and when the fresh air hit me as we left the bar I completely blacked out.”

Christen crosses her arms. “So you don’t remember kissing her outside this apartment? I’m suppose to believe you didn’t know what you were doing because you blacked out?”

“Wait! I did what?” Jasmine sounds shocked. “Vero just told me I tried to make a move on her and that you saw. She didn’t tell me anything about a kiss.”

Jasmine gets off the stool and takes quick strides towards Christen. She places both hands on Christen’s shoulders as she stares into her eyes and speaks, “Christen, I promise that I honestly didn’t know what I was doing last night. Please don’t be mad at Vero. I’m sure she is devastated that you saw me make an ass of myself.”

“I don’t know if I can just forgive either of you so quickly.” Christen says as she backs away.

“You don’t have to forgive me. You can hate me all you want but don’t stay mad at Vero. She really loves you. She never shuts up about how great you are.” Jasmine continues to plead. "Please forgive her and I wont hold it against you if you don’t like me from now on.”

“I don’t know.” Christen steps back.

“Please Christen. Just give her a chance to show you how much she really cares for you. I’ll stay out of your way the rest of the time I’m here.”

The front door opens and they both turn to look at Vero walk in drenched in sweat.

“What’s going on here?”

Jasmine looks at Christen and silently pleads.

“Nothing, Jasmine just came to apologize and now she is leaving."

Jasmine mouths a ‘Thank you’ and finally turns to smile at Vero. She looks back at Christen “Again, I’m really sorry. I should leave you two alone to make up.” She starts to walk out but stops abruptly and turns back to them. “Um it’s probably not a good time to ask but… Um Vero are you still going to drop me off at the airport in a couple weeks?”

Vero looks at Christen. Christen closes her eyes, sighs and nods her head yes.

“I guess so. I’ll uh… I’ll talk to you later.”

Jasmine leaves and Vero steps closer to Christen. “Are you still mad at me?”

Christen walks over to the counter and grabs a bowl for the cereal she was planning on eating before she was interrupted. She grabs the bag Jasmine brought and throws it in the trash.

“Giving me the silent treatment?” Vero follows Christen around the kitchen as she walks to the fridge to get the milk.

Christen sets the milk down next to her bowl of cereal and turns around to face Vero. “I’m still mad, but I’m no longer furious. Just give me some space please.”

Vero backs away. “Ok take all the time you need.” She begins to turn around. “Wait, Christen. Can I just..” She leans in to give Christen a kiss but Christen turns and the kiss lands on her cheek.

“Don't. I can't kiss you right now."

"That's fine."

"Go. Go shower, you stink.” Christen says and goes back to preparing her cereal.

“I love you” Vero whispers.

Christen only replies with an “Mhmm.”


	9. MIA

Was There Ever A Time...

Christen wakes up and for a moment she forgets where she is until she feels her neck stiffen. The pullout couch has the worst mattress she has ever slept on and she almost wishes she had taken Vero’s offer to let her take the bedroom.

Christen sits up and massages her neck and checks the time on her phone. _7am._ She hears noise coming from the bedroom and quickly gets out of bed. Vero would be out any minute and Christen is not in the mood to talk or try to go back to sleep until Vero leaves the apartment. She knows she shouldn’t be avoiding her girlfriend but it’s way too damn early for them to struggle through a conversation. It had become quite difficult for them to get back that ease they always had in their conversations so Christen puts the mattress back into the couch and sits down as she calls her mom.

_“Christen? What’s wrong baby? I was just about to fall asleep.”_

“Sorry mom, I forgot about the time difference. I just really missed you.”

_“Aw baby, I miss you too.”_

Vero opens the bedroom door in her workout gear, ready for her morning run. Christen loved to accompany her but she stopped going after she started sleeping in the living room.

“Good morning,” Vero says.

Christen turns to Vero and coolly replies, “Morning.”

Vero stays in the doorway a bit longer, like she is waiting to get a little more but when she doesn’t she slowly makes her way into the kitchen for a snack.

_“Is Vero with you? Tell her I said hi.”_

“Yeah but she is getting ready to go out for her morning run.”

_“Well how has your trip been so far?”_

Christen pulls the small fleece blanket over her legs and gets comfortable. She continues to talk to her mom for a few more minutes until Vero is long gone and she finally feels like she has the courage to ask her mom for some advice.

“Mom, can I ask you a question?” Christen asks hesitantly.

A sleepy ‘Mhmm’ comes through the phone’s earpiece and Christen takes a deep breath in.

“…Was there ever a time.. that you maybe thought dad was..” Christen trails off, “You know what, forget it. It doesn’t matter. I’ll let you go to bed. I have to start packing soon anyway. Vero said she was taking me to Norway for two days for some festival that starts today. I’ll call you later. Love you Mom.”

_“Ok honey. Go have fun in Norway. Love you.”_

After Christen hangs up she stays on the couch a little while longer. She stares at her small luggage on the other side of the room until the sound of the door opening startles her and she gets up.

* * *

 

Vero and Christen walk side by side, stopping every few feet to admire a new ice sculpture. They stop in front of a sculpture of a bird in flight. Vero brings her hot chocolate up to her mouth and takes a small sip. Beside her, Christen tries to warm her fingers up by cupping her hands over her mouth and blowing hot air.

“I offered to get you a cup of hot chocolate when the line was still small. Even if you didn’t want to drink it, it could have kept your hands warm.” Vero says as they move on to the next sculpture.

“You should have told me where you were taking me so I could have brought my gloves on this trip. If I knew one of the festival you were taking me to was a snow festival I would have brought more warm clothes.” Christen says, her bottom lip trembling a bit.

“Sorry. Here, hold it.” Vero hands Christen her hot chocolate, very aware of how oddly Christen grabs the cup to avoid accidentally brushing her hand against Vero’s. “I just wanted it to be a surprise.”

“You’re just full of surprises this month.” Christen says sarcastically under her breath.

Vero grabs Christen’s arm to turn her towards her and Christen stiffens. “Are you talking about what happened earlier this month? Chris can we please just leave that in the past?”

“It’s not like I’m not trying but more often than not when I get the urge to kiss you I think back to that night. It still hurts. I think I need more time.” Christen’s hands no longer feel numb so she hands Vero the cup of hot chocolate back and starts walking, leaving Vero to jog a little to catch up to her.

“How much more time? Is there anything I could do-”

“The only way I would be able to put it in the past is if I never see or hear from her again but I know that won’t happen. She's one of your closest friends and I’m not going to ask you to never talk to her again. All I am asking you for is time, give me time to work through it on my own so we can go back to how we were.”

“Yeah I can do that. Is there anything else you need? Anything that will speed up your process?” Vero looks down at the steam coming out of her cup. “I miss sleeping with you in my arms. I..I miss touching you.”

Christen’s eyes are now glued on the sculpture in front of them but it’s a blank stare. She thinks back to the first night she refused to get into bed with Vero and chose to sleep on the couch’s lumpy pullout mattress in the living room.

Christen couldn’t fall asleep in Vero’s arms anymore, every time she did Vero would press her lips to Christen’s neck and that would cause her to replay that damn kiss over and over again until exhaustion took her out. Once she was out her subconscious would take over. It tried to help her work through it with weird dreams but they just left her even more conflicted the next morning. Exhausted and conflicted.

Christen aches for a touch from her girlfriend that doesn’t make her pull away from the hands she once felt at home in. She decides it’s time to start off with little things and she reaches for Vero’s hand. Vero gives Christen a wide smile as their fingers interlock. Christen gives her hand a light squeeze before she asks, “Can you just keep her out of our little bubble a bit while longer?”

*

Tobin sits on the edge of her bed as she slips her shoes on and ties them while thinking of a new way to say ‘hey’ or anything that will get Christen to reply to her texts. 

It’s been almost over two weeks since she got a response and over a month since they had a real conversation. After the first two days with no texts or skype calls from Christen, Tobin practically worried herself sick trying to figure out if she did something wrong. She even asked Kelley if she had heard from Christen but Kelley wasn’t being replied to often either and she was ok with it because she just figured Christen was too busy with Vero to reply to every single text and because she herself was busy with her own girlfriend so she didn’t notice her text go unanswered for days at a time. 

Tobin decides a recent picture of her growing pup has a better chance of getting a reply from Christen than a ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ text.

Tobin slings her backpack onto her shoulder as she walks into the living room, with her long board under her arm while she trying to quickly fasten her watch. When she looks up she is met with a sad Kelley slumped against the couch, wrapped in a big comforter shoving huge spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth.

“Uh. Kel is something wrong?” Tobin asks as she leaves her long board leaning against the couch, slips off her backpack and sits down across from Kelley.

Kelley stabs the spoon into the middle of the ice cream so it’s sticking straight up and wipes her mouth with the collar of her shirt.

“It’s our first Valentine’s day and Hope isn’t going to be here because she has a stupid game that weekend.”

“Oh, sorry Kel. It sucks but that’s college sports, well any major sport actually. One time I missed my own birthday party when I was with the u-15 team because our flight got canceled.” Tobin says as she pats Kelley’s knee to try and comfort her friend.

“I know it’s part of it but it doesn’t make it suck any less.”

Tobin gets up and takes the ice cream away from Kelley. “Ok, you need to stop with this. You have class in an hour so get up and shower. I have a study group to get to but if you want I can leave it a bit early and I can cook anything you want for dinner tonight.”

Tobin pulls the spoon out of the ice cream as she walks to the sink. She puts the ice cream back in the freezer and turns to Kelley who is slowly getting off the couch.

“I want garlic bread and spaghetti, lots of it.”

Tobin walks back to the couch to grab her backpack and long board. “I’ll see you back here in a couple hours then.”

*

Tobin is sitting in the library with a few books on the table in front of her and her study group occupying the other three chairs. Her phone buzzes on the table and they all look up at her a bit annoyed.

“Sorry, I thought I had it on silent.” Tobin whispers.

For a moment she almost doesn’t want to look at it so she can just keep thinking a little while longer that Christen had finally replied but she knows that at this time Christen is probably still sleeping. She looks down at the text notification and unlocks her phone.

HS: Hey Tobin can you meet me at your apartment in like 20 mins?

TH: I’m with my study group but we're almost done. Give me 30 mins?

HS: Yeah ok.

As soon as Tobin is done packing her things she quickly exits the library and hops on her long board, pushing against the pavement harder with each step trying to get all the speed she could to get home faster. The cool February air hitting her face and making her eyes water. When she finally gets there Hope is standing outside with a huge box in her hand.

“Hey Hope, what’s up?” Tobin says as she steps off the board to kick it up. She grabs it and leans it against the brick exterior of the apartment as she pulls her keys out of her backpack.

“I wanted to ask for a huge favor, it’s a bit last minute.” Hope says as she grips the box a little tighter.

Tobin unlocks the door, steps to the side to Hope walk in first and follows her in. Hope sets the box down on the dining table and turns to Tobin who is walking towards the laundry room to put her long board away.

Hope starts off,“I won’t be here for Valentine’s Day so-”

Tobin interrupts her, she needs this conversations to go by faster so she can head to the grocery store. “Kelley told me, she is really bummed about it. Especially since it will be your first.” Tobin yells out as she places her board on one of the racks. She walks out on to the hallway as Hope is pulling things out of the box.

“I’m bummed too so I thought we could do something before I leave. I wanted to ask you… If you could not be around until tomorrow?” Hope asks sheepishly.

“Wow Hope, kicking me out of my own home?” Tobin jokes.

Hope hands Tobin a piece of paper. “It’s short notice I know but I got you and Skip a hotel room for the night. It’s all on my card so feel free to get room service since I’m putting you out for the night, but don’t go too crazy.”

Tobin quickly skims through it. “Not even Skip gets to stay?” She asks as she folds the paper and shoves it into her back pocket.

“I know he likes to be taken out for walks at night and …well me and Kelley are going to be a bit busy by then.”

“Ok.. don’t need all the details. I’m going to go pack my things then and you can continue to do what ever you are doing.” Tobin says as she motions to the big box on the table.

Tobin makes her way to her room to quickly pack some clothes and heads into the bathroom to grab a couple more things. As she walks into the laundry room she hears the front door close. She grabs Skips leash and a few toys that she shoves into her small suitcase. When she walks out into the hallway the scent of roses hits her nostrils.

Hope is arranging a huge bouquet of red roses on the table then begins to light a few candles she had taken out of the box earlier.

Tobin opens the sliding door and Skip runs inside and jumps on the couch, he settles down as Tobin clips the leash on.

“It’s looking great but do me a favor and don’t burn my home down.” Tobin says as she gives Skip a small treat once he gets off the couch.

“I promise I won’t, these are the only candles I brought.” Hope says as she lights the last candle and begins to move them around the table so they form a small heart.

Tobin walks over to the table and peeks into the box. “So what else do you have in this magical box of yours?”

“The candles, food I plan on cooking for Kelley and 2 presents.”

“Ok well I’ll get out of your hair and let you finish setting up. It all looks very lovely so far, I’m sure she is going to love it.”

*

Hope turns around and away from the stove as she hears the door open. She lowers the heat and walks over to a stunned Kelley.

“Hey babe, I know the rose petals on the floor are a bit too much but I over estimated how much I would actually need.” Hope reaches for Kelley’s bag and sets it on the couch. “The food is almost ready, I made Chicken Parmesan.”

“Wha-What’s-” Kelley stutters.

“Early Valentine’s day since I going to be MIA on the actual day. I wanted to do something to make up for my future absence.” Hope grabs the chair and pulls it back. “Sit. I’ll bring you your food in a bit.”

Hope walks back to the stove and turns it off as Kelley looks around the room taking everything in. Hope serves them both and places the cover back on the pan. Her hands nervously shaking a bit as she sets the plates down on the table.

“I got you something. I’ll be back.” Hope says then walks into the laundry where she had stored the box.

Hope returns with her hands behind her back and a sweet smile on her face as she approaches Kelley. She inhales slowly through her nose and exhales even slower through her mouth trying calm her nerves so she can remember all the things she wants to say.

“Well what is it?”

“Hold on, I got a little speech prepared.” Hope clears her throat before she continues, “I know we have only been dating for a few months and we talked about not dropping the L word if we didn’t mean it but I have been wanting to tell you that I love you since the morning I woke up in your arms after a pretty rough loss. You stayed up with me, just talking and trying to rid me of the shitty feeling after that game and you did. Future disappointments wont bring me down so much as long as I have you by my side to cheer me up. Kelley, I love you and I’m so glad that you decided to be a little shit that day in the gym because I wouldn’t have had the guts to go up to you on my own.”

Hope brings her hands to her front and presents Kelley with her gift. It’s a small stuffed toy, a squirrel holding a plastic acorn. Hope sets it down on the table in front of Kelley and sits down.

“Open it.” Hope says as she pushes the stuffed toy towards Kelley.

Kelley reaches out and pops open the top of the plastic acorn. She flips the toy over and a thin necklace falls out onto her palm.

“The key has a capital ‘H’ engraved on the back and your birth stone in the front.” Hope says. “Do..do you like it?”

Kelley turns it over and lightly feels the ‘H’ with her thumb. “I love it, and I love you. Honestly this,” Kelley gestures to the whole room, the flowers, balloons and candles, “is the cutest thing anyone has ever done for me. I feel a little bad though. I didn’t get you anything yet.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Hope smiles. "I'm just glad you like the gift."

“Are you staying over tonight?” Kelley asks.

“Yup.”

“Great,” Kelley pulls out her phone and quickly finds Tobin’s number.

“What are you doing?” Hope asks before bringing the glass of water to her lips to take a sip. Her nerves causing her throat to dryout as soon as she finished her speech.

“Gona give Tobin a heads up.” Kelley says as she begins to type out a message.

Hope picks up her knife and fork to start cutting into her chicken. “I took care of that already. I sent her and Skip to a hotel for the night, my treat of course, I wasn’t about to kick your roommate out just like that."

“Wow. You thought of everything and had it all planned out perfectly. So uh quick question.” Kelley puts the necklace back and sets the stuffed animal to the side. “This.” She lifts up the plate slightly. “will still be good in a couple hours? Because I’m kind of hungry for something else.”

Hope looks down at the piece of chicken on her fork that she was about to put in her mouth and back at Kelley who had already taken off her coat and was now unbuttoning her shirt. Hope drops her utensils back on the plate and stands up. “Who cares.”

Kelley stands up and jumps on Hope who quickly catches her. Kelley wraps her legs around Hope’s waist and starts kissing her. Hope pulls back a bit and Kelley starts to kiss down her jaw, when she reaches Hope’s neck she begins to nip a little. 

“No marks this time, I have a game remember.” Hope says as she hoists Kelley up a little higher and walks the short distance to Kelley’s room.

“How about a compromise? No marks where anyone can see.” Kelley says as she unhooks her legs from Hope’s waist and lands on the floor with a small thud.

“Mmm, last time you said that you still left me with a huge mark on my inner thigh.” Hope says as she begins to unfasten her belt and unbutton her jeans.

“It’s not my fault your Rugby shorts are super small-” Kelley replies as her hands reach down to undo Hope’s zipper.

“They’re not that small.”

“Smaller than my soccer shorts, so yeah they are super small.”

Hope unbuttons the rest of the buttons on Kelley’s shirt. “Compromise. You can mark me when I get back. They will surely fade by our next game.”

“And what if they don’t?” Kelley says as her shirt falls to the floor and she shivers a bit as the cold air hits her bare back. Kelley turns her back to Hope and pulls her hair over to the side.

“Make-up?” Hope unhooks Kelley’s bra and lets her hands linger on her back a little longer. She turns Kelley around and pulls her in for a kiss before sliding the bra straps off Kelley’s shoulders and letting it fall to the floor with the previously discarded shirt.

“Mmm, can we stop talking about this and just..” Kelley pulls Hope’s jeans down a little and slips her hand into Hope’s panties.

Hope closes her eyes, bites down on her bottom lip and nods her head yes as Kelley starts to rub her clit.

*

Tobin walks out of the bathroom after her long shower and heads to the small desk to turn on her laptop to do a bit of studying. Skip gets up from the floor and moves a bit further into the middle of the room as the setting sun begins to hit his face and disturb his sleep.

Tobin plays around with a few playlist on her laptop until she has an updated pump up playlist for game days, and a workout playlist now that the season was over. Her ipod finishes updating with the two new playlists and she sets her flashcards down so she can start closing all the open programs. She decides to check if Christen is online one last time as she waits for the hamburger she ordered to be delivered to her room. Just as Tobin is about to give up on speaking with Christen and shut off the laptop she gets the Skype call she has been waiting for.

“Hey Christen.” Tobin greets Christen with a smile so wide her eye crinkle. She is flooded with joy as she finally sees the face she had been missing immensely but her curiosity as to why Christen had barely replied to her messages bubbles up seconds later. After her talk with Kelley she knew Christen wasn’t avoiding her on purpose but it still hurt a bit whenever a text or skype call would go unanswered and she wants to know why.

“Hey East Coast. How’s it going?” Christen says cheerfully. “Thanks for the cute puppy update. He's getting big. How is he doing?"

“Good-”

Tobin is interrupted by a knock at the door and a deep voice calling out, “Room service!”

Tobin tells Christen to hold on so she can answer the door. She comes back with a silver platter that she sets on the desk.

“Sorry about that, I had ordered room service a little while ago.” Tobin grabs one of the small fries, dips it into the ketchup and pops it into her mouth. “So what’s up?”

Christen looks at Tobin a bit puzzled, “Room service? I thought the room looked a bit different from your bedroom. What are you doing in a hotel?”

Tobin is glad their recent spotty communications hasn’t made them revert back to the shy, awkward conversations they had when Kelley first made them talk last summer. When she was hellbent on getting ‘East Coast’ and ‘West Coast’ to get along so neither of them would feel like the third wheel once they were all on the same coast.

 “Oh right, um Hope won’t be here for Valentine’s Day so she decided to surprise Kelley by doing something for her back at the apartment and she wanted a bit of privacy so she got me and Skip a room for the night. They are so adorable it’s a bit sickening.” Tobin picks up her can of soda and pours it into the glass with ice.

“What was she going to do?”

“Well she bought a bunch of roses, she brought some candles and she said she was going to cook.” Tobin turns when she hears water sloshing as Skip starts to drink water from his bowl Tobin had set near the bathroom door. 

“Oh and she said she got her a present but I didn’t see it.” Tobin says as she turns back to her laptop and her food.

“That’s so cute, I can’t wait to actually see them together with my own eyes. They must still be in the honeymoon phase.” 

“Yup and now they spend so much more time together since the season is over for me and Kel.” 

“I’m sorry you guys didn’t win the championship this year, maybe next year."

"Can we not talk about soccer? I feel like I haven’t Skyped with you in months. I want to hear about your adventures abroad." Tobin takes a small sip of her drink.

"It wasn't months."

"I think the last time we talked was..” Tobin drifts off as she pretends she is trying to remember the last time they Skyped but she knows exactly when it was. She knows the exact number of weeks, days, hours and even minutes.

Christen remembers that day like it happened yesterday and the last couple of days she had been able to forget about it. It didn’t hurt as much as it did the first time when she saw Jasmine lock lips with HER girlfriend. She was beginning to forgive her for it but she still didn’t fully trust her and frankly now she just found her annoying. She was hoping to forget the fact that at this moment Vero was dropping off Jasmine at the airport by talking with Tobin who always managed to make her laugh and made her feel a type of calmness she’s never felt before. It worked, she felt calm but it was still in the back of her mind. 

“Um some time in January, so only a couple weeks. So what did you do with all your free time when I was MIA?” Christen asks.

“Yeah, that was a bit weird. Um..di..did I do something to upset you?” Tobin asks as she sets down her hamburger before she can take her first bite. She knows it will get cold but her need to know is much greater than her hunger at the moment.

“NO, no…” Christen decides to tell Tobin part of the reason she hasn’t been answering her calls. She doesn’t want to talk about that night with Tobin just yet. She wants to keep Tobin as her safe space for a little while longer. She had told Kelley a very brief rundown of that night but also reassured her that everything was now fine even if it wasn’t completely fine. There was still a few things they were working out.

“Vero has kept me out of the apartment and away from any good wifi for a couple weeks. She’s been taking me hiking and to all these amazing festivals before we head back to California. I haven’t had the time to reply to everyone. I haven’t even had the chance to really talk to Kelley either.”

“Oh, ok.” Tobin says and picks up her hamburger again. Tobin thinks, Kelley was right and she worried for nothing.

“So, what have you been up to?” Christen asks.

“Well I’ve been trying to find an easel so I can start painting more often but so some are too expensive or they look like they will break at any moment. So nothing really exciting on this end. Tell me about your weeks of non-stop fun.” Tobin says then takes a bite of her hamburger before it loses even more of its heat. She can’t help but let a low moan out.

“That good huh?” Christen laughs.

Tobin keeps her eyes closed as she savors the hamburger and nods, “Mhm.”

“Well then enjoy your hamburger while I tell you about all the places I went to these last couple of weeks.” Christen says and Tobin continues to chew as she gives Christen a thumbs up for her to proceed.

Christen talks while Tobin eats. It’s the most easy and simple Skype chat they’ve had. As Tobin finishes her last bite she wonders if their interactions will be the same when Christen gets back, if it will feel this easy or if it will be a bit difficult because she might still be struggling with the little crush by then.

If anything it might have gotten worse or else she wouldn’t have been as messed up as she was when Christen wasn’t responding to her texts.

*

 _“Tobin? Why are you calling this late?”_ Lauren croaks.

“Shit! Sorry Lauren, I forgot you’re three hours ahead of me. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Tobin stops walking and checks the time on her phone. It’s about to be 10 pm in a couple minutes but by now Lauren has already been asleep for a few hours. “It can totally wait till tomorrow.”

_“It’s ok. I’m up now. What’s bothering you?”_

Tobin crosses the street with Skip as they head back to the hotel.

“You sure?”

_“Yeah, come on Tobin, spill.”_

Tobin reaches the hotel’s courtyard and sits on one of the benches. “Ok, well you know I’ve been trying to get over this crush.”

_“How’s that going so far?”_

“Awful.” Tobin sighs.

 _“Why?”_ There’s a pause and Lauren cautiously asks, _“You’re not binge drinking again are you?”_

Tobin leans back on the bench and lets her head hang back as she looks up at the night sky. “No. I don't want fuck shit up like that again. I just…I haven’t had much luck getting over my crush, in fact I think it might have gotten worse. I need you to tell me what I should do because obviously my methods aren’t working.” 

_“Well have you tried not talking to her. I mean it can’t be that hard to avoid her, she’s in a different continent. Literally an ocean away.”_

“Really? That's your advice? Avoiding her is no longer an option for me. We’re friends and it would be odd if I just stop talking to her out of nowhere. Plus I live with her best friend. She’s probably going to be over all the time once she starts school.” Tobin thinks back the the day Christen said she would bake for them. Tobin’s mouth waters as she also remembers Christen mentioned double chocolate chip cookies. 

_“Oh, well you can’t avoid her then. Hmm…wait, doesn’t she play soccer too?”_

“Yup, so I’m going to need you to give me better advice because there is literally no way of avoiding her and… I don’t want to avoid her. I like talking to her and-”

_“Have you tried talking to other girls? College is full of curious girls you know. You don’t have to jump into a relationship right away. It could just be a one night stand or find a fuck buddy. Something that will stifle the crush until you can do that on your own or until you get over it…. So how was that? Good advice? Or do you need like radio talk show type of help?”_

Tobin thinks about it for a minute before answering, “Mmm I'm not much of a player and I don't want drama. What if these girls start crushing on me?"

_“That’s why you tell them what you’re looking for before you start anything with them. I’m sure you will find someone who is looking for the same thing you’re looking for. Or try Tinder. I hear it's great for hookups.”_

"I guess. I'll try it out. Thanks Lauren.”

_“No problem Tobin. Now I’m going to go kiss my NCAA trophy good night and go back to sleep.”_

Tobin laughs. “How long are you going to keep rubbing that in my face?”

_“Until you get your own trophy. Good night Tobs.”_

“Night Lauren.”

Tobin stays seated a while longer, enjoying the cool air and the full moon until Skip starts to whimper and back away.

“What’s wrong buddy?” Tobin pats his head.

Seconds later the sprinklers pop up from the ground and she bolts straight up and quickly jogs away. Only getting a bit of water on the side of her right leg. “Thanks for the heads up dude.” Skip quickly shakes the little bit of water off his fur and Tobin tugs on the leash once he is done. “Let’s go back inside."

* * *

 

Twenty-Six

_Oh, Universe, hold me up_

_You tried your best, is it ever enough_  
When it’s already dragging me down?  
I’m pulling my weight in gold  
Call me anxious, call me broke  
But I can’t lift this on my own  
Pulling my weight in gold  
Call me anxious, call me broke  
But I can’t lift this on my own 

Tobin holds the wooden tip of the paintbrush between her teeth as she searches through her paint splattered box for a tube of a specific brand of black paint then sits back down on the floor in front of the canvas that is leaning against the wall. She puts a small dab on her pallet and begins to put the finishing touches on her painting when Kelley peeks her head in.

“Tobin, do you mind changing the song?” Kelley asks. “Oh hey you’re painting again.”

“Huh?”

“The song, can you change it? You’ve had it on repeat for the last thirty minutes.” Kelley says as she walks into the room and sits on the bed.

“Seriously? I hadn’t noticed. I must have accidentally put it on repeat when I  was changing the volume on my laptop.”

“How do you not notice the same song playing for thirty minutes?”

Tobin shrugs, “I was in the zone.” Tobin gets up from the floor and walks over to her laptop on the dresser. She lowers the volume on the speakers and changes the song before sitting down again.

 _I’ll pray for you if you give me time_  
I’ve had a thousand hearts  
Now you’re after mine 

“Love songs and a sunset painting. You got a new boo I don’t know about? ” Kelley teases.

“Not a sunset, a Jersey sunrise. It’s not all love songs either, it’s an old playlist I made for art class in high school.” Tobin says as she continues painting a small silhouette of a person walking on the beach. “I rediscovered it when I was moving files from my laptop to an external hard drive. It got me in the mood to start painting again.”

Kelley watches as Tobin finishes and sets her paintbrush in the cup with dirty water. 

Tobin leans back and admires the painting for a few seconds. She gets up and starts putting the tubes of paint back in the box as the next song begins to play

 _You want your independence_  
But you won’t let me let you go   
You wanna test the waters   
And leave it on the empty shores

 _But I’ll take my time if you want to_  
And I’ll give you whatever you need   
And I’ll wait a lifetime to give it to you   
Give it to you 

Kelley raises her eyebrows, “Mmm...all I hear are love songs Tobin.”

“Some, but not all.” Tobin puts the lid on the box before going back to her laptop to change the song again.

 _You and I, blurred lines,_  
We come together every time  
Two wrongs, no rights,  
We lose ourselves at night 

“Next.” Tobin says as she hits the arrow key several times until she lands on a song title that can’t have anything to do with love and lets the song play. “See not all-”

 _I know it hurts_  
You know I’d quench that thirst  
(I can treat you better than them)  
You say you’re lonely  
I say you’ll think about it  
Cause you’re the only  
One who resonates that chaste, mouth open like (High) 

Kelley starts laughing as Tobin changes the song again and lets out a breath in frustration. It's been a couple years since Tobin has actually paid any attention to the lyrics of any song in this old playlist and now she is wondering if they are all love songs. She must admit that love songs do have calming beats that makes it easy to zone in on any task.

“Ok, so a majority are love songs but the music is really calming when I’m painting.” Tobin continues to look for another song. “Ah HA! Here, this song.”

 _You shut the gates at sunset_  
After that you can’t get out  
You can see the bigger picture  
Find out what it’s all about 

“What is this?” 

“No idea but it’s not about love so…” Tobin sticks her tongue out at Kelley.

Kelley rolls her eyes and asks, “Ok so one song out of how many?”

Tobin looks back a her screen and shakes her head, "Ok... So I need to update my playlist.”

"How. Many." Kelley repeats.

 Tobin reads out the number, “Twenty-six."


	10. Can You Do Me A Favor?

Kelley wakes up just as the sun starts to hit her eyes. Hope is sitting on the edge of the bed, almost completely dressed, with her back to Kelley. She's bent over tying her shoes when Kelley turns over to look at her.

“Good morning.” Kelley says a bit hoarse before she clears her throat.

“Morning hun,” Hope stands up and takes her hairtie out so she can redo her ponytail. She walks over to Kelley, places her hand on the bed as she leans down to kiss Kelley’s forehead, her hair falling down around Kelley’s face and tickling her cheek. “Babe, have you seen my shirt?” Hope asks as she stands up and pulls her hair back to tie it.

“Um, no.” Kelley sits up, the blanket falls down and exposes her bare chest, her Valentine’s Day gift she always has on is hanging off her neck and shimmering as the sun hits it. 

Hope stares down at Kelley. Her pupils dilating as she takes in the newly unveiled freckled skin. Her eyes quickly focus on the mark just above Kelley’s left nipple. She thinks to herself as she licks her bottom lip, _it could be a few shades darker_. She snaps out of it as her phone vibrates in her pocket. She runs a hand down her face and sighs, “Kelley, I’m already late. I was suppose to meet the girls at the coffee shop. We can’t do this right now.”

Kelley looks down at her chest, her nipples getting hard as soon as they were no longer covered by the warm blanket, the cool air in the room hitting her skin causing goosebumps.

“I know, I didn’t do it on purpose. I just thought your shirt might be in here somewhere.” She lifts up the blanket to look for Hope’s shirt. She finds it under her thigh and pulls it out. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Hope says and puts on her shirt.

“Do you need me to braid your hair before you leave or are you coming back before the game?” Kelley asks as she opens the drawer on her night stand and pulls out shorts and a t-shirt, not wanting to look for the clothes she discarded last night. 

“Not today. I’m late. I’ll just have one of the girls do it in the locker room.” Hope says as she grabs her keys from the dresser. “Next time we are staying at my place before a game, I think we might have kept poor Tobin up last night.”

Kelley ties the drawstring on the shorts and starts to remove the sheets to put them to wash. “I don’t think she was here most of last night. I heard her unlock the front door as I was heading back to the room with a water bottle around 3 am. I think she spent the night at..” Kelley stops removing the sheets as she tries to remember the girl’s name. “Belle’s? I think. You know, the girl with the big curly hair. No, wait. Tobin quit hanging out with her when she found out she had a boyfriend she was just trying to make jealous. Um..”

“Does it really matter who she was with?” Hope asks as she looks down at her phone to check the time. 

“Not really, but I do worry. It’s like she’s been seeing someone new every two weeks. That shit is going to catch up to her soon. Some girl is going to get pissed and next thing you know she’s going to wake up and her tires are going to be slashed.” Kelley says as she piles up the sheets at the foot of the bed and grabs the pillowcases.

“Ok, you’re exaggerating. I’ve only seen her with maybe 3 girls. I doubt she’s going to get a bad reputation for just dating. I mean we’re in college, everyone is constantly going from ‘single and ready to mingle’ to ‘in a committed relationship’ in such a short amount of time.” Hope says.

Kelley crosses her arms as she asks, “Everyone?”

“Ok, not everyone but a majority of them are.” Hope says as she walks over to Kelley and wraps her arms around her girlfriend's waist as she hugs her from behind. Hope gives Kelley a kiss on her cheek and rests her chin on her shoulder. “Speaking of people in committed relationships, what time is Christen and her girlfriend getting here? If we win today the girls will want to go out after but I want to at least make it back here in time to meet your best friend.”

“Don’t worry about it. I made plans to go out with them tomorrow for breakfast before they leave. If you can’t come by today you can meet them tomorrow morning.”

“Ok good,” Hope spins Kelley around and gives her a quick peck on the lips. “I’m super late. I gotta go. Bye babe.”

“Good luck!” Kelley says as Hope slips out into the hallway.

*

Kelley walks out of the bathroom with a towel on her head and another wrapped around her body. She hears noise coming from the living room and walks down the hall to check it out.

“Can you do me a favor? Can you just roll over once today? Come on Skip. Christen is coming today.” Skip’s ears move slightly as he listens to Tobin. “You need to learn how to roll over. It’s been almost two months since I started teaching you this.” Tobin begs Skip.

Kelley walks into the living room to find Tobin laying down on the floor trying to get Skip to roll over. “He still won’t roll over?”

Tobin sits up and turns to Kelley as she answers,“No, he understands all the other commands but he is having a hard time with this one in particular. I don’t know why.”

“Maybe he just needs a break from you and needs someone else to try to teach him? I’ll go change real quick and come back to try it even if I already lost the team bet. Who’s week is it?”

“Um, Alex or Kling. I’m not really sure. They were both here earlier this week to walk him when I was in class.” Tobin lays back down to try one more time as Kelley heads back to her room to change.

Tobin had been going straight home as soon as her classes were done or when she left work early to keep trying to teach Skip this one command. Eventually the team found out during their game nights at the apartment and decided to make bets on who would get him to roll over first. So far Skip would lay down and flop to the side most of the time so he was halfway there.

Tobin goes to the kitchen to get out the small bag of dog treats when Kelley walks out. “Hey Kelley! Think fast!” Tobin then throws Kelley the small bag which she catches before it hits her face.

“Ass,” Kelley opens the bag, walks over to Skip and sits down on the rug next to him as he chews on the rubber chicken which squeaks every time he bites down.

Tobin walks back into the living room with a water bottle and drops down on to the couch, one leg hanging off the armrest as she leans back into the cushions, trying to getting comfortable. “Ok Kelley, do your magic.” Tobin laughs.

“How much do you want to bet he will finally do it today?”

“5 bucks...but only if YOU manage to make him do it, you’ve been around him longer than anyone else. He listens to you about the same amount as he does me. Hope is the who got him to flop to the side and I made her chocolate chip pancakes the next day.”

“Yeah thanks for that, now she will not shut up about those pancakes almost every morning after she spends the night here.” Kelley says as she takes Skip’s toy away and lays down on the floor like Tobin had been when she walked into the living room minutes ago. “What are you going to do if a stranger gets him to roll over? Are you going to give them more than what you’re offering me?”

“You know I just might. I’ve been trying to get him to do this one thing for over 3 months, _Roll Over_ doesn’t even sound like real words to me anymore.” Tobin opens her water bottle and takes a drink. She feels the cold water go down her throat and it make her shiver a bit.

“Alright Skip. Do this and your mom will have to give me five dollars. I can get some coffee with that or snacks. Come on buddy I already lost the team bet weeks ago. Do me this one favor and I’ll buy you a second rubber chicken.” Kelley takes out a dog treat. “Skip,  _Roll Over”_

Kelley rolls over but Skip just flops to the side and then sits up waiting for his treat. “No, you’re not getting this until you... _Roll Over_ ,” Kelley rolls over one more time. This time Skip just walks up to Tobin and places a paw on her knee.

“I think he is tired of trying. I should take him out for a walk so he can do his business before Chris gets here.”

Kelley sits up, closes the bag and throws it back at Tobin. It lands on her lap and she reaches for it before Skip gets to it. “What are we making today?”

“You mean what am I making? You’re not getting anywhere near the kitchen today. I don’t want anything to burn.” Tobin gets up from the couch just as Kelley gets up from the floor to follow her into the kitchen.

“Aw come on. At least let me watch you cook so I can learn something.” Kelley pleads.

Tobin places the bag back in the overhead cabinet, “Fine, you can watch.”

“So what are you making?”

“Chicken Alfredo with bits of broccoli.” Tobin replies. 

“That sounds really good. I can’t wait to eat it.”

“I have to stop by the liquor store in the corner to get something to drink and to stock up on some chocolate. Do you need anything?”

“Cookies n Creme.”

“Alright I’ma take Skip out now. I’ll be back in... 30 mins? 40 at the most. Text me if they get here early.”

“Well last time Christen texted me she said they were stuck in traffic so they might get here in maybe two hours. LA traffic is a bit horrible on the weekends.” Kelley scrolls through her phone as she speaks.

“So I can take my time. Are you going to go anywhere while I’m out?” Tobin asks.

Kelley looks up from her phone. “Mmm. No, why?”

“I’ll leave my keys here then. They always poke me when I wear these basketball shorts and I don’t feel like changing just to take Skip out.” 

Tobin heads to the laundry room as she puts her hair up in a bun before she opens the door. She get Skips leash and grabs a small plastic bag which she shoves in her pocket. Tobin walks out into the living room. “Lets go for a walk Skip.” she says as she shakes the leash in front of him. Skip jumps up and tries to get the leash. “Sit”

Tobin clips the leash to Skips collar and heads to the door. “See ya later Kel”

“Don’t forget your wallet.” Kelley says as Tobin unlocks the front door.

“Shit.” Tobin looks down at Skip. “Stay.” She runs back to her room to grab her wallet, sees her phone on her nightstand and grabs that too before heading back out.

“Thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot my phone too.” Tobin waves her phone at Kelley and then shoves it into her pocket

“Just don’t forget my chocolate.” Kelley says as she flips through tv channels.

“I won’t. Hey Kel, can you wash that pot in the sink? Just leave it on top of the stove with some water when you’re done. I want to start making the food as soon as I get back just in case Mark’s wife goes into labor today and I get called in early. If I work today I might get out around midnight so I might stop by the diner before coming home."

“Can you bring me some pie then. If they have the cherry pie, bring me-”

“Two slices. I know. Be back in a bit.” Tobin tugs on the leash, “Come on Skip lets go.”

*

Christen parks her dad’s car next to Tobin’s jeep and turns to Vero in the passenger seat. “Can you do me a favor?” Christen almost whispers, a bit afraid to ask but it’s been gnawing at her for a few days now, she just wants to enjoy this weekend with her girlfriend and friends without the dark cloud hanging over her head.

Vero's full attention is on her phone as she continues to type out a message.

“Vero?” Christen grips the steering wheel a little tighter and she sighs, gathering up a bit of strength before continuing. “Did you hear me?”

Vero turns to Christen “Que?” Her eyes glued to her phone until she hits send. 

Christen waits for Vero to actually look at her before asking again. “Can you do me a favor?” Christen loosens her grip on the steering wheel and grabs her phone from the cup holder to shove it into her pocket, getting ready to exit the car. 

“Can you please, just for today, not text her?” Christen pleads trying to hide her sad eyes from her girlfriend.

All she wants is for Vero to stop on her own without her having to tell her, and she had been waiting and giving Vero little hints here and there for the past couple of days when the texting started to get out of control but Vero continued to text Jasmine. Vero should know that it makes Christen uncomfortable that she is still texting the girl that placed their relationship on shaky ground. Christen tried so hard to get past it and once she did Vero talked to Jasmine like that one night never happened, like they didn’t have a few rough weeks after the incident. Christen also wanted everything to go back to normal so she went along with it for the first month but it wasn’t as easy as Vero made it seem. Christen still occasionally struggles with it and the recent non-stop texting has been making her anger about it flare up again.

“Christen, she’s the one that’s texting me. Que quieres que haga?” Vero asks and her phone beeps again. Her eyes instantly back on the screen, a small smile appears on her face but Vero locks her phone before Christen can get a good look at the message but Christen already knows it was from Her.

Every time they would have an argument they would switch between speaking English and Spanish, but a majority of the time if Vero was really mad she would only speak in Spanish. That would notify Christen that she had hit a nerve. Christen was more of an angry tears type of person which she hated.

“I know she’s texting you first but you don’t have to respond. Every. Single. Time.” Christen snaps back.

Christen feels bad for asking this of Vero because she doesn’t want to be That Girl, the one that doesn’t want their partner to talk to their friends but for the past 3 days Vero had not put her phone down. It was starting to get on Christen’s nerves and it was making her a bit jealous that she’s only had Vero’s full attention for no more than a couple minutes before she would hear that damn text notification. She especially hated it when Vero’s phone went off while they were being intimate.

The night before, Vero’s phone had ruined the moment and lately they haven’t had their alone time as often as they did before the thing with Jasmine. Christen didn’t want Vero to touch her for a while and up until last month Christen was still working up to that type of intimacy. 

The first night that the texts started becoming an inconvenience, Christen was able to ignore the sound. Christen continued to palm Vero’s breast under her shirt while lightly sucking on her neck. 

A week later, Vero had her hand in Christen’s panties. Vero’s hand stilled for a bit as her phone went off on the nightstand and she reached over to silence it and turn it face down. Christen was so close, she continued to grind against Vero’s hand but the second ping right after distracted Christen and took her out of the moment completely. She stopped trying to cum after the 3rd beep and faked an orgasm so she could just get ready for bed without hurting Vero’s feelings. It didn’t seem to bother Vero that they finished in record time since she quickly went back to texting Jasmine and Christen went to sleep unsatisfied and more irritated than ever. 

Christen didn’t mind not cumming but she absolutely hated the fact that Vero’s head was in some place else instead of right there with her. She wanted Vero to be in the moment with her, it was not an absurd thing to want or ask for but apparently for the past couple months Christen’s wants and needs have gone completely unnoticed by Vero. 

“It would be rude to ignore the texts. She just got dumped.” Vero says a bit defensively.

Christen throws her hands up. “Oh my god, how bad could that break up have been? They only dated for like two months!”

“At two months I was already head over heels for you. So time doesn’t really matter, what matters is the intensity of the feelings you have for that person.” Vero breaths out as she tries to calm herself. “Look, I’m just trying to be there for my friend. Why are you asking me to ignore her when she needs me?” Vero looks shocked that Christen would even suggest she should ignore her friend after Christen had promised that was something she would never ask her to do. “Suponiendo que era Kelley o otra de tus amigas con un corazon roto, no harias lo mismo?”

“I would be there for them, yes. Pero no te voy a ignorar como tu me estabas ignorando estos ultimos tres dias! Todo el pinche dia en el telefono!” Christen raises her voice slightly.

“Yo? Yo te estaba ignorando a ti?” Vero says in disbelief. “You started ignoring me way before Jasmine started texting me daily!”

Christen crosses her arms. “I was only texting Kelley and Tobin to set things up for today! You can’t be mad about that.”

“You’re constantly on Skype and I hardly complain about that but you get to be mad about me texting Jasmine?” Vero scoffs.

Christen turns in the seat and looks a Vero as she speaks. “Yeah I do, because you already know I don’t like her. I haven’t liked her since she kissed you. I don’t care that she came back the next morning to apologize to me in person or that she doesn’t remember the kiss because I DO!”

“So if I don’t like one of your friends then it’s ok for me to ask you to stop talking to them. Ok.” Vero says

“I’m not asking you to stop completely. I’m only asking you to stop for today or just cut back a lit-.”

Vero ignores Christen and cuts her off, “Ok, How about you stop talking to Kelley’s roommate all the time then?”

“What?”

“You heard me. I don’t want you talking to her.”

“Why? You don’t even know her. What could Tobin have possibly done to make you not like her?”

“You talk to her more than you ever talked with me when we were long distance. Doesn’t she go to class? Or practice? Or work? She always answers you back really quick, too quick for someone who is suppose to be ‘just a friend’.”

“She IS just a friend! Unlike yours, she hasn’t drunkenly kissed me!” Christen gets out of the car, closes the door and starts walking towards the apartment. She wants the argument to be over because she can already feel the tears of anger threaten to make an appearance. She doesn’t want to cause a scene outside of her friends’ apartment. Now she regrets not bringing it up before they arrived, or even before they left her parent’s house that morning.

Vero steps out and she smacks the roof of the car to get Christen’s attention. “Christen, come back here. We’re not done talking.”

Vero closes the car door and leans against it as Christen walks around the car to stand in front of her.

Christen crosses her arms as she speaks calmly, “No I think we are. I don’t want to do this here. Not right now. Can we just talk about this later?” 

“You’re the one that brought it up Chris!” 

“I only wanted you to just stop texting Jasmine for a couple hours at least and you made it into this whole other thing by bringing Tobin into this!”

“I brought her up be-”

Christen quickly cuts Vero off. “But she has nothing to do with this. Friends talk ok. I don’t just talk to her, I talk with all my other friends too but you’re making it seem like something is going on between us and it’s not. Maybe if you’re ‘friend’ Jasmine hadn’t kissed you that night, you wouldn’t be projecting her behavior onto my friends.”

Vero listens to Christen and decides it's best just to end the fight here. She knows she can’t win this one. “I...I’m sorry, you’re right.” Vero sighs in defeat but still a bit irritated. “I’ll _try_ to be nice to Kelley’s roommate.” Vero grabs Christen’s hips and pulls her in. Vero starts off in the sweetest tone she can, “Honey... I honestly thought we were past the Jasmine thing, I thought we had dealt with it while we were still in Sweden. I thought it was finally ok with you if I started talking to her again, I mean I practically ignored her for two months.”

Christen uncrosses her arms to remove Vero’s hands from her hips. 

“What are you still mad about? It’s been months now since the kiss, Chris. Do you need me to apologize? Quieres que me ponga de rodillas y te pida perdon otra vez?” Vero takes a step towards Christen.

Christen rolls her eyes. “No seas tan dramatica Vero. Pero tu bien sabes que el beso no era la unica razon por la que estaba enojada.”

“Are you guys just going to stand there under the hot sun and get sun burnt or are you going to come inside to my nicely air conditioned apartment?”

Christen turns to see Kelley peeking out of the front door, she wonders how much of their argument Kelley has witnessed. Kelley knew about that night but what Christen has not told her was that they were still having problems because of it. If Christen was being honest with herself she would admit that the problems didn’t start after Jasmine kissed Vero, they had started months before that.

Deep down Christen knows their relationship has been feeling a bit off since she arrived in Sweden. Christen’s first initial thought was that they just needed to get physically comfortable with each other again after such a long time apart. It had been months since she had seen Vero and she was now basically living in her apartment but even now being back everything just felt a little odd. The first couple times Christen did bring it up Vero told her she was overthinking everything, that they were good, and that their relationship was better than ever. Christen stopped bringing it up because she was afraid of making a fuss over a nonexistent problem but now she wasn’t sure if it was problem all along or if she, with all her overthinking, made it into a actual problem. She had been going around in circles for the last month between thinking it was a problem and thinking it was nothing to worry about. It was driving her crazy but maybe if she said it out loud that would be the last nail on the coffin and she wasn’t ready to let all the work she put into this relationship go to waste if all they needed to do was work on it a little.

“Just let it go for now. We’ll talk about all this later.” Christen whispers to Vero before she turns to Kelley. “Hey Kel, is the food ready? I’m starving!” Christen smiles at Kelley as she grabs Vero’s hand and starts to walk to the front door. Just being her cheerful self as if they weren’t just arguing in public.

“No, the food isn’t ready. I thought you were stuck in traffic, I told Tobin to take her time walking Skip. She’s the cook this afternoon and basically every other afternoon since I burned the grilled cheese sandwiches last month.” Kelley says as she moves to the side to let Christen and Vero inside. 

As soon as they walk in Vero’s phone pings again and Christen drops her hand. Christen looks around the open space. “Wow, the first time Tobin showed me around it looked really different...really empty.”

“Well duh she showed you the day we moved in. You know where everything is or do you still want a tour?”

“I think I know the layout pretty well but you should probably show Vero around.”

Kelley pulls out her phone. “Yeah, just let me text Tobin to tell her to get her ass here ASAP so she can start cooking. She wanted me to tell her when you guys got here.”

Christen looks to the kitchen and sees a small pot on the stove, she points to it, “Is that pot big enough for the pasta? The girls are still coming over, aren’t they?”

Kelley looks up from her phone a bit confused. “What girls?”

“Kling, JJ, and Alex.” Vero says. Her hand going into her pocket to silence her phone as it pings a second time.

“Tobin didn’t mention it? I asked her last night if any of the other girls would be here and she said she would invite them over since I haven’t seen them in a while either.” Christen says to Kelley.

“First time I’m hearing about this. She probably forgot about it.” Kelley erases the text before she is even done typing it out. “It’ll be easier if I just call her to ask what’s going on today. I haven’t received a text from any of the girls so Tobin probably forgot to invite them.” Kelley motions to the couch as she says, “You guys can sit down.”

Vero speaks up. “Bathroom?”

Kelley and Christen point to the small hallway and reply at the same time, “First door to the left.”

Vero heads to the bathroom while Christen and Kelley walk over to the couch to sit down.

Kelley with the phone against her ear, waiting for Tobin to pick up, hands Christen the tv remote but Christen doesn’t mind watching the cooking show Kelley had been watching before they came in.

“Hey Tobs.”

_“What’s up Kelley? Are Christen and Vero there already?”_

“Yeah. Quick question. Did you invite Kling, JJ, and Alex over to hang?”

_“SHIT! I did.”_

“Let me guess, you need more chicken and pasta?”

_“Yeah I was going to go earlier this morning but I got distracted with Skip.”_

“What time did you tell them to come over?”

_“Alex said she would drop by in an hour because Serv is taking her out today so she doesn’t mind not getting any chicken alfredo but Kling and JJ will be expecting food when they get there in like an hour, hour and a half maybe.”_

Christen turns to Kelley, “Is she almost here?”

Kelley just shrugs. “Hey Tobin, do you need me to go buy the stuff or will you be here soon enough to still manage a quick trip to the grocery store?”

_“No, I’m barely walking to the liquor store right now and I want to shower before I start cooking. Skip made me chase after him when he slipped out of his collar and started chasing a squirrel in the park. I am a sweaty mess right now.”_

Kelley covers the mouth piece and turns to whisper at Christen. “She’s barely walking to the liquor store near by.”

“Oh, ok.” Christen turns back to the Tv to let Kelley finish talking to Tobin. The sooner they finished the sooner she can get fed.

“Do you want me to go then?” Kelley asks one more time.

_“I don’t have my keys Kelley. How am I going to get in if you’re still at the store when I get home?”_

Kelley watches as Vero walks out of the bathroom and sit down between her and Christen. Vero lifts her hand and places it on Christen’s thigh. Christen moves her thigh slightly and Vero quickly removes her hand. Kelley finds it a little odd but continues her conversation with Tobin.

Kelley turns to Christen and Vero. “Are you guys ok staying here while I go to the store real quick?”

“Yup.” Christen says as she lowers the volume on the tv.

Kelley puts the phone against her ear again.“Chris and Vero will be here so I can head out to the store. Just text me what else we need so I don’t forget anything.”

_“Ok, Bye”_

“Bye.” Kelley hits the end call button as she gets up from the couch and turns to look at Christen and Vero. Vero is playing with her hands on her lap, looking a bit uncomfortable and Christen has her arms crossed. Kelley sensed a bit a tension since before they walked in but she didn’t want to comment on it. “Hey Vero do you want to go to the store with me? I kind of don’t want to go alone.”

“Uh.. yeah.” Vero pats Christen’s knee. “Ima go with Kelley ok.”

Christen stares blankly at the tv. “Mhm.” She looks up at Kelley as Vero stands up. “Hey Kel mind if I take a quick nap on your couch? I have a bit of a headache.”

“There’s a bottle of advil in the bathroom drawer, take one or two. You can take a nap in my bed if you want. You know which room is mine right?”

“Yeah.” Christen turns off the tv and gets up. She reaches for Vero’s hand as she asks “Vero, can you bring me some chocolate?”

“Yeah. Come on Kelley lets go.” Kelley grabs her keys and walks out behind Vero already back on her phone as soon as she was out of Christen’s sight.

“We’ll be back in a bit.” Kelley says. Christen waves as she heads to the bathroom.

Christen takes the pills and starts to walk to Kelley’s room. She stares at the two identical doors at the end of the small hallway and she can’t remember exactly which one is Kelley’s.

Christen opens the door to the right and takes a few steps inside. She sees Tobin’s gray blanket and pillows that she has already seen many times from all the hours they’ve spent Skyping and on facetime. She feels her headache lessen as she takes in the somewhat familiar neat room.

Christen lets herself be a little nosy just this once and takes a couple more steps into the room to get a good look at Tobin’s wall. Christen was right, it is more beautiful in person. She looks around and spots a couple trophies and medals on a shelf. She starts to walk in to get a better look at at the plaque inscriptions on some of the trophies but she steps on a dog’s squeaky toy and it startles her. Christen takes that as a sign she should walk away now. She turns around to head out but stops in front of the door when she sees a picture of Tobin and two other girls she doesn’t recognize. All three are very young in the picture, all three are smiling but Tobin definitely has the biggest smile. The kind of smile that is hard to not smile at. Christen reaches out and straightens the frame before leaving the room.


	11. Wrapped In Your Regret

Tobin walks into the quiet apartment and she finds it kind of odd, she thought Christen and Vero were going to be in the living room watching tv or something. She places the grocery bags on the table then leans down to unclip Skip’s leash and leads him to the glass door to let him out. She returns to the kitchen to put the drinks in the fridge along with the other things she bought.

Tobin wraps the leash around her hand as she walks to put it back on the rack in the laundry room before she heads to her room. She hears noise coming from Kelley’s room but her sweaty t-shirt and the cool ac circulating in the apartment is making her shiver and she wants to take a quick shower so she can start preparing the chicken she has in the fridge before Kelley comes back with the rest. She walks into her room to pick out her clothes. 

Tobin picks out something simple, blue jeans, an undershirt, and a dark gray button down shirt. She sets them down on her bed and rolls the sleeves on the shirt before walking out with her towels as she removes her hairtie, her hair falls down in wavy dirty blonde locks. 

She hadn’t noticed Kelley’s door open when she first walked into her own room but she peeks in when she hears the sound of the bed springs. She sees someone sleeping in Kelley’s bed. The person is too small to be Hope. Tobin steps in a little closer and can now hear the person snoring softly. She is about to walk out and close the door when the person finally turns around to lay on their left side.

It’s Christen, she’s hugging one of Kelley’s pillows tightly. Tobin looks at her peaceful face. Christen shifts a bit and a couple curls fall down over her lips and nose. Tobin fights the urge to walk over to her to move the hair from her face but in her sleep Christen brushes the hair away with her hand. Tobin slowly walks away, hoping Christen doesn’t wake up and catch her creeping on her while she sleeps.

After Tobin showers and changes, she puts on some music. She connects her iPod to her Bluetooth speakers and sets it on top of the refrigerator after she lowers the volume a bit. She doesn’t want to wake up Christen with her loud music. She shoves the tiny remote into her back pocket when she finally settles on a song.

Tobin dances around in the kitchen as she grabs a bigger pot and takes out what she needs from the fridge. She sets down the chicken between the sink and stove with a knife and a cutting board. Tobin grabs a clean rag from one of the drawers and places it on her shoulder so she doesn’t absentmindedly wipe her hands on her shirt or jeans while she cooks. 

Her favorite game pump-up song starts to play as she pulls out the broccoli from the bottom drawer in the fridge. She pulls out the remote and turns the volume up a little higher then puts the remote back in her pocket. She dances as the music plays and holds the broccoli as if it were a mic and starts singing along completely forgetting about the person sleeping in the other room.

“ _Don't wanna live as an untold story. Rather go out in a blaze of glory. I can't hear you, I don't fear you!_ ” 

Tobin closes the fridge door with her foot as she holds the broccoli with both hands and continues to sings. 

“ _I'll live now 'cause the bad die last. Dodging bullets with your broken past. I can't hear you, I don't fear you now!_ ”

She dances over to the sink to wash the broccoli but doesn’t notice Christen leaning against the wall, watching her be really dramatic with a piece of broccoli.

“ _Wrapped in your regret. What a waste of blood and sweat. Oh oh oh!_ ”

Tobin throws her head back as she sings louder.

“Nice moves.” Christen yells over the music, it startles Tobin and causes her to drop the broccoli in the sink. Christen covers her mouth to keep herself from laughing out loud at Tobin.

“How long have you been standing there?” Tobin asks, her face completely red from embarrassment.

Christen walks closer to Tobin and leans against the counter. “Not long. A little before the last song ended.” Christen grins at Tobin.

“It’s a really good song. Hard not to sing along and dance to it ok, don’t make fun of me Christen.” Tobin says as she picks up the broccoli and washes it. 

“I’m not.” Christen smiles. “...your little dance was cute though.” Tobin feels the heat return to her face for a whole other reason now. “I do the same thing when I bake except I sing into a spoon or a whisk not a piece of broccoli.” Christen starts to laugh, the butterflies in Tobin’s stomach flutter around. She grabs the rag on her shoulder and playfully smacks Christen’s arm with it.

“I’m back and I brought someone with me.” Kelley walks in with a couple bags in her hand. Vero and Alex are talking as they enter the apartment after her.

Tobin dries her hands, places the rag back on her shoulder and lowers the volume as she walks over to greet Vero, “Hi, it’s good to finally meet you in person.” Tobin smiles and sticks her hand out to shake Vero’s hand.

“Likewise, Tobin.” Vero nods and shakes Tobin’s hand then she looks behind her at her girlfriend.

Christen’s smile is gone as she watches them, a little worried. She can sense that her girlfriend is a bit uncomfortable as she looks up at Tobin who is a couple inches taller than her.

Tobin turns to Alex as soon as Vero releases her hand, “Hey Alex, you look nice.”

Alex smooths out her red form fitting dress as she replies, “Thank you. I can’t stay long, I have to meet up with Serv in a bit. I just wanted to say hi to Vero and Chris.”

“Tobin where do you want me to put this?” Kelley asks as she lifts up the bags.

“Give them to me.” Tobin takes them and places them on the counter. Kelley follows Tobin while Alex, Christen, and Vero sit at the dining table to catch up for a few minutes.

When Alex leaves Christen gets up to see what Tobin and Kelley are doing. Vero is back on her phone as soon as Christen has her back to her.

Christen’s phone vibrates in her pocket and she pulls it out. It’s a text from Vero. Christen turns around before she reads the text, Vero is smiling at her before she looks back down at her phone.

VB: How did I do? w/ Tobin. 

Christen turns around and gives Vero a thumbs up and turns back to face Kelley and Tobin.

“What does it feel like?” Kelley asks Tobin.

Tobin cuts a few more pieces of the chicken breast. “Why don’t you just touch it,” Kelley is about to reach in to poke the last piece of chicken breast Tobin has to cut but Tobin stops her. “Wait, wash your hands first.”

“You’ve seriously never touched chicken before Kel?” Christen asks.

Kelley washes her hands and replies, “No, I’m not much of a cook. I like to... _eat out_ if you know what I mean.” Kelley chuckles, Christen and Tobin both roll their eyes at her.

“Ok Kelley just touch it already so I can cook it already.” Tobin stands to the side as Kelley comes closer.

Kelley hesitates but then goes for it. She pokes it with her index finger, “It’s...squishy, and really cold.” Kelley lifts her hand up in surrender. “Ok Tobin I’m out, I’m done for today. We can continue our cooking lessons another day.” Kelley washes her hands again and dries them on Tobin’s towel as Tobin cuts the last chicken breast into pieces, puts it in a large pan and mixes in a bit of seasoning. Tobin walks over to the sink to wash her hands as Christen places the cover on the pan.

“Ok, so how long until this is edible? I’ve practically been starving since I got here.” Christen says as her stomach growls. She turns to Vero and sees her on her phone again. She sighs and then calls out, “Hey Vero, did you bring me my chocolate?”

Vero sets her phone down on the table and turns to Kelley who is already on the couch flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. “See Kelley I told you I was forgetting something.” Vero turns back to Christen. “Perdon cariño.”

Christen turns back to the stove, clearly annoyed that her girlfriend couldn’t remember to bring her something as simple as candy and is still obviously texting Jasmine, even after their argument in the parking lot.

Tobin dries her hands on the towel as she opens the freezer and pulls out a large dark chocolate bar. She turns to Christen as she closes the freezer door.

“Here, but don’t spoil your dinner or whatever.” Tobin rambles on. 

Christen’s faces softens and a smile spreads across her face as she looks at the chocolate and then at Tobin. She walks over to Tobin and takes the chocolate, it’s her favorite brand. 

“Oh, I don’t want to eat it if you were saving it for yourself-”

Tobin cuts her off, “Ew, I would never. Milk chocolate all the way. I just bought this today since I know it’s your favorite.” Tobin gives her a huge smile.

“Aw that’s really sweet. Thanks Tobin.” Christen hugs her quickly but Tobin is slow to wrap her arms around Christen and the hug is longer than necessary. Tobin can feel her heart pounding and wonders if Christen feels it too.

Vero watches their interaction and sets her phone down even if she was in the middle of replying to Jasmine. She ignores the first ping of the new message but she turns the sound off completely when it pings a second time. She shoves her phone in her pocket and goes to sit with Kelley on the couch hoping that the movement would pop the little bubble Tobin and her girlfriend seemed to currently be in, but it doesn’t and it makes her feel a bit jealous.

Tobin steps back a bit so Christen can open the candy. “Not like super sweet. I bought a bunch of chocolate today because it’s one of the things that makes my period bearable. I was already in the candy isle when grabbed that one,” Tobin points to the candy as Christen bites the corner. “I got Kelley her cookies ‘n’ creme chocolate too. I was just stock piling on our PMSing essentials. Our cycles have synced since we started living together.” Tobin laughs nervously as she tries to make it seem like its not a big deal after noticing Vero glaring at her from the couch.

“Thanks Tobin!” Kelley yells out. “You da real MVP!”

“Yeah, remember that when I make you wash the dishes later today.” Tobin jokes.

“Eh, I’m ok with that as long as you keep me well fed.” Kelley pats her stomach and laughs.

“Thank you Tobin, I literally thought I was going to die of starvation today, almost saw my life flash before my eyes.” Christen tries to stay serious while she says it but she breaks and she grins at Tobin.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Not as dramatic as you with the broccoli.” Christen laughs.

Tobin makes sure the chicken doesn’t burn and all the pieces cook the whole way through. 

“Do you need help with anything else?” Christen asks.

“Not right now, but I wouldn't mind some company while I cook.”

Vero and Kelley yell at the TV as they watch a soccer game Kelley stumbled upon while flipping through the channels.

Christen turns around to ask Kelley, “What are you guys watching?”

“Friendly between USMNT and Mexico.” Vero responds as Kelley jumps off the couch.

“This ref is blind, that was an obvious fuckin’ foul!” Kelley yells at the TV then sits back down.

Christen turns back around as Tobin grips the hand she was stirring the chicken with. “Oh shit! Tobin did you burn your hand?” Christen reaches for Tobin’s hand to check it but Tobin steps back a bit and shakes her head.

“Uh. No.” With a slightly shaking hand, Tobin hands Christen the wooden spoon. “Here. I forgot my phone in my room and I just remembered I’m waiting for a call from work.”

“You ok?” Christen says as she grabs the spoon and Tobin quickly shoves her hands in her pockets.

“Yup.” Tobin says a bit breathless as she quickly walks to her room.

Christen stirs the chicken, lowers the heat after a few minutes when Tobin hasn’t come back. She walks to her room and knocks on the closed door.

“Tobin? The chicken and the pasta are ready.”

“...I’ll be out in a bit. Just... I’m on the phone. You can turn off the stove.” Tobin calls out.

“O..K...” Christen says and heads back to the kitchen to wait for Tobin.

Vero looks over to the empty kitchen as Christen walks out and Tobin follows her after a minute or two.

Vero turns to Kelley as they wait for the second half to begin, “So, they get along really well.”

Kelley looks over at them as Tobin pours the pasta into the colander Christen is holding over the sink. “Yeah, they better. I spent the first two weeks of my summer trying to get them to talk to each other without me having to be present.”

“Why?”

Kelley raises her eyebrow when she turns to look back at Vero. “Why not? I want my two best friends to get along.” 

“Did they not talk to each other before? I mean you’ve been going to New Jersey for a while, did they not know each other then?”

“Well they knew about each other, my East Coast bff and my West Coast bff, but Tobin was moving to the West Coast and I wanted her to feel comfortable hanging out with me and Christen while she was still in California. You know, before she left to Sweden with you. I didn’t want Tobin to feel left out or like a third wheel when Christen would drop by my house. She was a really big help when my parents divorced and I started making the trips to my dad’s place in the summer so I wanted to help her out with her transition to the west too. I figured it would be better for her to know at least one other person besides me. Plus they really needed the push. Tobin isn’t usually shy but she was a bit shy with Christen at first and Christen has always been really shy around new people. She isn’t usually the first one to start a conversation with a stranger.”

Vero smiles, “She wasn’t shy with me.”

“Actually she was, but I made her talk to you that day in the bathroom. I could tell you were having a hard first day. I wanted to help out but my Spanish is shit, and I didn’t know how much English you knew. I told her she not to be an asshole and talk to you.”

“Oh. Well thank you for that.” Vero says. 

“You’re welcome.” Kelley says before she turns to stare at the TV again. 

Vero checks her phone, she has a couple missed calls.

“I’ll be right back, I just need to make a call.” Vero walks out into the parking lot and leans against a car as she waits for the person on the other end of the phone to answer.

Christen turns to the living room to check up on Vero but she isn’t there. “Hey Kelley where did Vero go?”

“She said she had to make a call.”

Christen turns back to Tobin, “I’ll be back in a bit.” She walks out, she sees Vero sitting on the trunk of the car with her back to her and walks towards her.

“Hey Vero, who ya talking to?” Christen asks as she stops and stands next to the car.

“Disculpe.” Vero says then lowers the phone and turns to face Christen. “How long have you been standing there Chris?”

Christen’s eyebrow furrows in confusion. “Uh.. I just walked out right now. I was looking for you to tell you the food is almost ready. Who are you talking to?”

Vero looks down at the phone in her hand then back up at Christen before answering, “...My mom.” 

Christen walks closer, she stands in front of Vero, between her legs. Christen places her hands on Vero’s thighs, gives them a light squeeze and smiles up a her. 

“How long are you going to stay out here?”

Vero intertwines their hands and brings Christen’s hand up and places a kiss on it. “I’ll go inside in a bit, we’re just in the middle of some family gossip.”

“Ok, well tell her I said hi.” Christen walks back inside and minutes later Vero walks in and sits back down with Kelley to watch the last 15 minutes of the game.

Tobin adds the Alfredo sauce and sprinkles a bit of cheese into the pot with the pasta, chicken, and broccoli before mixing it all together then lets it cook a little while longer. She stirs the pot a bit before turning off the stove and she places the cover back on top. She reaches into the cupboard to take out some plates and places them on the counter next to the pot.

“Where are your forks?” Christen asks.

Tobin points to a drawer to her left. They set the table together as Christen tells Tobin about her upcoming trips. “Tomorrow we are heading back to my house to drop off my dad’s car and from there were going to the airport. We’re heading east to visit Ali and Ashlyn then from there we are going to spend a couple days in New York to be typical tourist.”

“Oooh, the big apple. Text me if you’re in need of a good place to eat, I know all the good and cheap places to get amazing food. New York was practically my second home when I wasn’t in school or soccer camps...” Tobin walks back to the cupboard to take out some cups. “My uh... my ex had extended family that lived in Brooklyn.. they let us crash with them at night and we would explore the city pretty much the whole day. We found a bunch of great little coffee shops and odd stores.”

Christen could tell that Tobin didn’t mean to let that slip so she changes the subject, “Just give me a list and I’ll try to get Vero to go before we have to meet up with her friend Jenni. So uh speaking of friends, where is your furry friend? I’ve been here for over 2 hours and I have yet to meet the little guy.” Christen looks around.

Tobin sets down the cups next to the forks and smiles at Christen thankful for the change in subject. “He’s actually family, and he is in the backyard. He isn’t so little anymore though.” The door bell rings and Kelley gets up to open it. “We can play with him after we eat. I wouldn’t want him ruin your cute little outfit... or mine.” Tobin says as she nervously pushes both her sleeves up a little more. “He gets really excited and a bit crazy around new people.”

Kling and JJ walk in. “The party has arrived!” Kling exclaims as she heads over to greet Vero.

“I’m starving, is the food ready?” JJ walks towards Tobin and Christen. “Hey Christen.” She turns around and waves at Vero, “Hey Vero.”

“Ok, everyone the food is ready, the plates are next to the pot, serve yourselves.” Tobin says as she goes into the fridge to take out the soda cans, a jug of sweet tea Kelley had made and places them in the middle of the table for them to choose from.

Tobin opens the fridge again to get a bottle of water. Christen is behind her when she turns around. “Can I have some water too?”

Tobin hands her the bottle in her hand and turns around to grab another for herself.

Everyone else already has their plates in their hands and are heading to sit down at the table. Vero passes by them as they walk over to the stove to serve themselves and taps Christen’s butt.  Christen just keeps walking towards Tobin to serve herself.

Tobin serves Christen her plate and hands it to her before grabbing another plate to serve herself. 

“Thank you.” Christen says then picks up a piece of chicken with her fingers and puts it in her mouth.

Tobin watches Christen as her tongue sticks out a little to lick her fingers clean. The spoon slips from Tobin’s hand and falls on the floor, only a couple pieces of chicken and pasta end up on the ground. “Shit! Sorry.”

They set their plates on the counter and start cleaning up the small mess.

“Damn Tobin, why are you so clumsy?” Kling says with her mouth full.

Tobin leans down and grabs the spoon and puts it in the sink and grabs a clean spoon while Christen picks up the pieces on the ground and wipes the alfredo sauce off the floor with a napkin.

JJ grabs a napkin and wipes her mouth before saying, “Finish your food first Meghan. Nobody needs to see that.”

Kling turns to JJ and opens her mouth wider. JJ grabs another napkin and throws it over Kling’s face to cover it.

 

Once they’re done eating, JJ and Kling stay seated and listen to Christen and Vero as they talk about their time in Sweden and Spain. Tobin and Kelley pick up the dirty plates and start to wash them.

“The food was amazing.” Kelley says as she rinses the forks.

Tobin takes the forks from Kelley to place them on the dish rack. She can tell something is up with Kelley. She noticed it as soon as she caught Kelley checking her phone every couple minutes and quickly typing out a few messages while they were eating. Tobin was sure Christen noticed it too when Kelley, for the most part stayed quiet towards the end, before she got up to pick up everyone’s plates with Tobin.

“Thank you.” Tobin studies Kelley’s face as she asks. “So.. is Hope stopping by or can I put the leftovers away?”

Kelley hands Tobin a clean plate to set on the dish rack as she replies a bit sadly. “Just put the food away. She said something came up and she has to take care of it today.” Kelley lowers her voice, “She uh...wouldn’t tell me what it was when I asked and the really weird thing is that she wasn’t texting me from her phone. She texted me from Aurora’s phone and I can’t exactly blow up her phone with texts asking for Hope. I tried to call her phone but it went straight to voicemail. Do you think she is ignoring me on purpose or..” Kelley trails off as she begins to play with her necklace.

“If it was something really important she would have said something about it. Maybe is just a minor thing that she can take care of quickly so there was no need for you to worry about it. As for her phone, maybe it just died or it broke and that’s why you can’t reach her on it. Maybe that’s the thing she needs to take care of.”

“Maybe, but why couldn’t she just tell me that then?” Kelley bites on her lip nervously.

Tobin drapes her arm around Kelley’s shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug. “Stop overthinking. Wait until you see her so you can ask her what’s going on. Is she coming over tonight or tomorrow morning?”

“We are going to get breakfast with Chris and Vero before they leave tomorrow, You want to come?” Kelley asks.

Tobin looks over at Christen. Vero rests her arm on the back of Christen’s chair, Christen leans forward and rests her elbows on the table. Vero brings her arm back in front of her and puts it on Christen’s thigh. This time Christen doesn’t move it.

“I don’t know, maybe if I don’t get called in to work today.” Tobin replies.

Christen turns around. “Hey East Coast bring out Skip. Share the puppy love with us.”

“Ok,” Tobin pats Kelley’s back. “You look like you need some puppy love Kel.” Tobin says to Kelley before she walks to the backyard to get Skip.

Kelley walks back to the dinning table to sit with the rest of the girls while they wait for Tobin to bring in Skip.

“So what? No dessert? Not even some cookies or something?” Kling asks.

“Oh my god! How could I forget.” Christen pats Vero’s thigh. “Can you go get the gift we bought for Kel and Tobin? It’s in the back seat.” Christen hands Vero the car keys.

“Sure.” Vero leans in and gives Christen a quick peck in the cheek before getting up and walking out.

Tobin walks in seconds later with a smile on her face and Skip happily trailing behind her with his tongue sticking out. “Look who is ready to officially meet dog lover extraordinaire Christen AKA West Coast AKA ... uh..“I Don’t Know I Ran Out Of Nicknames” Tobin laughs.

Christen cracks a smile as she gets up and walks towards Tobin and Skip. She kneels down and instantly Skip tries to lick her face. “He is so precious.” Christen looks up at Tobin. “Don’t be surprised if I try to steal your dog at the end of the night.”

“You couldn’t even if you tried, he's basically the team's mascot, Kelley loves him almost as much as me, and Hope has also become quite attached. She taught him how to flop.” Tobin quickly slaps her hand over her mouth and mutters ‘Fuck’.

Christen gets up and looks at Tobin a bit confused, “Flop?...So you couldn’t teach him to roll over?”

As soon as the words leave Christen’s mouth, Skip lays down in front of her feet and rolls over. Kelley’s and JJ’s  mouths are wide open. The only thing that comes out is “Oh.My.God.” almost in unison. 

Kling takes out her phone and starts to record Skip still laying down on the floor. “Say it again. I need proof I won the bet.” Kling says excitedly as she practically starts dancing in her chair.

Tobin looks back down at Skip as he gets up and walks over to Kling. Tobin looks back at Christen, eyes wide in surprise. She lunges forward, wraps her arms around Christen and hugs her tight. Christen giggles when her feet momentarily leave the ground as Tobin picks her up and spins her around. “I could just kiss you!”

Vero walks in with the gift as Tobin sets a shocked Christen back down on the ground. “What’s going on?”

“I have no clue.” Christen says but continues to smile at Tobin still a bit confused.

Kelley gets up and takes the gift from Vero and sets it on the table as she explains why they all collectively just lost it, “Tobin has been trying for over 3 months to get Skip to roll over, I’ve tried, the whole team has tried-”

Kling interrupts Kelley. “The team had a 50 dollar bet going on too. Everyone choose which week he would finally do it. I choose this week. 2 more days and I would be out.” Kling kneels down in front of Skip and rubs his belly as a reward.

“Damnit, I had next week...” JJ walks over to Kling and hands her a 50 dollar bill. “Here.”

Kelley pulls out her wallet and gives Kling two 20′s and a 10. “My girlfriend Hope tried a couple times too on the week that I chose but she gave up after the first three days. She did manage to get him to flop to the side but Christen just said roll over and he laid down in front of her and rolled. For the first time!”

Vero looks down at Skip and then back at Christen as she nudges Tobin with her shoulder.

“I guess he isn’t a fast learner like his owner.” Christen tries to suppress a giggle but fails.”You don’t just flop to the side, do you?”

Tobin pokes Christen’s side and makes her laugh. “Shut up, you still own me my treat.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t forget.”

Their little moment is interrupted when Stop Desire starts playing from Tobin's pocket, she reaches in and pulls out her phone to answer the call without checking the caller i.d. since it was the call she was waiting for all day. “Hello?....Yeah, Ok. I’ll be there in ten. Ok. Bye.” Tobin shoves her phone back in her pocket and starts to unbutton her shirt. “Mark’s wife just went into labor.”

“So I guess you have to go to work now?” Christen asks.

“Yes. I’ma go change my shoes and grab my sweater. Kelley can you walk Skip later tonight.” Tobin says as she takes off her button down shirt and untucks her black tank top. She leans down and starts to untie her shoes. 

“Yup.”

 

The girls sit down on the couch, Christen and Kling sit on the ground and are playing with Skip when Tobin walks out of her room moments later with her steal toe boots on causing her feet to land with a small thud with each step, her hair in a messy bun again and a black Nike hoodie in her hand. She pats down her pockets before asking, “Kelley, have you seen my keys?”

Kelley points to the mail/key holder near the front door.

“Thanks. Ok guys I’ll see ya later. Bye Christen. Bye Vero, it was nice to finally meet you.” Tobin walks over to Skip as he sits up on top of Christen’s lap. Tobin leans down and gives Skip a quick kiss on his head. “Be a good boy and don’t go chasing squirrels again.” Tobin pulls the Nike sweater over her head and heads to the door.

“Game night next week, right?” Kling asks.

Tobin stands by the open door. “Oh definitely. Ok I really have to go now. Bye.” Tobin waves goodbye and walks out the door.

“Don’t forget my pie!” Kelley yells out after the door closes and she hear Tobin yell back “I KNOW!”

Christen looks up at Kelley. “Game night? The season is over.”

“Oh yeah, but Tobin started hosting a game night here for the team. Like team building shit, ya know. Every two weeks the team comes over, Tobin cooks, we drink a bit and play games either on the Xbox or some board games. If it’s a nice day out we head over to the park and play a bit of volleyball. Tobin makes spaghetti and some really awesome garlic bread or she lets one of the senior girls choose from a list of things she can cook, but its almost always spaghetti since everyone loves the damn garlic bread, myself included.” Kelley says. 

“Sounds like a lot of fun. I can’t wait to start school here in a couple of months and start hanging out with you all on a daily basis.” Christen says as she pets Skip. “And to hang out this this little dude too.” Skip turns over on Christen’s lap and she gives him a belly rub.

Kling pats Kelley’s leg to get her attention. “Now that Tobin is gone we need to iron out some details for her birthday party.”

“Did we get the house?” Kelley asks as she lowers the volume of the TV.

“When is Tobin’s birthday?” Christen asks.

“Later this month on the 29th but we want to surprise her with an early house party.” Kelley replies.

Vero clears her throat. “We’re going to be at Penn State with Ali and Ash by then.”

“Ya’ll better be back by my birthday.” Kelley jokingly says then turns back to Kling. “So Kling, do we have a location?”

“Yeah but some girls will need to cancel on game night to decorate the house and get everything ready for that night. Alex already said she is getting the cake and some balloons. A few of the senior girls offered to buy the drinks. “ Kling says.

“How are we going to get Tobin to the party without tipping her off that it’s her party though?” JJ asks.

“We’ll figure that out later.” Kelley says. “..Actually.. Just get a cute girl to randomly invite her to a party. Lately, she hasn't been able to say no to a pretty face.”

“I know the perfect girl.” Kling stands up and pulls her phone out. She walks towards the front door with her phone against her ear, “Hey Ariel, I have another favor to ask...” 


	12. The Diner

Vero opens their hotel door and walks in, turning on the lights along the way. She sits down on the bed as Christen sets down their luggage on the chair in the corner of the room.

Christen walks over to the bed and sits down after slipping off her shoes. She sighs in content as she leans back on the headboard. Vero sits quietly at the foot of the bed as Christen turns on the tv and starts flipping through the channels. A couple minutes into a late night talk show, Vero’s phone starts beeping and she quickly takes it out of her pocket to turn off the sound.

Christen sighs very audibly .

“Oh great, this again..” Vero says. She rolls her eyes and stares at the ceiling like she is silently pleading to the heavens for a quiet night instead of this same old argument. She lets out a sigh. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to start up with this shit right now.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Christen says curtly.

Vero looks back down as she quickly replies to the text, sets her phone down on the bed and turns to look at Christen. “Are you ever going to get over it?”

“Over what? Over the fact that she kissed you or the fact that you are STILL texting her instead of being HERE in the present.. with ME, your girlfriend. Why can’t you understand that it makes me a little uncomfortable? It would have been easier to ignore the fact that you guys text so much if she hadn’t practically had her tongue down your throat only a few months ago.” Christen says as she crosses her arms.

“Yeah, well I’ll stop when you stop whatever is going on between you and Tobin.” Vero mumbles. She slaps her hand to her mouth and through her finger apologizes, “Shit. I’m sorr-”

“Oh my god! Are you fuckin’ kidding me Vero! Nothing is going on between me and Tobin. I told you that already.” Christen sits up and starts putting on her shoes. “You’ve been crazy jealous since you left to Sweden and I get that the distance made you feel that way but I’ve never given you any reason to doubt my loyalty. I figured it would pass as soon as we were in the same area code or even same country but it hasn’t and I can’t keep stroking your ego and reassuring you that you’re the only one I want. You need to grow up and you need to trust me.  I’m not saying I don’t get jealous too, because I do, I’m just not as vocal as you. You make it so well known and sometimes it’s a little embarrassing when we’re out-” Vero’s phone lights up with another text and Christen stops talking. She stands up and grabs the car keys on the nightstand. She’s tired of coming in second to someone who isn’t even here. She’s had enough and just needs to walk off her frustration before she does something she might regret.

“Where are you going? It’s almost midnight.” Vero asks as she too gets up.

“I don’t know, out. But go ahead and talk to your ‘friend’. I’m just not going to stay here while you do. I’m not in the mood to keep arguing about any of this stupid shit again. I’m fuckin’ tired of it.” Christen walks around Vero and towards the door.

“I don’t have to text back. I can turn it off if you want.” Vero says as she shoves her phone back in her pocket and reaches out to grab Christen’s hand to stop her from walking out.

Christen turns to look at Vero and down at her hand in Vero’s light grip. “How about I give you some alone time so you can get it out of your system tonight? Because we can’t keep fighting about this.” She pulls her hand back. “You know, while your at it, ask her to help you work through whatever problems you have with Tobin.” Christen says before walking out of the hotel room and slamming the door shut.

*

Tobin walks out into the mostly empty parking lot, more exhausted than she has ever been. She drags her feet as she walks towards her car and contemplates not stopping by the diner to get Kelley’s pie but when she checks the time on her phone she sees a text notification. It’s from Kelley. Tobin gets in her car before opening the message. She laughs as she sees the word pie with the cherry emojis before and after each letter.

“Ugh. Fine.” She says to herself as she sets her phone in the cup holder. She could just stop and pick up the pie and hurry home to rid herself of the light layer of dirt and dust that currently covered all her clothes and her exposed skin. She leans over to the glove compartment to grab a packet of face wipes to at least clean herself up a bit before driving off. She reaches the diner in no time since all the streets were empty and all the traffic lights turned green before she even reached the white lines of the crosswalks.

As soon as Tobin walks in she notices a head full of luscious brown curls and her heart begins to pound a little faster. She isn’t sure if she should call out just to see if it’s actually Christen. The waitress comes out from behind the counter to greet Tobin before she can possibly make a fool of herself in front of a random stranger who probably just stopped by for a quick meal.

“Hey Tobin!” The waitress says gleefully.

Tobin continues to stare at the person in the booth as she greets the waitress. She has been coming to this diner for months now and she always seems to forget the waitress’ name. The only waitress that knows her order but she can’t seem to be bothered to try and remember her name right now.

“Oh hey,” Tobin turns to the waitress and tries to be subtle as she looks down to read her name tag. “...Ella.”

Tobin turns back to look at the booth and this time Christen is staring back with a wide smile on her face as she waves at her. Tobin smiles back and waves as she continues to talk to Ella, “Can you just bring me my usual and a decaf cup of coffee?” 

Tobin turns to walk away but Ella taps her shoulder and she turns back to the waitress. 

“Can I talk to you before you leave?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

Tobin turns around and walks away from Ella towards the booth and slides in on the opposite side, facing Christen. “Hey West Coast!”

“East Coast.” Christen replies as she gives Tobin a little nod and a smile.

“So what are you doing here this late? Where’s Vero?” Tobin asks as she looks around the mostly empty diner as a two truckers walk in and sit at the counter.

“I..She..” Christen bites her lip nervously as she looks down at her now cold and half empty cup of coffee in her hands. “We got into a little argument, I walked out and left her in the hotel room. I don’t want to talk about it though.” She mumbles and takes a sip before looking up at Tobin. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a puppy to go home to?”

“Yeah but Kelley ‘ _needs_ ’ her cherr-.” Tobin looks at her as Christen takes another sip, sets her cup down and starts rubbing the edge of the cup with her thumb. Sad eyes fixated on the light brown liquid in the cup. 

“Her what?” Christen asks after several seconds of silence.

Tobin’s eyebrows furrow in concern, “Oh... I see it now.”

“See what?” Christen asks as she looks back up at Tobin.

Tobin puts her elbow on the table and rests her chin on the palm of her hand and she softly replies, “Chocolate Lab.”

Ella sets down Tobin’s waffles and plate of bacon. Tobin and Christen break eye contact when Ella clears her throat.

“I’ll bring you your cup of coffee right now. Decaf right?” Ella smiles at Tobin.

Tobin looks up at her. “Yeah. Um.. can you also bring me an extra plate?”

Ella looks over at Christen before replying to Tobin. “Sure. I also saved you two slices of cherry pie for Kelley. Do you want me to bring that out right now too?”

Tobin tilts her head to the side in confusion as she asks, “How did you-”

“You always pick up some pie for Kelley when you're here. You also always ask for two slices when the pie of the day is cherry. It’s my job to know my regulars and keep them happy.” Ella winks. “I’ll get you that extra plate right now.” She turns around and walks back to the kitchen.

Christen clears her throat and asks, “So..you come here often?” Tobin grins at her. “Ok that totally sounded like a lame pick up line.” Christen chuckles.

Tobin laughs and picks up a strip of bacon. “Yeah, super lame but it’s understandable. You’ve been out of the game for a while.” Tobin takes a bite of the bacon and pushes the plate to the middle of the table. “Want some?”

“Thanks.” Christen grabs one and takes a small bite.

Ella comes back with the extra plate and Tobin’s coffee. “Here. Can I get you guys anything else?”

Tobin turns to Christen. “Do you want more coffee or something else? My treat.”

“Chocolate milk?” Christen says a bit unsure. She isn’t sure if she should stay out later than she already has but Vero hasn’t called or texted her yet. Maybe she had already fallen asleep so it wouldn’t matter how late Christen returned to their hotel room as long as she was there when her girlfriend woke up in the morning.

"And and extra fork please."

Ella goes back into the kitchen to get Christen her glass of chocolate milk and the fork. Tobin grabs the extra plate and puts one of the waffles on it with a few of the freshly cut strawberries on the side. She slides it to Christen as she hands her the fork. 

“Here. Eat something.”

Tobin grabs the syrup from Christen and pours a bit over her waffle as Ella reaches their booth, gives Tobin the extra fork and sets down Christen’s chocolate milk. “Here you go ladies. Everything good?”

Tobin covers her mouth as she chews on a piece of bacon and replies, “Yeah, Thanks Ella.”

They eat in silence for a few minutes until Christen speaks up.

“Thanks for the waffle.., and the bacon, and the chocolate milk.”

“You’re welcome. You just looked a little hungry when my food came. Why didn’t you order anything when you got here? They have a bunch of really good food.” Tobin pops a small piece of strawberry into her mouth.

“I walked out without my purse and I could only find enough change in my dad’s car for a cup of coffee.” Christen shrugs as she stabs a strawberry and then a small piece of the waffle. She brings the fork up to her mouth and a little droplet of syrup falls on her shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tobin asks as she looks down at her plate and pushes a piece of waffle through a small puddle of syrup.

Christen drinks the rest of her chocolate milk before replying. “It really wasn’t a big deal, I was just tired of her constantly texting her friend Jasmine and just getting really over possessive today. The whole jealousy thing makes me feel like she doesn’t trust me around anyone and that pisses me off.”

“I kind of understand you getting mad at her today for texting her friend, I mean I did see her on her phone most of the day but who could she possibly be jealous of today? Both of you were with friends all day today. Unless you guys went out after I got called in to work.” Tobin grabs the last piece of bacon, rips it in half and gives Christen one piece before shoving her piece in her mouth.

“We didn’t go anywhere else today. She just doesn’t really know...” Christen pauses. She doesn’t know how to tell Tobin that Vero is worried that she will come between them. She doesn’t want Tobin to become distant because she has really grown to love their simple and easy friendship. This has been the fastest friendship Christen has ever formed and she doesn’t want it to become complicated just because her girlfriend is the jealous type. “She doesn’t know you but I think if she got to know you better she wouldn’t be saying there is something going on between me and you.”

Tobin chokes a bit on the bacon she had been chewing and quickly reaches for her coffee to take a big gulp. It has cooled down significantly since her first sip so it doesn’t burn as it slides down her throat and helps the piece of bacon also go down.

“Tobin, are you ok?”

Tobin coughs off the the side then with almost tearful eyes looks at Christen and asks, “W...why? Why does she think there is something going on between us? Is it because I picked you up and said ‘ I could just kiss you’? You know I didn’t mean it like that right?” She stutters at first but then the words come rushing out and Tobin isn’t even sure if Christen got everything but she hopes she did because Tobin was currently having a hard time breathing without wincing as the cool air passes through her slightly raw throat.

Christen reaches over the table and places a hand on top of Tobin’s as she tries to calm her down. 

Tobin tries to inhale slowly as she feels her heart beat faster at the contact. She tells herself that it’s quickening pace is the result of almost possibly dying and not because of the contact. For the sake of their friendship, at this moment, Tobin couldn't even entertain the idea that maybe Christen was unraveling all the hard work she had put into getting over her little crush with just one simple gesture, something as simple as trying to comfort a friend.

“Tobin, relax. It’s just Vero being Vero. I told you she gets a little jealous. She’s been like this since she’s went to Sweden. Honestly it’s not news to me that she would say something like that. For a hot second she even thought something was going on between me and Kel but I shot that down real quick, like I did tonight when she brought our friendship into question too.”

Tobin looks at Christen’s perfectly manicured hand on hers because she feels green eyes on her try to decipher the real reason she just completely freaked out or maybe that’s just her anxiety making her worry over a simple look, either way Tobin can’t let that happen. Any other friend would have said ‘ What The Fuck’ or laughed it off but she didn’t. Now she can’t help but think she might have made the gears in Christen’s head start rolling and sooner or later Christen will process it all and find out about her crush. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you problems with your girlfriend. I’ll completely back off if you want me to.” Tobin says sadly as she begins to pull her hand back slowly.

Christen tightens her grip on Tobin’s hand.

“Tobin, you are my friend and I don’t know what I would do without you.” Christen pulls Tobin’s hand to get her attention. “Hey look at me.”

Christen smiles at her as Tobin slowly lifts her head up.

“Tobin, I like talking to you, texting you, I love the pictures of Skip you send me at random times and I would hate to miss out on the Kelley/Hope gossip so don’t stop. Ok?”

Tobin breathes a sigh of relief and smiles back at Christen, “But what about Vero?” Tobin’s smile falters as she asks tentatively.

“Don’t worry about her. She’ll get over it soon. I’ll talk to her when I get back. I’m sure you guys will get along well, you just haven’t spent much time together.” A wide smile spreads across Christen’s face as she continues, “I’m willing to start planning play-dates for both of you if necessary.” Christen laughs and Tobin can’t help but laugh with her. Christen lets go of Tobin’s hand and sits back as she asks, “ Are you coming to breakfast with us in the morning?”

Ella walks over to their booth with a white box and hands it over to Tobin. “Uh..Here is the cherry pie. I’m going home as soon as Tiana gets here... so can I talk to you right now, before I leave?”

Tobin grabs the box from Ella and sets it down on the table next to her empty plate.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Ella puts her hands in the pockets of her apron. “Actually, can I talk to you in private?” Ella says as her eyes shift to Christen then back to Tobin.

“Sure.” Tobin slides out of the booth. “Lets walk to the cash register so I can pay the bill and leave you a tip before you clock out.” Tobin places a hand on the table and leans over to Christen while pushing her plate closer towards her. “I’ll be back in a bit, finish your waffle.”

Ella waits behind the cash register while Tobin makes her way towards the counter.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Tobin asks as she pulls out her wallet from her back pocket and takes out $25 dollars to hand to Ella. “I’ll pay for her cup of coffee too,” Tobin points to Christen with her thumb. “and you can keep the change.”

Tobin leans her hip against the counter as she waits for the usually very talkative Ella to actually speak.

“I..uh. Here.” Ella slides a small piece of paper to Tobin. 

Tobin opens the folded piece of paper. “Your number?”

“Tiana asked Kelley if you were seeing anyone. When she said you didn’t have a girlfriend, Tiana told me she was going to give you my number and tell you I had this HUGE crush on you if I didn’t do it first so...” 

Tobin plays with the paper and teasingly asks, “..You have a huge crush me?”

“Ok, it’s not like a _super huge_ , but yeah.. I have a bit of a crush on you.” Ella hands Tobin her receipt. “You don’t have to call me if you don’t want to, it doesn’t have to be a big deal-.”

Tobin takes the receipt, crumples it and shoves it in her pocket. “I’m not looking for anything serious but I’ll call you later this week if you just want to hang out.”

“YES! Yeah, I’d love to hang out with you.” Ella says eagerly as she grins from ear to ear.

Christen comes up from behind Tobin and pokes her hip with the box containing Kelley’s pie. Tobin turns to face Christen, her gorgeous curls are now pulled back and in a pony tail, no longer framing her face or hiding the almost faded hickey on her neck, a few centimeters below her ear.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but I just got a text from Vero so I should probably go. Here’s Kelley’s pie.” Tobin grabs the box while Christen turns to Ella as she begins to count the coins in her hand. “How much was the coffee?”

“Don’t worry about it, Tobin paid for it already.”

“Oh. Thanks Tobin. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Christen leaves the change in the tip jar on the counter and turns to walk away.

Tobin places a hand on Christen’s shoulder to hold her back. “Wait, I’ll walk you out. It’s pretty late.”

Christen turns back to Tobin as she pulls her keys from her pocket. “Tobin my car is just right there-”

“I’m walking you out, ok” Tobin turns to Ella and starts walking backwards toward the door with Christen. “I’ll call you ok?”

“Ok.” Ella says as she waves goodbye to Tobin.

Christen pushes the door open as Tobin spins around on her heel to walk out into the normally dimly lit parking lot with her. The soft light of the full moon making it easier for them to avoid the discarded gum on the walkway as they walk towards the parking lot.

“So you got her number?” Christen asks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop I just didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.”

“She just gave it to me. She’s nice and all but I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” Tobin says. “And you didn’t actually say ‘goodbye’ you said ‘I’ll text you tomorrow’.

Christen lightly pushes Tobin as they reach the car and she clicks a button to unlock it. She opens the door before turning to face Tobin. “Well, what are you looking for?”

_You._

It’s the only word that’s in Tobin’s mind as she looks at Christen’s face in the faint moonlight. Her heart starts to beat faster, almost painfully as it pounds in her chest, against her rib cage. This time she can’t blame it’s rapid beating on anything else but the crush that is still going strong.

Christen’s phone cuts through the silence as it starts ringing in her pocket and startles them both. Christen quickly pulls it out, silences the ringing and looks up at Tobin. “Sorry.”

“I’ll talk to you later Christen. Goodnight.” Tobin turns around to walk to her car as she hears Christen say goodnight then seconds later answer her phone.

“I’m on my way.”

*

Kelley takes out her keys as she gets closer to the apartment with Skip. She nears the corner of the apartment when Skip starts to tug at the leash.

“I know we’re home Skip but you need to chill.” Kelley grips the leash tighter but Skip manages to slip off the collar.

“Fuck!”

He runs towards the person sitting at the foot of the stairs that lead to the second floor apartments.

“Don’t worry, I got him. Hey buddy.” Hope grabs Skip and lets him settle on her lap while she pets him.

“What are you doing here so late Hope?” Kelley says as she walks past her, opens the door and flicks on the light switches for the living room and for the light bulb that hangs above the front door. “Come on Skip. Inside, now.”

Skip runs inside and Kelley closes the door before he can come back outside. She watches as Hope gets up and quickly dusts herself off as she walks towards Kelley.

Hope tucks her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and looks up at Kelley with pleading eyes before asking, “Are you going to invite me in?”

Kelley crosses her arms over her chest. “It’s late. What are you doing here?”

“Well it’s not that late if you took Skip out for a walk.” Hope replies.

“Tobin left me in charge of him while she covered for Mark. You would know that if you had come to dinner or I don’t know answer my texts..” Kelley says. She hears whimpers coming from the other side of the door and she sighs, “Ok. Fine, come in.”

They walk in and Skip sits patiently near the glass door. Kelley walks over to let him out while Hope closes and locks the front door. Kelley walks over to the fridge while Hope stands near the front door watching her.

“Do you want some water?” Kelley asks as she pulls out a water bottle for herself.

“Uh, no thanks.” Hope points to the dining table. “May I?”

“Sure, make yourself at home.” Kelley walks over to sit in front of Hope expecting her to start talking but after a few silent minutes Kelley clears her throat and asks, “So, What’s going on? Why are you here? I figured you didn’t want to see me today since you’ve been ignoring all my texts and calls since you left this morning. Did I..” Kelley’s feign anger falters and she looks down at her hands as she picks at the label on the water bottle. “..did I do something wrong?”

Hope quickly shakes her head. “No. Kelley you did nothing wrong. You’re... perfect. I’m the one that fucked up.” Hope takes out her phone and sets it on the table in front of Kelley.

“What do you mean you fucked up?” Kelley eyes the phone then stares at Hope waiting for her to explain.

“Before you turn it on you have to promise me you will listen to everything I have to say, ok?” Hope asks.

Kelley picks up the phone and turns it on. Hope reaches over the table and covers the screen before it finishes loading.

“Kelley, I need you promise you’ll hear me out!” Hope says in a panic.

“Yeah, I promise.” Kelley says as she removes Hope’s hand. The screen is filled with text notifications and more continue to pop up on the screen. “Well, someone is popular.”

Hope hangs her head and sighs, “I should have told you about her earlier bu-”

Kelley interrupts Hope, “Told me about who? Have you been cheating on me?”

“Kelley, I would never!” Hope says. 

Kelley unlocks Hope’s phone and opens up the texts. The first picture she sees isn’t as bad as the two she sees above it as she scrolls up. She continues to scroll but she can’t be bothered to read the texts as her vision is beginning to be blurred by unshed tears. She blinks and a tear falls on the phone’s screen, she wipes it away and continues to scroll. She feels like it’s a never ending torture to scroll through it all so she sets the phone down on the table but she can’t look away from the picture of Hope at a football game with some blonde girl on her shoulders, both dressed up in what Kelley assumes is their high school colors.

Hope can tell by the look on Kelley’s face and the tears already streaming down her cheeks that she has seen the worst of the texts.

Kelley sniffles and asks, “Well then who is she?” Kelley pushes the phone back towards Hope.

Hope looks down at the picture Kelley had stopped on and presses the home button to get rid of the picture. “That...,” Hope breathes in and continues, ”That is the baggage I brought into our relationship. I probably should have told you sooner but I was too afraid...”

“Afraid of what?”

“Tell me the truth, would you have agreed to date me if I had told you 2 or 3 dates in that I had a crazy ex that just couldn’t let me go? That she always seems to get my phone number and sends me shit like this all the time when she finds out I’m getting close to someone? That she is so persistent that no matter how many times I block her, she always manages to contact me one way or another? Would you have said yes when I asked you to be my girlfriend if you knew all that?” Hope slumps down as tears begin to flow out. “Kelley...I love you, I love you so much and that’s why I was so afraid to tell you about this. I’m afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore if you knew this was the type of baggage I was dealing with. You wouldn’t be the first to leave because of this...”

Kelley stands up and walks over to Hope to pull her into a tight embrace. She buries her face into Hope’s neck and breathes in slowly. She places a small kiss there and pulls back a bit to speak. “I love you too and a crazy ex isn’t going to keep me from loving you.”

Hope’s phone starts buzzing on the table and she groans. Kelley backs away from Hope but intertwines their fingers and squeezes Hope’s hand lightly as she picks up the phone. “You need to change your number. ASAP. Get a restraining order too, or are you going to keep changing your number until she gets tired of harassing you?”

Hope tugs Kelley’s hand to lead her to the couch as she sighs. “I’m in the process of getting one. I know I have to get a new number, but it’s going to be the second time I do it since we started seeing each other and I hate having to tell everyone I changed my number again. It’s super annoying having to call or text and wondering if I’m missing anyone.”

Hope sits down and Kelley joins her. Hope slings her arm across Kelley’s shoulder and Kelley leans into Hope’s side, the phone still buzzing in Kelley’s hand until she shuts it off again and shoves it in her pocket.

“Wait when was the first-”

“That day I was late to pick you up and Tobin had already left. I told you telemarketers were annoying me but it was actually her. Usually it takes her a couple months to start up with her stupid shit but I think my grandma might have said something during a bingo night with her grandparents and that’s how she found out. Our grandparents are neighbors, they actually introduced us to each other during a 4th of July BBQ.” Hope explains.

Kelley smiles. “You told your grandma about me?”

Hope smiles back. “Why wouldn’t I tell my grandma I got the cutest girl in the whole school to go out with me?”

“Aww, babe.” Kelley presses a quick kiss on Hope’s cheek.

“... and she kind of sniffed it out. You know I call her pretty much everyday and since I started seeing you our conversations have gotten shorter. I don’t tell her absolutely everything I did that day anymore.”

“Because occasionally the thing you did that day was me?” Kelley says with a mischievous grin.

Hope laughs, “Yeah, pretty much.”

Kelley lays down on the couch and rests her head on Hope’s lap. 

Hope begins to stroke Kelley’s hair. “Kelley, I have to tell you something else.”

Kelley turns to look up at Hope. “Good or Bad?”

“A bit of both? I can’t do breakfast with your BFF. I told my grandma I was stopping by tomorrow afternoon to deal with this EX thing and I have to leave early in the morning if I want to make it back before it gets too dark.”

“Hmm, well ok. I’ll just drag Tobin along then, but I can’t promise that Christen isn’t going to hold this over your head when she finally meets you. She’s the type that forgives but never forgets. I suggest you ask Tobin to let you borrow Skip when you first meet her. That might distract her a bit.”

“You don’t have anything else planned for tomorrow, right?” Hope asks.

“No, just meeting up with Christen and Vero. Why?”

“Do you.. do you wanna come with me then?” 

“Are you only asking because you don’t want Christen to only be mad at you for bailing or because you actually want me to meet your grandma?” Kelley asks as she sits up.

Hope smiles. “Again.. a bit of both. My grandma has been asking about you more often. It might be less stressful to meet her on a day that isn’t a holiday, like Thanksgiving, which she is already asking me if you have plans for that day.”

Kelley eyes Hope suspiciously as she replies, “...I’m just going to meet your grandma, the rest of your family isn’t going to just pop by to say hi, this isn’t going to be a surprise ‘meet the parents’ kind of thing, right?”

“Nope, just my grandma. My parents don’t live in California, I moved in with my grandma my freshman year of high school so I could go to school here without having to pay out of state tuition. But grandma’s place is where all the major holidays a held so sooner or later you’re gonna meet every Solo in the family.”

“Ok, I’ll go with you.”

“What are you going to tell Christen?”

“Um..I’ll just send Tobin to breakfast with them. It’ll be fine.” Kelley gets up. “I’ll go pack a small bag and send Christen a text. She’ll probably read it in the morning when we’re already on the road.” Kelley heads to her room.

Tobin walks into the apartment a few minutes later as Hope flips through the channels, trying to find something other than late night infomercials.

“Hey.” Tobin greets Hope before heading to the kitchen to put Kelley’s pie in the fridge.

“Hey Tobin.”

Tobin grabs a water bottle from the fridge and walks towards the glass sliding door. “Are you staying over tonight?”

“No, I’m actually leaving in a couple minutes.”

“Hey, I know this isn’t any of my business but you guys are ok, right?” Tobin asks.

“We’re ok now.” Hope replies as she mutes the tv.

“What happened between you two today?” 

“We uh...I wouldn’t say we had an argument but she was a bit mad when I showed up like an hour ago. She didn’t invite me in until Skip was whimpering to be let out.”

“When I left for work she wasn’t mad, she was just a little sad that you didn’t come for dinner.”

“Maybe she wouldn’t have been mad if I had dropped by earlier, I gave her too much time to over think and analyze the rushed texts I sent from Aurora’s phone. I just didn’t want to ruin her day with the bomb I dropped when I got here.”

“Do you mind me asking why-”

“Why I didn’t come to dinner?... I have this crazy ex that likes to text me non-stop and I was afraid it would be a deal breaker for Kelley because it has been in the past with other girls I’ve dated. I was on my way to change my number but I knew I had to tell Kelley about the texts so she wouldn’t come across them one day and think I was messing around with someone else. I just wanted to delay what I thought would be the inevitable, that she wouldn’t want to be with me anymore but after I told her everything she was very understanding and told me to change my number.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys are ok because it would really suck if we couldn’t hang out again. Let me just say, if you guys ever split up and it’s a nasty break I’ma have to be on Kelley’s side no matter what. I like you but my loyalty lies with Kel.”

“I totally get it, she’s your best friend.” 

Kelley walks out into the living room with a small backpack. She pats Tobin’s back as she says, “Hey Tobin! Just the person I wanted to see.”

*

Christen walks up to the door and knocks. Vero opens the door and quickly pulls Christen into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” Vero says softly into Christen neck and backs up to look into her eyes. “I shouldn’t keep implying that you and Tobin have a thing. I told Jasmine to cool it with the texts since I only have at least two months to enjoy my beautiful girlfriend on a regular basis and I want to make the most of it.”

“Thank you,” Christen pulls back, reaches down to grab Vero’s hand as she walks in and lightly kicks the door shut. She leads her to the foot of the bed and they sit down, their bodies slightly turned towards the other. “and I should apologize to you too. I shouldn’t have walked out when we should have been working through this together. I’m sorry.”

Vero pulls Christen in for a quick kiss. “So, where did you go?”

“I drove around for a bit until I found a 24 hour diner. You’ll never guess who walked in just as I was thinking of leaving.” Christen says gleefully as she pats Vero’s thigh.

“Who?”

“Tobin. She had just left work and stopped by to get Kelley some pie-”

“Does she know the reason why you were out by yourself?” Vero asks.

“I didn’t want to talk about it at first, but I did end up telling her you were a bit jealous of all the time we spend talking and texting each other. She nearly choked when I told her you thought there was something between me and her.” Christen squeezes Vero’s hand. “See even she thinks it’s ridiculous. She was completely willing to back off because it made you feel uncomfortable but I told her I would talk to you. You guys just need to hang out more, or talk more. You should join me on our skype chats more often so that you can get to know her better. I’m sure she would like to get to know you better too.” Christen says as she plays with Vero’s hand.

“Yeah, ok. I can do that. Is she getting breakfast with us in the morning? I want to apologize to her too, for being a bit standoffish when she greeted me.”

“You know, I asked her but the waitress stopped by our table before she could answer me. She actually just wanted to give Tobin her number.”

“Oh, well if she isn’t there then I’ll just apologize whenever you skype with her again.” Vero gets up and pulls Christen up with her. “It’s late, you should get ready for bed.”

“Yes boss.” 

Christen takes a small step towards the bathroom and Vero smacks her butt. “I’ll wait for you in bed.”

When Christen walks back into the room Vero is on her phone again. Christen turns off the lights and that makes Vero look up.

“I-” Christen opens her mouth to complain but instead just sighs. “Nevermind.”

She walks over to the bed and gets under the covers. Vero places her phone back on the night stand and throws her arm over Christen’s waist to pull her in.

“Tell me.” Vero whispers.

Christen turns around to face Vero. “I want you to turn off your phone or at least put it on airplane mode when we are in bed together.”

“Can I ask why?” Vero asks as she strokes Christen’s face. 

“The last two nights that we fucked your phone went off a couple times. It’s hard to cum when your girlfriend’s hand isn’t doing the work. You completely stopped for a few seconds and if that wasn’t distracting enough, your ringtone was enough to kill the mood.”

“Is that why you faked it last night?”

Christen turns her head to stare at the ceiling before speaking,“...You noticed?”

“Of course I noticed but I thought you were just tired and wanted to get it over with or something.”

Christen looks back at Vero. “Oh god no! Never! I would very much like to cum every time we have sex. Who wouldn’t?”

Vero slides the hand that is resting on Christen hip over her stomach and starts off by sliding the tip of two fingers into Christen’s PJ shorts. Vero pulls back the elastic waistband and releases it. It hits against Christen’s soft skin with a low sound muffled by the thick blanket. 

“Well then...” 

Vero leans closer and kisses Christen as her hand slides back in. Vero nudges Christen’s legs apart with her knee. She runs her fingers through Christen’s small patch of perfectly trimmed pubic hair before cupping soft heated flesh just a little farther down, and slipping two finger between her warm slick folds. 

“Let me make up for it right now.”

*

Tobin’s hand shakes as she takes another sip of her coffee. She pulls her phone out and checks the time for the 100th time that morning. 4:15 am. She goes into her contacts and quickly finds Lauren’s number.

_“Hiya Toby. What are you doing up this early?”_

“I’m freaking out Lauren!” Tobin says as she sets her coffee down on the kitchen counter.

_“Same thing as last time?”_

“Yeah, it’s about her again. Are you tired of hearing about it?” Tobin asks.

_“I’m here to help, so tell me what’s going on?”_

“I’m supposed to meet her and her girlfriend for breakfast because Kelley left with her girlfriend Hope last night. Kelley was supposed to take them but she told Christen that I was going instead.” Tobin takes a deep breath and continues. “What the fuck am I- Fuck! Lauren. What am I going to do? Breakfast with my crush and her girlfriend that already thinks something is going on between us. My poker face is good but she’ll sniff it out, literally. I’ve changed my shirt 3 times already because I’ve been stress sweating through all of them since I woke up 2 hours ago! Oh yeah. Did I tell you I've only slept for 2 hours? I’m a fuckin’ mess right now. I’m not a functional human being this morning. What am I going to do? I can’t take them out for breakfast. Lauren, tell me what to do please.” Tobin’s is now breathing as if she had just ran 10 miles non-stop.

_“Ok, first calm down and take a few deep breaths.”_

Tobin breathes in and out. “Now what?” She asks, even though she hasn’t calmed down one bit.

_“Call her and tell her you’re sick.”_

“Oh my god... why didn’t I think of that earlier? It’s so simple. You know, I’ll just send her a text right now, I don't think I'll be able to calmly talk to her on the phone. I've had a bunch of coffee already.”

_“Not right now Tobin. It’s too early she is probably still asleep. Wait until 6 am at least.”_

“You’re right, I’ll just hang out with Skip til then. Thanks Lauren. Really thank you for dealing with me and all this crazy drama.” Tobin sighs and heads to the glass door to let Skip in and sits on the couch.

_“You’re welcome. So uh now that I have you on the phone.. have you been keeping up your training? You gotta stay in top shape 365 days a year. I heard a few rumors of a new coach taking over the NT soon and I’m sure they will be out scouting.”_

Tobin feels like all the oxygen has been removed from her lungs and from the room. Her body instantly feels cold like it’s been drain of all it’s blood. She begins to hear her heart beat in her ears. Skip senses her discomfort and barks at her. It pulls her back out and she’s able to breath again but only shallow breaths. 

“Sorry Lauren I gotta go Skip just pooped on the floor I’ll call you later bye.” Tobin blurts out the lie and hastily ends the call before Lauren can respond. 

Tobin walks back to her room and opens the drawer on the night stand. She takes out everything until she reaches the bottle in the back and heads back to the kitchen. Her chest still aching as she pours out what little bit of coffee she had left in the cup in the sink and pours the brown liquid in. She downs it in a few gulps as she tries to also slow down her breathing. She lifts her arms over her head but the pain in her chest is too much. She slowly walks back to her room with Skip a few steps behind her. 

Tobin puts the bottle back in the drawer and sits down on her bed with Skip. She sits still as she feels her body cramp up a bit. After a few minutes she is able to open her hands. She stares at her trembling hands for what she thinks is a few minutes. Taking long breathes in as she tries to lower her heart rate to something more normal until her phone rings in the living room. Her back and legs a little stiff as she gets up and heads to the couch where she left her phone.

_“Good morning, Tobin! Um did you forget about this morning?”_

“What?” Tobin’s voice is hoarse and she clears her throat before speaking again. “Who’s this?”

_“...Christen. Is everything ok? ”_

Tobin brings her phone down to check the time. 8 am. “Shit. I was going to text you earlier to cancel. I’m sorry Christen. I’m just not feeling well this morning. Um. If you want, you can stop by and pick up the cash Kel left so you can get yourself and Vero some breakfast.”

_“Oh..Ok. We’ll be there in a bit then.”_

Tobin grabs the cash from the empty cookie jar on the kitchen counter and sits back down on the couch, her back against the armrest and her knees up against her chest. She turns on the tv and absentmindedly stares at a random kids show with a lot of calming soft pastel colors while she waits for Christen to drop by. The theme song starts off slow signaling the start of the next episode. As soon as the songs ends she hears a knock at the door.

“Tobin?” Christen yells out.

“It’s open!” Tobin yells back.

Christen opens the door and walks in with a small grocery bag in her hand. “Hey, how are you feeling?” Christen asks tenderly.

Tobin looks down at Skip as he looks up at Christen from the floor. Not making a single move to get up, which is strange for him since he loves to jump at everyone that walks through the door. He does whimper and Tobin stretches out her legs.

“I’ve felt better.” Tobin pats her thighs and calls to Skip, “Come on up you big baby.” Skip jumps up eagerly and lays down on Tobin’s lap. Tobin pulls out the cash and holds it up to Christen.

Christen waves it off. “We ate already. Stopped by the diner and ordered as soon as we were seated. We figured you would show up a little late but when we finished eating and you still hadn’t called or texted I got a little worried. I just stopped by to give you this.” Christen pulls out a can of chicken noodle soup and hands it to Tobin.

“Thank you.”

“I would have rather brought you some Caldo De Pollo but I don’t think any mexican restaurants are open this early. And I don’t have time to stay here and make you some. Sorry.”

“No, this is good to-”

Tobin gets cut off by a car’s horn.

“Sorry, I left Vero in the car. I told her to give me a sign if I stayed in here for too long, we have a plane to catch later tonight and we still have to pack. I was expecting a text or call, not that.” Christen says as she kneels down by Tobin and pats Skip's head. “Take care of your mom Skip, and make sure she eats her soup.”

Tobin watches Skip pay close attention to Christen as if he understood what she just said and it makes her laugh. The nerves from a few hours ago completely gone now and replaced with a warm feeling in her chest.

Christen turns to look up at Tobin. “And you.” Christen points at Tobin. “You keep me updated on how you’re feeling, ok?”

Tobin smiles down at her. “I will.”

Vero hits the horn again, this time a little longer.

Christen gets up. “I better get going.” She leans down and kisses Tobin’s forehead. 

Tobin stiffens but then relaxes, “Oh...okay.”

“Oh. Sorry, it’s just what I do with my sisters and Kelley when they’re sick.”

“It’s fine. It feels nice to be taken care of-”

Another honk.

Tobin laughs, “Even if it’s for a few minutes.”

“...Ima kill her.” Christen pats Skips head one more time then pats Tobin’s too as she walks to the door. “I’ll call you when we stop for gas to check up on you in a couple hours.”

“You don’t have to I’m already feeling a lot better. Thanks for the soup though.” Tobin waves the can.

“See ya in a couple months Tob.” Christen says as she waves goodbye

“Bye Chris.”

Tobin no longer feels the ache in her chest, and her breathing goes back to normal. She wonders why they have gone from minor inconveniences to a whole shit storm that is harder to reel back in. Christen’s presence might have calmed her like nothing else has these last couple months she’d been struggling with these... small panic attacks but Tobin needs to find another way of dealing with them. Aside from a few shots of whiskey that used to calm her nerves a bit. She isn't always going to have Christen to set her mind and nerves at ease when the stress becomes too much and triggers another panic attack. Tobin didn't even have Christen now, she belonged to someone else and by the looks of it, that wasn't going to change any time soon.


	13. Pillow Princess

Kelley leaves JJ in charge of the freshman setting up the net and marches straight to Kling.

“I got a back up just in case your girl over there can’t get Tobin to the party.”

“What? Who?”

“The waitress from the diner. Tobin has been hanging out with her recently so I figured she can call her over to Ariel’s place if Tobin doesn’t take your bait.”

“You guys go to that diner at least once a week and you can’t remember the girl’s name? Her name is Ella and we don't need a backup. My girl has this. Look.” Kling points to the picnic table where the girls already set the cooler and bags. She makes a motion with her hand as if she were casting a fishing rod.  

Tobin ties Skip’s leash to the leg of the table and takes a quick glance at the red head taking a water bottle out of the cooler.

“Hi. You’re Tobin right?” The red head asks as she holds the cool bottle against the back of her neck.

“Yeah, and you are?” Tobin stands up and her eyes scan the girls toned body in tight jean shorts, black crop top, and gray cardigan

Ariel flips her wavy red hair to the side as she answers, “Ariel. I’m Meghan’s friend. She said you guys needed an extra girl for game night and I don't have much going on until later tonight.”

Tobin only briefly considers telling her that game night is just for the team and that they can managed being one girl short but she rakes her eyes over the girl one more time and decides she doesn't mind the newcomer. “Yeah we could use an extra body. You ..uh... staying for lunch too?”

Kelley and Kling begin walking over to them. Kling whispers to Kelley,  “She took the bait…” Kling grins as she brings her hands up and starts making a gesture with her hands like she was reeling in a fish. “That was easy. You can call your girl off.”

Kelley rolls her eyes, “This wasn’t a competition.”

“What isn't a competition?” Tobin asks as she glances between them.

They respond in unison, “Nothing”

“…Ok?” Tobin looks at them suspiciously and turns back to Ariel. “So are you staying for lunch?”

Ariel smiles, “Sure.”

“Ok cool. Come on. You can be on my team for the first round.”

“Alright, I'm just going to set my bag and sweater on the table.”

Tobin walks over to JJ and they start playing one on one as the rest of the girls start arriving.

Ariel takes her cardigan off and sets her bag on the table. “So how am I doing? Do you think she will need more convincing or should I just ask her now?

“You’re doing great, I think you've definitely got her. You can ask her when we head back to the apartment seeing as she already invited you to eat with us. If you invite her out of nowhere she might get a bit suspicious and it could ruin the whole surprise.” Kling says.

*

Tobin serves the ball, it goes to the far left and way out of bounds. It bounces a few feet then rolls towards a group of girls walking by.

“I got it.” Ariel calls out as she runs towards the girls, her red hair in a ponytail swinging from side to side. She waves to one of the girls who then picks up the ball. 

Tobin checks her phone for the 5th time since they started the game, the lack of messages doesn't alarm her but the time does. “Shit, guys I have to go. The food isn’t going to prepare itself. 

JJ puts her hands on her hips, “What about the game? You're seriously going to let Kel's team win?”

“Have someone from Kel's team step aside? I don’t know, but I have food to make.” Tobin grabs her keys and sandals from the table. She points at Skip as she slips on her shoes, “Kel don’t forget to bring back Skip.”

“I know.” Kelley turns back to the group of girls as Tobin begins to carefully sprint back towards the apartment. She waits until Tobin is far enough that she doesn’t need to whisper. “Kling call Alex and ask her how things are going-”

Ariel walks back, the volleyball in her hands and the 5 girls behind her. She interrupts Kelley, “Where’s Tobin? I want to ask her if some of the girls from my team could join.”

“She went back to the apartment to make lunch.” 

Kling glances at the girls behind Ariel then nudges JJ and Kelley with her elbows. “Well since Tobin is gone… soccer team VS swim team? You have enough girls for a solid team. What do you say?”

JJ leans over towards Kling. “Don’t we need Ariel to get some one on one with Tobin? You know, so she could get her to her surprise birthday party.”

“So this is the secret plan you had for today? Volleyball with the soccer team and a birthday party. No invite?” One of Ariel's friends asks.

Kelley steps up. “It’s a surprise birthday party for a friend. Ariel is kind enough to let us use her house and help us trick our friend into going without us having to blindfold her.”

“How about a quick game then? First team to get 5 points wins. If you guys win,” Kling points to Ariel's teammates, “then you get an invite.”

“And if  _you_  win?”

“Which will most likely be the case…” Kelley says as she crosses her arms and stands straighter.

“Oh really?”

“ _WHEN_ we win then you guys have to show up to our first home game next year to cheer us on. Face paint and pom poms, the whole nine yards. Deal?” Kling forward to stand with Kelley.

“Ok. Deal.”

*

Tobin takes out the paper plates and plastic cups from one of the cabinets as the doorbell rings. "Come in!" She calls out and hears the familiar sound of nails clicking on the hardwood floor seconds later.

Ariel walks in with Skip, “May I use your bathroom?” Ariel holds out Skips leash, “Kelley told me to bring him back.”

Tobin grabs the leash and points to the hallway, “It's the first door to your left.” She then leans down to unclip the leash and let’s Skip roam around the house before the rest of the girls show up.

Ariel walks out as Tobin takes out the garlic bread from the oven. “Smells good.”

“Were the girls packing up the net when you left the park?" Tobin asks as she sets the hot sheet pan on top of a towel she had set on the counter.

“No, they were just finishing up another game against some of my teammates. I never knew Meghan was that competitive.” 

“Yeah she is. She might be small but she has a lot of fire in her." Tobin pauses and turns to Ariel. "Wait your teammates? The swim team is there?”

“Some of my friends on the swim team stopped by and Meghan decided to pit the two teams against each other." Ariel shrugs. "It was perfect since you left your team minus one person. The game got pretty wild once it wasn't soccer girls against soccer girls."

Tobin grabs a wooden spoon and puts it in the pot with the sauce. “Oh shit…Who won the first round?”

“We did. I played volleyball all throughout high school with my sisters so I managed to get us the win. The game they are playing right now, who knows. Honestly I was the only thing keep us a point ahead the whole time.”

“Why did you stop?” Tobin begins to stir the sauce slowly and lowers the heat.

“Volleyball? I loved swimming more. I’d rather do something I'm passionate about for another 4 years than something I just like to do occasionally.”

“I get that. Hey, can you check if there is a corona in the fridge? Kling is going to want one when she gets back.” Tobin says as she checks on the pot with the noodles.

Ariel opens the fridge, she bends down to look at the bottom shelves and replies, “I don't see any."

Tobin turns off the stove and turns toward the fridge, her gaze lands on long smooth legs. “Well.. she’ll have to be ok with drinking a can of coke then.”

Ariel stands up and turns around after closing the fridge door. “She’ll be fine. She’s going with me to a house party later tonight.”

“Cool, Cool.” Tobin says as she tries to hide the fact that she was checking Ariel out again and that she knows she's been caught.

Ariel slowly approaches Tobin. “Are you doing anything after this?"

“Mmm, nope.” Tobin leans against the counter and Ariel stands beside her. Tobin watches as Ariel chews on her bottom lip, like she was mulling over what to say next.

“Do you want to tag along?”

Tobin hears the girls' laughter before she sees the front door open. She shrugs and pushes herself forward. “Uh, yeah. It’s been a while since I've gone to a house party.” She says as she turns back and stirs the sauce one more time.

“Awesome! I'll go tell Meghan you're coming with us." Ariel says gleefully.

Tobin turns around to watch Ariel walk away and gets caught checking her out again when Ariel glances back. She gives Tobin a smile and a wink before turning back to talk to Kling.

*

Tobin pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Kling.

TH: Be there in 3 mins. Wait outside.

MK: Still getting ready. Just give me 5 extra mins

Tobin parks outside the well lit building as she waits for Kling and Ariel. She switches between 3 different radio stations until she sees Kling and she unlocks the car’s doors.

“I didn’t take long right?” Kling says as she sits down

“Nope.” Tobin leans forward to look past Kling. “Where’s Ariel?”

“Uh, she said she would wait for us outside the house. She lives pretty close by so she decided to walk to the party instead.”

“Ok, well do you know the address then, because she didn’t tell me.”

“Mhmm. Its 1989 Atlantica Ave. It’s the only two-story house on that street, shouldn’t be hard for you to find.” Kling says as she checks her makeup out one more time with the small mirror on the car's visor.

During the ten minute drive to the party Kling periodically checks her phone and looks up at Tobin before going back to her phone.

“You waiting for a call or something?” Tobin asks when Kling continues to stare.

“A text. Doesn’t matter though we're here…aaaand you just passed the house."

Tobin looks to the left as she passes the house. The party already looking a little out of hand as the loud music can be heard in her car even though her windows are not down. She sees a few people outside on the lawn as she looks for a place to park but the driveway and curb on either side of the street is already filled with cars. It takes her a few minutes to find a parking spot that isn’t too far.

As they walk towards the house the music no longer fills the air. Kling talks to someone on her phone and almost trips over a few twigs in the poorly lit side walk. Tobin grabs her arm to prevent her from falling when she trips over the uneven sidewalk near a tree with wild roots.

“Thanks” Kling says to Tobin then goes back to her phone. “Yeah, were almost there. Meet us outside.”

“Ariel?” Tobin asks as she pulls her phone out and swipes away a text notification from Ella. She makes a mental note to text her later tonight or tomorrow.

“Yup.” 

As they approach the house, in the distance they see someone waving at them from the front porch.

Ariel walks off the porch and meets them half way on the brick path leading to the front door. “Hey, glad you guys made it early.”

“Early? Sounds like the party is over.” Tobin points to the house as the lights in the house get turned off.

Ariel runs her hand through her hair, “Oh, no. Uh…I think they're just changing the song again. The host has their iPod connected to some speakers. Come on.”

“Let’s get some drinks!” Kling pushes Tobin forward and links arms with Ariel as they slow down to allow Tobin to go in first.

Tobin opens the door and takes a few steps into the dark house. 

“Hello?”

The lights turn on a few seconds after she walks into the foyer and a banner is thrown over to hang off the second floor railing. The black banner says ‘Happy Birthday’ in red with a glittery red heart on the side. All the girls from the team stand on the stairs, and a few of Tobin’s friends from her classes are in the second floor behind the banner. 

“SURPRISE!”

“HOLY-” Tobin covers her mouth. Tobin scans through all the faces of her friends and teammates. Moving from face to face until she realizes what she is doing and stops looking for that one magical smile she was clearly hoping was among the crowd. Tobin knows Christen had her plans to be in the east coast set for weeks now but that didn’t stop her from wishing, even for just a moment that Christen had made a slight detour just for her.

Kelley walks over to Tobin with a cold bottle of Corona with a wedge of lime stuck on top. “Happy Birthday Tobin.” Kelley hands Tobin the bottle and clinks it with her own before she takes a sip.

“Thanks.”

The team begins to surround Tobin and pat her back or hug her while wishing her a happy birthday. When they finally clear the foyer and head onto the makeshift dance floor in the living room, leaving Tobin alone with Kelley, she finally asks. “Did you do all this? How did you plan all of this without me knowing?” 

Kelley nods and replies. “I had some help. We mostly talked about it in group texts, during a few game nights while you were cooking, and I asked Christen to keep you busy on the phone a couple times that I needed you out of the room. You’re in your head most of the time so I'm not surprised you didn't find out about it.”

“Why now? My birthday isn't until next week.”

“Just making sure it was a big surprise… and I’m going home next weekend so my mom can meet Hope. She’s trying to get on my mom’s good side so she can beg her to let me spend Thanksgiving with her family this year. Told her not to get her hopes up though. We definitely have a chance at the college cup next year with Chris so I might have to cancel on them both.”

"At least we'll still have a turkey dinner with the team but we won't be able to really stuff ourselves." Tobin grabs Kelley's shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug. “Thank you. This party is going to be awesome. I wasn’t really planing on doing anything for my birthday this year, except maybe skipping out on my morning work out to sleep in.”

“You? Skip out on a work out? I won’t believe it until I see it.” Kelley pats Tobin’s stomach. “You’d never risk having to say goodbye to that six pack of yours. Come on, finish that drink. You and I have a fridge full of jello shots to get through tonight. This time we kept Kling from pouring the vodka so they wont be too strong.”

"Have you talked to Chris today?" Tobin asks.

"Mmm, nope. I've been a bit busy with all this today. Come on."

Kelley begins to lead Tobin toward the kitchen when the door bell rings. Tobin turns back around to open the door.

“Hey Ella.” Tobin says as she opens the door a little wider to let Ella through and turns to Kelley. “Go get some jello shots while I drink this. I’ll find you later.”

Kelley looks at Ella and back at Tobin, “Alright, don't take too long. Tonight we are going shot for shot. I’ll try to limit myself to 5 until you find me so it wont be hard for you to catch up.”

Tobin nods at Kelley and takes a small drink of her Corona.

“Happy birthday Tobin.” Ella hugs her and gives her a peck on her cheek.

“Thanks.” Tobin takes another drink. While Ella takes a step back and looks around the house, Tobin pulls her phone out and goes to her messages to make sure she didn't have an unread text from Christen. She puts it back in her pocket moments later.

“Honestly, I didn't even know your birthday was this month. Kelley sort of invited me last minute. I was plan B. She stopped by the diner because she said she might need me to get you here without you finding out that this was all for you. Do you know what plan A was?”

“Ariel and Kling.” Tobin looks into the living room to find Ariel dancing and staring at her. Ariel breaks eye contact first to chug the rest of her drink. Tobin looks back down at her bottle and starts peeling the label before taking another drink leaving the bottle half empty.

“I’ve met Kling before but who’s Ariel?” Ella asks as she turns to look at the group of girls dancing in the living room.

“Kling's friend. She stopped by for the team’s game night since a few of them bailed and now I know why." Tobin motions to the decorations all around the house. “After the game she invited me to a party with her and Kling.”

“Oh.”

Tobin finishes the rest of her beer quickly and shakes it, the lime making a bit of noise as it hits against the glass. “I'ma go find Kelley.” She gives Ella a quick side hug. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’ll go with you. I don't really know any of your friends or teammates besides Kelley and Kling.” Ella links their arms and waits for Tobin to lead the way.

“Ok, let’s go find the kitchen.” Tobin says and tries to hide the uneasiness she feels once Ella starts to be a little possessive with her again. She thinks about taking Ella aside and explaining to her again that she isn't looking for a relationship but Tobin decides to leave it for another night.

They roam around the first floor for a minute until they find the kitchen and Tobin drops her hand to the side. Ella takes that as a sign to let go of Tobin’s arm but reluctantly does so. Kelley finishes setting up the row of Jello shots on the kitchen island when she finally spots Tobin.

“TOBY!” Kelley yells out as she throws her hands up and rushes over to Ella and Tobin. “Hurry up dude! I’m on my 7th one already.” Kelley grabs Tobin’s arm and drags her to the row of shots.

After Kelley and Tobin both finish a whole tray of jello shots, a couple beers and dance a few songs, Tobin thinks it's time to slow down a bit. She heads back to the kitchen for a water bottle. 

Kling quickly tiptoes past her with a red cup. She pulls out the tray of vodka soaked gummy bears from the fridge and sets it down on the island. She scoops up a few into her cup before yelling out, “Who wants some candy?”

Tobin sways a bit as she reaches in and grabs a hand full before the girls rush to the kitchen and converge over the small tray. She pops a few into her mouth, tasting a bit of the vodka and coming to the conclusion that even in gummy bears, vodka is her least favorite alcohol. She feels a hot hand on the small of her back.

“Hey you, happy birthday.” Ariel says as she comes to stand beside Tobin “Is there anymore gummy bears?”

Tobin looks back at the tray. It’s empty. “Nope, but you can have some of mine.” Tobin turns to Ariel as she opens her hand.

Ariel takes a few. “So, are you having fun?” She asks before she pops them into her mouth.

“Yeah, but I think I might have to slow it down with the jello shots. I don't think Kelley’s alcohol tolerance is anywhere near mine. She’s already slurring her words more than me. Do you know if she drank before I got here?”

Ariel nods then swallows before replying, “We might have taken a few tequila shots while we finished setting up everything. Can I have some more?”

“Open your hand.”

Ariel opens her hand and Tobin gives her half of the gummy bears in her hand.

“Thanks.” Ariel says before slowly turning to walk away.

“Wait, where are you going?” Tobin sways and takes one step forward to keep herself from falling face first.

“Front porch." Ariel points to the short hallway leading to the  front door. "I want to get a bit of fresh air and step away from the loud music.”

“I’ll meet you outside. I could use some fresh air too. I just need to check up on Kelley and make sure she slows down.”

Tobin checks on Kelley and asks JJ to keep an eye on her before slipping out the front door.

“Come sit.” Ariel says as she plants her feet on the ground to stop the porch swing.

“This thing is so cool!” Tobin says as she sits down and starts swinging.

“Are you this easily pleased all the time?” Ariel laughs.

“No, just drunk but you have to admit this house is pretty rad.”

“Thank you.”

“What?”

“This is my childhood home. I sometimes stay over if my dad asks me to.”

“Your dad?” Tobin asks confused.

“Yeah, you might have seen him on campus a few times. He’s the dean of students.”

“Is he here?” Tobin stops swinging and begins to nervously look around.

“Don't worry, he isn't going to pop out of the bushes and bust everyone. Luckily his goddaughter is getting married this weekend and it's a destination wedding so he wont be back til tomorrow afternoon. I made Meghan promise she would leave everything spotless before my dad gets home when she asked me if she could throw a party here earlier this month so he won't even know there was a party.” Ariel reassures Tobin and pats her knee.

“Well thank you for letting them throw the party here. I've had so much fun already and I haven't blown out my candles yet.”

"I'm glad I could help out with your birthday party." Ariel clears her throat, "So uh, you and that blonde girl…”

Tobin smirks at Ariel. “What about her?” She already knows the situation Ariel’s question will inevitably lead them to and she's drunk enough to not think about it twice. Thinking of Ariel’s long legs wrapped around her has been the only thing to keep her from constantly checking her phone and being too in her feelings because Christen has not responded to her last text yet.

“Nothing, Never mind.”

Tobin turns her body toward Ariel and pats her knee. “Come on, now you have to tell me.” She moves her hand a little higher.

Ariel smiles down at Tobin’s hand that now rests on her thigh, inching closer to the edge of her dress and looks back up at Tobin. “I just wanted to know if you guys were a thing.”

Tobin shakes her head. “We hang out sometimes but I’m single.” She watches in anticipation as Ariel’s tongue darts out.

Ariel licks her lips before responding, “Good enough for me.”

Ariel leans closer to Tobin to press a kiss to her lips as she places a hand on the back of Tobin’s neck to pull her in. Tobin opens her mouth slightly and Ariel slides her tongue inside while Tobin’s hand squeezes a little higher up on Ariel’s thigh. Ariel’s hand slides down to softly squeeze Tobin’s breast. Ariel moans into Tobin’s mouth when her hand begins to run up and down Ariel’s inner thigh. Ariel feels the cool night breeze on her legs as her dress is pushed up a little higher up.

The front door creaks opens and the light from inside the house overpowers the soft porch light. Lost in the moment, neither of them notice the change in lighting.

“Tobin? Are you out here?”

Tobin and Ariel continue to kiss until Tobin pulls away as she feel icy cold liquid hit her back. She stands up and turns to face Ella.

“You fucking asshole!” Ella shouts as she drops her empty red cup at Tobin’s feet.

“What the fuck Ella?” Tobin replies angrily. She can feel the liquid soak through her shirt and cool her back as the wind hits her.

“I thought we had something and I catch you out here with this bitch’s tongue halfway down your throat.” Ella glares at Ariel hiding behind Tobin.

“I told you I wasn't looking for anything serious. I thought I made myself perfectly clear when we started hanging out and hooking up. You're not my fucking girlfriend Ella! You never were.” Tobin stumbles over her words slightly.

Ella takes a step toward Tobin and as if her anger had reached a new level, she responds coldly, “Fuck you Tobin.”

Ariel pulls Tobin back and stands in front of her. “Ok, you need to leave. Right now.”

“Screw both of you.” Ella says before turning around and stomping down the porch steps.

Kling opens the front door and peeks out. “Is everything ok out here?”

“Yeah, some girl just had a bit of a meltdown and threw her drink on Tobin.” Ariel replies.

“Oh shit! Tobin are you ok? Who was it?” Kling steps out onto the porch.

“Don’t worry about it. It was just a little Jack and Coke. It’s super sticky though.” Tobin taps on Ariel’s shoulder. “Ariel can you show me to the bathroom so I can clean up.” They walk past Kling to head inside.

“Wait. JJ wanted to bring out the cake, should I tell her to wait?”

Tobin shivers. "Yeah, I'll find you guys when I'm done getting cleaned up."

“We’ll be down in a bit.” Ariel says as she leads Tobin up the stairs.

Ariel pushes the bathroom door open. 

Tobin walks in then turns back to Ariel, “Sorry about all that.”

Ariel pushes Tobin into the bathroom and closes the door. “Take off your shirt.”

Tobin pulls her shirt over her head and Ariel’s eyes linger on her torso. 

“The whole back of your bra is soaked too, isn’t it?” Ariel asks as she takes the shirt from Tobin. “Take it off so I can put both of them to wash. It shouldn’t take too long. I’ll put it on the quickest cycle so we can get back to the party sooner.”

“Well you have me half naked already…” Tobin says as she turns away from Ariel and takes off her sports bra. She covers her chest with one arm as she hands Ariel the bra. “Do you mind if I use your shower to wash off the rest?”

“Go ahead. I’ll bring you a towel after I put these to wash." Ariel says as she grabs the sports bra. She points to the other door in the bathroom. “My room is right through there. When you’re done just go in and I’ll let you pick out a shirt if you want.”

Tobin puts her hair up in a bun and removes the rest of her clothing when Ariel exits the bathroom. She struggles with the shower a bit and wonders if she would still struggle with it if she was sober. When she finally gets it to the right temperature she quickly washes the sticky soda off her body. The door opens and closes quickly. She pulls back the curtain and sees a large blue towel on the counter next to her underwear and pants that thankfully didn't get soaked too. 

When Tobin is done and has her clothes back on she wraps the towel around herself. She goes through the second bathroom door that leads to Ariel’s room and Ariel sits up on her bed.

“Thanks for letting me use your shower.”

Ariel stands up and walks over to her closet. “No problem. Alright come over here so you can pick out a shirt. I don't have much of a selection here since most of my things are in my dorm but feel free to choose any top.”

Tobin walks over closet and looks through all the small shirts. “I don't think any of these are really my style. I don't really like tight shirts.”

“Hmm.” Ariel sits back down on the bed and pulls on her dress to cover her thighs again. “Well do you want to wait in here until your clothes are done washing and drying?”

Tobin walks to Ariel's bed and sits down. “I’m sure Kelley won’t mind waiting a few more minutes to cut the cake. It’s my birthday party anyway.” Tobin shrugs.

“Well then birthday girl how do you feel about continuing what we were doing on the porch?” Ariel asks as she turns her body towards Tobin. She grabs Tobin’s hand and places it on her thigh and slides it up.

Tobin leans in and starts kissing Ariel while her hand slides higher up, caressing and squeezing her inner thigh. She feels a slight tug on her towel and she lets it unravel, the cool air and her arousal causing her nipples to perk up.

Ariel palms Tobin's breast, tweaking a nipple between her thumb and index finger. She moans into Tobin's mouth then roughly pulls her dress up and out of the way as Tobin lightly presses her fingers against her lacy underwear.

Tobin stops kissing Ariel as she tries to push the already soaked undergarment to the side. She manages to pull it down a bit until Ariel holds her wrist to stop her and stands up.

"Let's just get rid of these." Ariel whispers as she pulls them down to her knees and lets them fall to her feet.

Tobin scoots further back into the bed and Ariel pushes her onto her back before laying beside her. Tobin turns to her side then pulls Ariel closer and kisses her again. Ariel's nails lightly scratch her back as Tobin's hand rests on Ariel's pubic bone. Her finger comes out coated in Ariel's arousal after barely sliding it between her folds. 

Ariel's phone goes off on the bedside table and she sits up. "Wait here. I'll be back."

 “Where are you going?” Tobin asks as she sits up on the bed. She smirks as Ariel adjusts her dress up top and pulls the hem back down from where it was bunched up at her waist. "It's a little wrinkled but still looks good."

Ariel begins looking for her underwear on the floor and on the bed. “I told Meghan to text me when your clothes was ready.”

“It’s a lost cause. Just go commando. You're going to come back here anyway.” Tobin says as she pulls towel from under her leg and lazily wraps it around her torso again.

 "True." Ariel pulls her dress down a bit then leans in to give Tobin a quick kiss. "I'll be back in a bit."

Tobin lays back on the bed as she wipes her finger on the towel. She sighs as Ariel's generic ringtone cuts through the room once more.

A husky voice calls out minutes later, “Ariel?”

Tobin sits up on the bed and clutches the towel tighter as the bedroom door opens and a guy with jet black hair walks in.

“Oh sorry. I didn't think anyone was up here. I’m Eric, Ariel’s boyfriend. I'll be in and out quick, I just came to pick up my dry cleaning.”

Tobin is paralyzed as soon as the words 'Ariel's boyfriend' leave his mouth but she manages to nod and say, “Oh, ok.” She looks back at the messy bed and her eyes land on the red thong halfway under the bed. She wonders if she can reach down to grab it or shove it further without Eric noticing. She leans down a bit but stops when the springs on the bed make too much noise under her weight. Tobin then tries to move it with her feet instead.

“Hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” Eric says as he reaches far into the closet and pushes Ariel’s shirts to the far left. He glances back at Tobin briefly, "Hm."

“No, nothing. We were just..” Tobin freezes once she is sure Eric caught a glimpse of the red undergarment by her feet.

Eric turns around and slowly looks through the clothes in the closet, “Doesn't look like nothing.”

Tobin begins to panic. She's topless on his girlfriend’s unmade bed with the incriminating evidence halfway under her foot, there is no way she can talk her way out of this. She chews on her bottom lip a bit too roughly and runs her tongue over it, feeling a faint dent. She pulls her lip out to get a look at it and gets a slight taste of Ariel when she runs her tongue over her lip again.

Tobin sighs, “Fuck.” She clears her throat before apologizing, “Dude, I’m sorry she-”

“Ariel didn’t tell you she had a boyfriend did she?” Eric interjects as he pulls out a couple shirts in clear plastic then turns to face her.

Tobin feels completely sober now and her palms begin to sweat. “No. If I knew I wouldn't have- We didn't even-”

“Don't worry about it. She probably didn't tell you we have an open relationship either. Fair warning though, she tends to be a bit of a pillow princess most of the time,” Eric says as he takes out one of the shirts and puts it on over his white tank top.

The door opens again and Ariel walks back in empty handed. “They weren't ready. Another 10 minutes and they'll be completely dry-” Ariel stops when she sees Eric by the closet. “Eric. What are you doing here?”

“I just came for my dry cleaning. I sent you a text that I was stopping by for a bit,” Eric walks over to Ariel and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I told you I was going to drop it off tomorrow morning." Ariel crosses her arms.

“I needed my shirt tonight. I’m going to the bar with the guys. I didn't know you had company over, I thought it was just a small house party." Eric shrugs. "I'm sorry I interrupted. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

"Mhmm." Ariel nod and bites her lip.

Tobin waits until Eric closes the door behind him to speak again. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

Ariel walks over to Tobin. “You didn't ask and besides it's not a big deal, we have an open relationship. He doesn't care. ”

“But I care who I get into bed with. You should have told me.” Tobin says harshly.

Ariel tries to be seductive again, “So does that mean we can’t-”

“No, we can't. I just- I don’t feel comfortable being with someone who is already in a relationship, open or not. I’d just rather not…” Tobin sighs.

"Ok." Ariel sits down on the bed. "Um, I guess I'll stay up here. Just send Meghan to come get me when the party is almost over so I can start cleaning up a bit."

"It's your house, I'm not going to force you to stay in your room until the party is over but I am going to ask you to just keep your distance." Tobin says as she stands up and walks over to the closet. "I'll just wear this," She pulls Ariel's school sweater out.

Ariel nods. "Sure."

"I'll change into my clothes when it's done drying. Can you go tell JJ to start putting the candles on the cake. I'll be down in a bit." Tobin turns her back to Ariel as she puts the sweater on.

The night had started off so good and Tobin hopes the situation with Ella and Ariel don't completely ruin her night. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she hesitantly pulls it out in fear that it might be the start of Ella blowing up her phone.

CP: HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! Wish I was there with you guys to celebrate! Take a shot for me.

TH: Thanx.

Tobin types out 'Wish you were here with me too' and her thumb hovers over the 'Send' button for a few seconds as she wonders how differently tonight might have gone if Christen had been there. Would they had ended up in one of these rooms?

She's already chastising herself before she even finishes her thought and quickly erases the message. She thinks about sending Ella an apology text but decides to leave it for when she is completely sober. She feels sober enough to swear off girls for the remainder of the school year though. She knows this is the best choice she has made this night maybe the only good decision she has made this whole month.

Tobin heads down stairs to take a shot for Christen and blow out her candles. She begins to feign exhaustion in the hopes to end the party a few hours early and it works. A couple hours later she piles into Hope's truck with Kelley and a few other girls that they drop off at the dorms before heading to the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday Bitch - Trap Beckham  
> Sex Rules - Sky Ferreira  
> Get On Your Knees - Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande  
> Straight Up - Ty Dolla $ign  
> First Position - Kehlani  
> Bad - Wale ft Tiara Thomas


	14. From East Coast To West Coast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a mess. Sorry.  
> Each break is a different day.

As Kelley approaches her apartment building she hears Skip barking and she quickens her pace. She wonders if Tobin had an emergency and forgot to take Skip out to do his business that afternoon. It’s the only logical reason she can think of as to why Skip would be barking excessively.

Kelley walks into the apartment and hangs her keys on the wall. Some soccer game starts it’s second half on the TV as she walks over to the glass door to let Skip in.

“What’s wrong buddy?” Kelley says as she opens the glass door. 

Skip bolts in and goes straight into the hallway and begins whining outside of Tobin’s door. Kelley knocks on the door but doesn’t get a response. She opens the door just a crack and Skip pushes his way through and begins whining again once he’s inside.

“Tobin?” Kelley calls out as she enters the room. Still no response. Kelley walks around the bed and sees Tobin on the floor with her back against the side of the bed. 

Tears are streaming down Tobin’s face, her arms close to her chest, her hand oddly gripping her phone like she couldn’t bend her fingers properly, the beginnings of 911 on the screen, and her chest rising and falling quickly with each quick breath she takes in.

Kelley kneels beside her, “Tobin, what’s wrong?”

Tobin painfully moves her hand to give Kelley her phone but it falls onto her lap as her hands cramp up even more. “M-my ch-chest.” She manages to get out through her tightening throat. “I c-can’t..”

Kelley picks up the phone and completes dialing 911. She speaks to the operator and tells them the situation while trying to get Tobin to keep breathing. She hears the door open a few minutes later and calls out to the paramedics. She stands up and lets them do their job. One helps Tobin up and has her sit on the bed while the other gets the oxygen tank.

“I-I just got home a while ago and found her like that. What’s wrong with her? Is she going to be ok?” Kelley can no longer hold in her tears. One of the paramedics takes Kelley out into the hallway and tries to calm her down.

“She’ll be ok. Looks like she was just having a panic attack. Do you know what could have triggered it?”

Kelley tries to steady her voice as she replies, “No, like I said I just got home and found her in here.”

“Was there anything odd when you came home?”

“No. The tv was on and the dog was barking. What could bring on a panic attack?”

“You’re both in college right?”

“Yes but we just finished our freshman year..... She works. Could that cause it? Working too much?”

“Well, severe stress and anxiety are the most common reasons one might get a panic attack. Once we get her breathing properly again you can ask her what is stressing her.”

They walk back into the room.

“Tobin? How are you feeling?” Kelley asks as she tentatively sits down on the bed.

Tobin knows she just scared the crap out of Kelley and wants to reassure her that she's fine now. She moves the oxygen mask away from her face to reply, “Better.”

Kelley holds on to Tobin’s hand and breathes a sigh of relief. “What happened? What made you panic?”

Tobin looks up at the paramedic, “Can I take this off now?”

“Yes, I’ll just need you to sign a few forms before we leave. If you feel like you can't breath again just call us and we’ll race back here to help.”

Tobin nods and signs the forms the paramedic hands her. She waits for them to leave before asking Kelley. "Can I rest my head on your lap? I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah.” Kelley moves down to the foot of the bed to let Tobin lay down and stretch her legs out. She begins playing with her hair as Tobin faces the open window.

Tobin closes her eyes as a gust of wind blows the curtains and the fresh air hits her face. “It’s not the first time I’ve had a panic attack.” She says a bit ashamed. “I can usually get through them on my own.”

Kelley stops stroking Tobin’s hair, “You shouldn’t have to, I’m here. I’m across the hall and if I’m not home then you call me and I’ll rush home asap.”

Tobin sits up. “It doesn’t happen often.”

“The paramedic said that severe stress can bring on a panic attack so what is stressing you so much? What were you doing before they hit you?”

“Well the first time was… um back in Jersey when my mom told me Lauren and Amy had called. I was going to call them back but I just started having a hard time breathing and ended up not calling them. I didn’t have another one for a few months so I figured it was a one time thing until a couple weeks ago..” She trails off as she remembers the topic of the conversation she had with Lauren. Tobin clears her throat and continues. “Um I was talking to Lauren and we talked a bit about the national team. I only had a few hours of sleep that night so I started feeling a bit off and hung up on her with some lame excuse. I managed to get through it that time even though it was a bit worse than the first time.”

“So it’s getting worse? We need to find out what is causing them because this one looked really bad. What were you doing when you started having a hard time breathing?”

“Nothing, I was just on the couch flipping through the channels and I stopped when I heard my phone ringing in my room. I stood up to go get it but I had stopped on a soccer game and I just got stuck watching it. It was one of the last couple of friendlies for the national team before they went off to the Olympi-”

“Wait. Is all of this because you got kicked out of that last camp?”

Tobin shakes her head. “I didn’t.”

“Oh, well I just kind of assumed you got kicked out because you didn’t mention the camp at all last summer and it’s all you want to talk about right when I land in NJ.”

“I didn’t get kicked out, they just didn’t make it onto that roster for the U-17 WWC and they didn't call me for the next couple of camps. Probably was for the best, I wasn’t in the right mindset after things ended with Shirley.” Tobin takes a deep breath. “I wonder if they would have called me back if I hadn’t found out about Shirley cheating until after camp. I was pretty useless those two weeks, going to practice still drunk or hungover. I probably would have been kicked out if Lauren and Amy hadn’t covered for me.”

“Why were you even drinking during camp? Why would you self sabotage like that? This is all you’ve ever wanted.”

“…Because I was fuckin’ idiot, a heartbroken idiot,” Tobin’s phone goes off in her hand, the screen showing Ella’s name. Tobin knows she should apologize for her behavior last weekend now that Ella seems to be in the mood to talk. “and I’m still an idiot sometimes.”

* * *

Ali and Christen walk side by side with their girlfriends leading the way to the coffee shop and bump into them a few moments later when Ashlyn abruptly stops to talk to a girl.

Christen looks through the window at a few rows of books and a couple empty couches in one corner. "Is this the place?"

"No. It's it a bit farther up." Ashlyn replies and turns back to the girl. "Shirley, this is Christen and Vero."

"Hey." Shirley waves to Christen, gives her a quick look and asks,  "So are you guys headed to Barranquero?" Shirley asks.

"Yeah. These two are leaving to New York tonight and we haven't had the chance to take them there yet." Ali replies as she stands next to Ashlyn and wraps her arm around her waist.

"You guys go to NYU?"

"No. I'm going to Stanford and she's going to UCLA. We're just meeting her friend Jenni there and doing a little sightseeing before we head back to California." Christen says as she moves closer to Vero and slips her hand into hers. Vero gives her a little squeeze. Christen almost doesn't notice Shirley perk up at the mention of Stanford.

"I would love to stay here another week but this one and Jenni both have preseason commitments so we only have a few days to spend in New York." Vero pouts.

Shirley asks Christen, "Do you play soccer?"

Christen just nods.

"What position?" Shirley asks looking Christen up and down.

"Forward. Did you also play in the NCAA tournament last year?" Christen also eyes the girl up and down trying to figure out why this girl is showing so much interest in her.

"She's a midfielder and our team captain but she missed most of the last season because she tore her ACL in September." Ashlyn turns to Shirley. "If you want, you could join us and you two can continue your shop talk at the cafe."

Shirley checks her wrist watch and sighs. "Thanks but I already ate and I was on my way to my girlfriend's place. It was nice meeting you. If you guys end up in Brooklyn, you need to stop by a small bakery there. I forgot the name of it but it has the best bagels in New York. I promise you."

Christen gets a little taken aback when the girl becomes super friendly again after basically staring her down.

"How are they going to find it if you don't know the name?" Ali questions.

"Right. Well when I found this bakery I was waiting for my ex outside of a small art shop and she would spend hours there so I wandered to the little shop next door. So I know it's next to an art supplies store in Brooklyn but that's all I can remember. Hopefully they haven't moved it because its one of the reasons I go back home every chance I get." 

Christen pulls a small paper from her purse. She has the list of all the places Tobin told her to check out and scribbles down _Brooklyn bakery next to art shop_ with the word _BAGELS_ in capital letters underneath it. "I'll check it out if we have time."

"You have a list? Can I see it?" Shirley stretches her hand out and Christen gives her the paper. 

Christen studies Shirley's face as she scans the list.

"Whoever made you this list really knows the city. It's got a few touristy spots but those are the really good places. " Shirley gives her the list back.

"A friend back in Stanford made the list for me, she's originally from the east coast." Christen neatly folds the paper and puts it back in her purse.

"Kelley's friend?" Ashlyn asks.

Christen nods, "Yeah. We stopped by with them for a bit before coming here." She hears a familiar ping of a text message notification and glances down at Vero's pocket.

"No era mío." Vero reaches in her pocket, pulls out her phone, to show Christen her screen.

"It's mine." Shirley types out a message and shoves her phone back in her pocket. "I really should go. It was nice to meet you guys. Enjoy your coffee." Shirley turns to Ali and Ashlyn, "I'll see you guys later." Shirley waves and walks the opposite way they were heading.

Ali shouts, "We're still going out tonight right?"

"Yeah." Shirley yells back and continues walking.

They start walking and Christen pulls Vero with her. "Is it just me or did she get a little weird when I mentioned I'm going to Stanford?"

"No, that was all in your head." Ali replies as she pulls Ashlyn closer.

"Or maybe it's because you're going to school with her ex later this year." Ashlyn says.

"What? How do you know?" Ali pulls back and looks up at Ashlyn.

"She and her girlfriend were having some problems so she called me to hang out. It was that weekend you left me to visit your brother. We played the Law and Order drinking game but that girl can not hold her liquor well. She got pretty wasted and then told me she thinks universe is getting back at her for cheating on her previous girlfriend with her current one. She thought she was getting cheated on but she wasn't, they were just going through a rough patch. "

"Is that it? She didn't tell you more about the other girl?" Ali asks as they wait at crosswalk.

"We talked about her situation for a bit but she didn't say much, only that before they broke up her ex had already made plans to attend Penn State to be with her. She didn't find out her ex went to Stanford instead until a year after they broke up. I guess she was still a bit torn up about not getting the chance to apologize to her in person."

The light changes and Christen is the first one to notice so she pulls Vero ahead with her. Ashlyn and Ali follow behind them seconds later.

"Damn. I didn't know that. Is that why she wanted to go with us after her ACL surgery when we played at Stanford?"

Ashlyn shrugs. "Probably, but it's not like the coach would have just let her walk around the school looking for this girl."

Vero looks back. "Lots of students at Stanford, it would've been easier to find her on Facebook anyway. Has she told you anything else about her ex?" Vero asks.

Ashlyn shakes her head. "No, she doesn't like to talk about it. She still feels bad for doing that to her."

Christen lets go of Vero's hand to open the door to the cafe, "She should."

* * *

Christen keeps a steady pace as she crosses onto another street while periodically glancing down at the directions on her phone to the next art supplies store on her list. She spent most of the morning making a small list of the places she thought could be the bakery Ali and Ashlyn's friend mentioned her last day in Pennsylvania. She crossed out everything on the list Tobin gave her on during her first three days in New York but this elusive bakery is the last place she needs to cross out. Even if she visited all the places Tobin wanted her to check out, she just couldn't think of going back without completing the list.

"Christen. Amor. Por favor, ya no mas. My feet hurt." Vero whines as she runs to catch up with Christen

Christen turns around and stares at her very exhausted girlfriend. "One more, I have a feeling this one is it. Just a few more steps. Come on."

"You said that about the last 3 places."

"I just really want to try the bagels. We can do anything you want to do for the rest of our stay here after this stop. I promise this is the last one. I'll even throw the list away." Christen crumples up the paper and shoves it in her pocket.

"Last one, then we go back to the hotel before dinner?"

Christen nods then links their arms and continues walking. They reach the bakery a few minutes later. Christen stares at the art shop's window display a few feet ahead.

"Ok. Let's go in, get a bagel, and head back." Vero says as she opens the door for Christen.

Christen drops Vero's hand and steps back, "Actually, you get us the bagels. I'm just going to pop in next door real quick."

Vero leans back a bit to look at the shop next door, "You don't paint."

"I know. I'm not getting something for myself," Christen gives Vero a quick kiss and starts walking to the shop, "Thanks for putting up with me today."

* * *

Tobin opens the door and lets Skip walk in before her. He waits by the door for her to take off his leash leaves. She hangs it on a hook with her keys then leads Skip to the backyard and plops down on the couch. It feels like she is finally back to her old self. She's finally back to her old routine of work, and walking Skip multiply times a day. She's even training every morning and occasionally training again in the afternoon. Her body feels fantastic, her mind is clear and it's been weeks since her last panic attack. She did feel off for a few days after that particular panic attack but she hasn't noticed any signs of another since.

Kelley walks into the living room and sits down next to Tobin. "Hey. How are you feeling?" Kelley asks as she keeps a close eye on Tobin.

"Kel, you don't have to ask me everyday how I'm doing. I've been completely fine for weeks now." Tobin says. She flips through the channels just so she has something to do and to look at as Kelley tries to get more out of her.

"You seemed fine to me before I really knew what you were going through so I'm just double checking." Kelley pats Tobin's knee.

Tobin sighs. "Thanks for looking out for me."

"No problem. Did you open your package already?"

Tobin asks confused, "What package?"

"A packaged arrived a little after you left with Skip. I left it on your bed."

"I haven't ordered anything in a long time. Did it say who it was from?" Tobin asks as she gets up.

"Mmmm nope. Don't think so." Kelley stretches her arm across the couch to grab the control from the armrest and changes the channel to the Food Network.

Tobin stands in front of the TV, "Kel, did you even check?"

Kelley smiles, "...no"

Tobin walks to her bedroom and a large box sits in the middle of her bed. She calls out to Kelley, "Was it heavy?"

Kelley shouts back, "No, it was kinda light."

Tobin quickly checks the box for a return address but all she finds is a Brooklyn FedEx sticker. She rips off the tape and opens the box. A balloon with the words 'Happy Birthday' slowly floats up with the string pulling up a small note taped to it. 

_From: West Coast to East Coast (Or should I say "From The East Coast to East Coast)_

_I wandered into a little art shop while in Brooklyn in search for a bakery with the best bagels and saw this in the window display. It reminded me of you and since I wasn't there for your birthday a thoughtful gift was the next best thing._

_It will obviously not arrive before your birthday party but hopefully it arrives before your actual birthday and if not well HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY EAST COAST!_

Tobin pulls out the small layer of tissue paper and bubble wrap. In in the bottom of the box is what she had been wanting to buy for months. She pulls out the light colored wooden box and heads to the living room to show Kelley.

"Look what Christen sent me. I told her a while ago that I was in need of a easel." Tobin says as she holds it to her chest and strokes the soft wood. "Help me move the table a bit. I want to set it up in that corner."

"That's a wooden box." Kelley says as she stands up to help Tobin.

""It's a portable easel." Tobin says as she begins setting it up, pulling the legs out and tightening some screws.

"Now it looks like a really small table." 

"I have to pull this and open this..." Tobin finishes setting up the easel and pushes it back into the corner. " Tada! Look it even has this little drawer for some of my paint."

Kelley cocks her head to the side as Tobin adjusts one more thing, "Hmm, that's actually pretty cool."

Tobin steps back and stares lovingly at it, "Yeah, it is. I'ma call her to thank her." 

She goes back to her bedroom and picks up her phone from the nightstand then sits down on the bed. It rings for a few seconds then she is greeted with a sweet laugh.

_"Sorry. Hello?"_

"Chris? It's Tobin." Tobin bites on her lip nervously as she hears Christen's voice for the first time in a couple weeks.

_"Oh. Hey so I'm assuming you got my gift. I'm glad I paid extra for 2-day shipping. Do you like it?"_

Tobin's cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so much, "I LOVE it. Thank you so much. I'll use it to paint you a little something for your dorm."

_"..No. It's just Tobin....Ok, ok."_

"Christen?"

_"Tobin, I'll call you back later. I'm headed to dinner with Vero and her friend before we head to the airport"_

"Uh, ok. Have fun."

_"Bye."_

"Bye. Have a safe flight."

Tobin pulls out her painting box from deep inside her closet and grabs a small blank canvas. She sets everything up in on the easel and runs back into her room to grab her headphones and iPod so she doesn't bother Kelley while she watches Chopped. It's the only show Kelley started watching religiously since they moved in and Tobin would rather not get between Kelley and her show. Tobin puts on her headphones and pushes play on the playlist she listens to every time she paints and that she has recently found out helps her drown out any other noise when she needs to get her school work done.

"... _Why do I keep my mind on you all the time. And I don't even know you..._ " Tobin hums and sings along as she picks out the colors she wants to use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demons - James Morrison  
> Blame It On Bad Luck - Bayside  
> Got It Bad - LEISURE  
> Count On Me - Bruno Mars


	15. Sun Up To Sun Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter....*sigh*  
> Oh well...

Tobin manages to fight her way through the hoards of freshman moving into the dorms without bumping into anyone and damaging the small red box in her arm that contained the painting she made for Christen. She reaches Christen's dorm and knocks on the door. "Chris? Are you in there?"

The door creaks open and brunette in a yellow cardigan pops her head out. "You are?" she asks with an English accent.

"Hi, I'm Tobin. Is Christen here?" Tobin asks as she pulls the box closer to her chest.

The girl opens the door wider. "I'm Christen's roommate, Jane. Come in. She went down stairs to grab more of her boxes. She'll be up in a bit."

"Thanks." Tobin walks into the small dorm room and sits at the desk. "So, you're from?"

"The accent caught you a little by surprise?" Jane laughs. "I should wear a Union Jack shirt or carry a small Union Flag with me just to give people a heads up before I open my mouth."

"Yeah, it caught me a little off guard. So are you just here for school or are you living here permanently?"

"Just here for school." Jane sits down on her perfectly made bed and slips on her shoes.

"What's your major? Or are you undeclared?" Tobin lays the box on her lap. She continues the small talk as she tries to calm her nerves and contain her excitement. It's not like she has been counting down the days since she last saw Christen in May. Counting down the weeks? Maybe.

"Biology and English. You?" Jane pulls out her compact to apply a bit of lipstick and clean up the minor eyeliner smudge in the corner of her eye.

"Communications, but I sometimes tell people I'm majoring in soccer because I want to go pro after college." Tobin grips the box a little tighter, leaving small dents on the edge.

"Well I don't know much about soccer but I assume going pro in any sport is tough so good luck." Jane checks her phone and starts packing a small backpack.

"Thanks." Tobin breaths out and releases her firm grip. She runs her fingers across the box and smooths out the dents as much as she can.

"I'm heading out to explore the town with some friends." Jane shakes Tobin's hand. "It was nice meeting you Tobin."

Jane leaves and Tobin finally has the chance to really look at the room. A few of Christen's boxes litter the floor, one labeled 'Blankets' and another labeled 'Baking'. She plays on her phone for a few minutes until she hears Christen outside the door.

"Ah fuck!"

Tobin sets the box down on the desk and quickly opens the door. "Hey Chris!" Tobin stares at the mess of shoes on the hallway floor while Christen begins to throw shoes back into the box.

"A little help Tobs." Christen breaths out.

"Right, sorry." Tobin bends down, grabs as many shoes as she can and puts them in the box.

They both stand up and Christen slides the box into the room with her foot. "The tape on the bottom must have peeled off on the way up here."

"Is that the last box or do you have more?" Tobin asks as she follows Christen back into the room.

Christen slides the box next to the other two. The red box on her desk catching her eye. She smiles and points to the box, "Is that for me?"

Tobin quickly reaches for it and hands it to Christen. "Yeah. Um, it's just a small painting of a sunset on the beach near your home. I figured it might help if you ever get a little homesick." She nervously rubs the back of her neck as Christen sits down on her bed and takes off the lid. The smile that appears on Christen's face as soon as she sees the painting makes Tobin's heart skip a beat.

"You like it?"

"Tobin, I love it!" Christen gently lays the box on her bed and stands up to pull Tobin into a tight hug. "Thank you so much. It's beautiful."

"Knock knock. Chris, you still have some luggage and another box in my car." Christen's sister walks in then sets down a small box.

Tobin jerks back a little at the sound of the box landing on the floor. She knows they weren't doing anything wrong but she still takes a few steps to the side and shoves her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

"Tyler! This is Tobin. You met her briefly last summer." Christen pulls Tyler towards Tobin.

Tobin pulls her hand back out to shake Tyler's hand. Although Christen and her sister had relatively similar colored eyes, to Tobin, there was something special about Christen's eyes and the way she saw the world. No one could argue that the Press sisters didn't win big in the genetic lottery.

Tyler smiles, "Kelley's friend. Yeah I sort of remember you. How's college going? How's Kelley been?"

"College is great. Kelley is good-"

"Why does everyone say that?" Christen crosses her arms.

Tyler turns to Christen, "Say what?"

"She's my friend too you know." Christen says as she slings her arm around Tobin's shoulder.

"Fine, whatever." Tyler lightly smacks Christen's arm. "Come on and finish unloading your stuff. I have to get back on the road before the sun goes down."

Tobin rolls up the sleeves of her thin Stanford sweater. "I'll help you. It's the reason I came here early." 

"Wouldn't you rather spend your day off doing something fun? Helping me move into the dorm isn't going to be fun. Not even a little."

Tyler starts walking out. "I'll meet you guys down stairs." 

"Christen, I knew you were moving in today so I asked for today and tomorrow off to help you. Also to hang out with you and Kelley before school starts on Monday. My boss knows I need a flexible schedule so he doesn't mind me asking for some days off as long as I make up the hours during that pay period."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't mind spending a day off helping you if it means I get to spend more time talking to you. Sporadic texts and Skype calls could never replace talking face to face." Tobin says as she begins to pull Christen toward the door.

They head down to meet Tyler and after another short discussion Tobin talks Christen into letting her carry most of the things. She leaves Christen with one suitcase to deal with while she carries Christen's backpack, holds the last box under one hand and pulls one of the suitcases so Tyler doesn't have to make another trip upstairs.

Christen opens the door for Tobin and lets her walk in first. "Thanks for helping."

Tobin sets down the box on the floor and leaves the suitcase leaning against it. "So what now? Do you need help putting everything away? I'm not the best at organizing but just for this afternoon I'll let you boss me around. Your room, your rules."

Christen laughs. "Oh please, we both know I'm the boss no matter what."

"Whatever you say boss." Tobin shrugs off the backpack and sets it down on the desk. "You put your clothes away and I'll start paring up the shoes you dropped."

Before Christen starts organizing the clothes in the suitcases, she takes her laptop out to play some music and Tobin begins to bob her head to the music. Every once in a while Tobin looks over at Christen pulling clothes from the suitcase on the floor and dancing over to the dresser. She allows herself these blissful little moments because she understands that she doesn't have the privilege to ask more of Christen than what she is already getting from her. 

In the time it takes Christen to fold and place her clothes in the dresser, Tobin has already organised the shoes, bookshelf and made Christen's bed. She notices the small box Tyler had brought in and she picks it up. "What's in here? You didn't label it."

"It's just a couple things Vero gave me like a teddy bear she won for me at a fair, some letters, her favorite shirt that I took when she wasn't looking, and some other little things. You can just leave it on the desk. I'll go through it later."

"Ok," Tobin puts the box on the desk then lays down on the bed with her feet hanging off the edge. She covers her eyes from the sunlight coming in through the large window.

"Are you coming back to the apartment with me for the Harry Potter marathon? Kelley told you about it right?" Tobin stretches out on the bed and yawns.

"Yeah." Christen pauses the music then bends down to pull her earphones out from her backpack before sitting down on the chair.

The familiar sound of skype's incoming call plays from the laptop speakers and Tobin sits up. "Should I go?  I can wait for you outside."

Christen plugs her earphones into the headphone jack. "No. I'm just going to check in with Vero. You can lay back down. I won't take long"

Tobin hesitates but lays back down. She places her hands under her head, stares up at the ceiling and tries not to pay too much attention to Christen's voice as it cuts through the silence.

"Hola Amor...No it didn't take long. I had a little help." Christen cheerfully replies.

Tobin hears the laptop scrape on the desk as Christen shifts the angle of it.

Christen takes a deep breath in before answering whatever question Vero just asked. "Vero,  not now plea-" Christen stops and briefly looks over her shoulder. "Por favor no empieces. Solo me estaba ayudando...No puedo. I'm going out-"

Tobin notices the small change in Christen's tone and although her Spanish was never that great and got worse since things ended with Shirley years ago, she can still make out certain words. She slowly sits up as Christen runs a hand through her straightened hair and flips it to one side.

"Stop. I'm going out... Yeah and with Kelley." Christen turns back around and gives Tobin a small smile. "I'll talk to you later...Yeah tonight... I promise I won't forget. Bye." Christen turns off her laptop and shoves it back in her backpack.

Tobin pulls out her phone and sends a text to Kelley. "You ready to go?"

Christen's phone pings and she sighs. "Yup." She shoves her phone in her backpack too. She throws the backpack over her shoulder and starts walking toward the door. "I have Kelley's birthday gift in here." 

"I didn't buy her a gift but I promised to cook her anything she wanted for dinner next week." Tobin says as she follows her out and closes the door.

They walk across campus and get stopped a few times as they make their way through small groups of students promoting their clubs. They turn into a street that has a small amount trees lining the street but the August sun is not beating down on them, instead it's a nice warm sunset on their exposed skin and a cool pacific breeze chills them down a bit.

"It's late but the sun is barely setting. This is why I love the summer months. It takes a while for everything to be in total darkness and you can really appreciate every shade of yellow, orange and red before it's time for the stars to shine." Tobin closes her eyes for a few seconds, a couple rays of sunshine hit her face as they step away from the shadow of a large tree.

Christen squints as she gazes up at the sky and giggles, "Gosh, you are so adorably corny sometimes." 

Tobin turns to face Christen, a smile spreads across her face and the butterflies in her stomach flap their wings more rapidly. The shadows of the tall trees pass over Christen's face as they continue walking.

"I know, but you have to admit it's one of the most beautiful things you can witness every single day. Even on a bad day, you can walk outside at the end of it and watch the sun go down." Tobin breathes in deeply and lets it out slowly. 

Christen looks at Tobin and smiles. "See. Corny." She pokes Tobin's side and begins heading toward the apartment.

Tobin grabs her hand to pull her back before she steps off the sidewalk. "Wait." 

"I don't need you to hold my hand. I know how to cross the street Tobin." Christen laughs.

Tobin reluctantly lets go of Christen's hand, "I know. You were just going the wrong way."

"I'm pretty sure that's your apartment right there." Christen points to the apartments across the street

"It is but I told Kelley we would meet up with her in the park. She's taking Skip out for a walk before we start our marathon. We have to tire him out if we want at least 3 hours without him running around the apartment like a maniac."

They walk onto a wide path that leads them by a small pond. They continue on the path until Tobin steps off and lightly pulls Christen backpack.

"This way."

"Tobin.. use your words." Christen readjusts her backpack.

"Sorry... but I sort of did," Tobin flashes Christen a smile then walks straight to a picnic table, jumps on top of the seat and turns around to sit down on the table top. "Sit. I told her we would wait for her here." She says as she leans onto her stretched out arms behind her.

Christen sits down on the seat and rests her arm on Tobin's lap. Her eyes follow the length of the tall trees in front of them and beyond, onto the darkening sky. "You were kind of right about sunsets. You know, when I planned my trip to Sweden I didn't know how much I was going to miss the west coast weather or the warm sunsets. In Sweden it gets so cold once the sun goes down but the sunsets in the west coast during the summer sometimes stay warm up until late at night. Me and Kelley would sneak out to the beach to talk when the nights were disgustingly hot and sometimes we'd dip our feet in the water. I really could have used one of those nights a few months ago..." Christen trails off.

"Now look who's the one getting corny about the sunset."  Tobin covers her mouth as she yawns.

"Are you tired?"

"A little. I haven't been sleeping well. I've had some trouble falling asleep and my internal clock makes me wake up at 5 am sometimes." Tobin shrugs. "But show me a college student who doesn't struggle to get their 8 hours of sleep."

"I had the same problem a few months ago so I would do this on my arm," Christen brings her arm down from Tobin's lap and rakes her fingers up and down her inner forearm.

Tobin slowly leans forward as she listens to the soothing tone in Christen's voice and becomes absolutely captivated by the movement of her hand.

"Or I draw patterns that soothe me enough to fall asleep a little faster." Christen drags her fingers up again but this time she also moves her fingers from side to side, like she is drawing small waves and then stops. "It's what my mom did for me when I was younger but when she did it I would knock out in seconds. It doesn't always work but it always works on me when someone else does it."

"My mom usually hugged me tight against her chest and I would fall asleep listening to the sound of her heartbeat when I couldn't sleep after watching a scary movie."

Christen's phone pings in her backpack again and this time she pulls it out. She looks at the screen and swipes away all the texts from Vero. "So how long are we going to wait for Kelley?"

"Chris," Tobin puts a hand on Christen's shoulder. "Is everything ok with you and Vero? I don't mean to pry but you sounded a little... mad when you were Skyping with her a while ago." Tobin begins to play with the hairtie on her wrist, "My Spanish is shit and I can't speak it at all but I can understand some words, like 'por favor' and 'no puedo'. Are you two good?"

Christen shrugs, "We're ok."

"Are you really? Because you just ignored her text."

Christen leans back and her chest rises as she sighs loudly.

"You don't have to tell me, just know I'm here for you if you want to talk-"

Christen cuts Tobin off. "She kissed someone... Well, her friend got drunk and kissed her but since then she's been feeling insecure. She thinks I'm going to stray or that one of my friends will do the same thing her's did."

"She's worried about you cheating because her friend kissed her? How did she even..." Tobin tries to make sense of the situation and trails off when she sees Christen's face fall and the sad lab puppy makes another appearance. It pains Tobin to see Christen like this.

"We got into a huge argument about it right after it happened. I cried, I yelled, I stayed mad for a while but I slowly got over it. I could have made it into a bigger deal but in the end it was just one kiss..." Christen chews on her bottom lip hard enough for it to feel a bit raw a moment later.

Tobin wonders if there is anything else bothering Christen but decides not to pry even more. "Yeah, it was just a kiss. A kiss can mean nothing or it can be everything, it just depends who it's from."

Tobin tries to not get sucked in by Christen's stare as Christen lets the words sink in but Tobin can't help but admire those beautiful green eyes, even when they tried to hide great sadness. They break eye contact when they hear a faint bark in the distance. A few seconds later Skip comes running out from behind a few trees. His leash flapping behind him as it catches wind. Kelley emerges from the row of trees running after him a minute later.

"Oh my god. He got even bigger since I last saw him." Christen kneels down on the grass and lets Skip run into her arms. "Hey buddy." She scratches behind his ears and Skip rolls onto his back to get a belly rub.

Tobin hops off the table and grabs the leash as Kelley reaches them. "Did you let him go or did he pull really hard?" She attempts to stifle a laugh but still lets out a small giggle.

Kelley tries to catch her breath for a few more seconds before answering, "Both. I almost fell on my face trying to keep up with him once he saw both of you here."

Christen tugs on the leash and Tobin lets it go. Christen wraps it around her own hand. "You guys ready to head home? Harry Potter marathon awaits." She stands up and starts walking back to the apartment with Kelley and Tobin following her a few steps behind. 

Halfway to the apartment Kelley turns to Tobin. "She called it home. You know she's going to take over and act like she own the place now."

Tobin watches as Skip happily walks with Christen and surprisingly not tugging on his leash like he does with almost everyone. "I don't mind and you don't either. Both of you practically had your own drawers in each other's old bedrooms."

Kelley tilts her head to the side as she thinks then nods in agreement. "Oh that's true. But now I need my extra drawer for Hope so you'll have to give her one of yours once she starts leaving things behind and trust me she will leave many things behind."

"I'll just give her a whole shelf on the rack in the laundry room and add some colorful storage boxes for her things." Tobin pulls her phone out and goes straight to her Amazon app. She finds the boxes and purchases them before they reach their front door.

While Kelley fumbles with the keys, Christen asks, "Is Hope going to stop by today?"

"Yeah but only to drop off the pizza in few minutes. She's going out with her rugby team tonight."

They get into the apartment and begin getting things ready for the marathon. Christen makes herself at home and sits on the couch with Skip. Kelley pulls out a few extra blankets from the laundry room as the AC kicks in. She throws them onto the couch while Tobin gets the paper plates and drinks. Kelley sits down with Christen while Tobin takes her time setting up the DVD player. By the time she gets to the menu Hope shows up with the pizza. Skip immediately jumps off the couch to sniff Hope as Kelley and Christen get up.

"Hey boo," Kelley says as she stretches up to kiss her girlfriend.

"Hey. I brought you your pizza and..." Hope brings her other arm around, no longer hiding the pastry box behind her back, "some pie."

"You're a peach." Kelley gives Hope a peck on the cheek and takes the box to the fridge. "I'll save it for later."

Hope sets the pizza box on the table.

"So we finally meet." Christen steps forward and eyes Hope up and down. "You hurt her and I'll-"

Tobin quickly comes up behind Christen and grabs her shoulders to pull her back a bit. "Hold on." Tobin throws her arm around Christen's shoulder and stands up straighter. "Hope, you and I have already had that talk but listen, you hurt her and you'll have to deal with us both."

Kelley walks back to them and wraps an arm around Hope's waist.

"I know and the rest of the soccer team. I've literally had this talk with most of you." Hope says as she pulls Kelley closer and rests her hand on Kelley's ass, giving her a little squeeze. 

"What talk?" Kelley asks.

"The 'You hurt her and I'll kill you.' talk." Hope replies.

"Oh that talk, I have so much fun with that talk. I remember scaring the shit out of Vero when she started dating Chris. I loved it. I'm still waiting for Tobin to stick with a girl so I can get the chance to have that talk." Kelley jokes.

Tobin drops her arm from Christen's shoulder and reaches for the pizza box. "I'm starving so I'ma just..." She proceeds to stuff her mouth with pizza and sit down on the couch.

"Uh huh, walk away." Kelley teases.

"I should go. I don't want to be late." Hope gives Kelley one more kiss and turns back to Christen. "I'm glad I finally got to meet you and hopefully next time we can actually hang out for more than a few minutes."

"Mmhm." Christen grabs a slice and sits down next to Tobin.

Kelley walks Hope out the door to kiss her goodbye one more time before heading back inside to get her own slice then sits next to Christen. Tobin pushes play as soon as Kelley sits down.

"So.." Kelley starts off and turns to look at Christen. "Well, what do you think of Hope? Do you like her?"

Christen sets her pizza on her plate and turns to Kelley. "I liked her since before I met her Kelley. I just wanted to give her a hard time. Tobin has been telling me how happy she makes you so why wouldn't I like her?" Christen lifts up her pizza. "Plus she brought pizza."

"Ok good, I really wanted you to like her because I really really love her and I don't know what I would do if you two didn't get along."

"I'm glad you're happy. She's great Kel, now can we watch the movie." 

As the second movie comes to an end, Christen excuses herself to set up her laptop in Kelley's room to Skype with Vero.  Kelley puts in the next DVD while Tobin makes a bowl of popcorn. They let the dvd menu repeat a few times and continue to eat a bit of the popcorn as they wait for Christen to return

Christen comes out 10 minutes later with a white box with a big green bow. She walks straight to Kelley, "Happy birthday Kelley."

"What is it?" 

"Kel just open it." Tobin says as she yawns.

Kelley rips off the ribbon holding the lid down and opens the box, "What is it?" She repeats as she slowly pulls out the gift.

Christen grabs it and holds it up for Kelley to see. "It's a squirrel onesie. I saw some girl wearing one in Ali's dorm and I remembered the story Tobin told me of you trying to lure a squirrel with Doritos during your cross-country trip so I got one sent to my parent's place the next day. I would have sent it here but I wanted to wrap it myself. It's cool isn't it." Christen turns it around, "It even has the little tail."

"It's ridiculous, I love it!" Kelley says as she stands up and starts to unzip her pants. "I want to wear it right now."

"It's not a summertime outfit but go ahead put it on." Christen gives Kelley the onesie and sits back down with Tobin as Kelley runs to the bathroom.

"So how'd it go?" Tobin asks and takes a sip of water.

"With?" Christen grabs a hand full of popcorn from the bowl on Tobin's lap, "Oh Vero! Yeah. It was a good talk. We'll be fine. The distance sucks but we've dealt with it before."

Tobin hands Christen the bowl as Kelley walks out and shakes her squirrel tail. "Definitely suits you Kel. Now come sit so we can finish The Prisoner of Azkaban."

Fifteen minutes into the third movie Tobin begins to nod off. Christen watches her fight sleep for a few minutes before finally shaking Tobin's thigh to get her attention.

"You should go to bed." Christen whispers.

"One more." Tobin yawns.

"Are you sure you can make it? You look like you're ready to fall asleep on me and start drooling." Christen teases.

"I don't drool," Tobin yawns again as she stands up and stretches. "But you're right, I'm super sleepy. Kel, my keys are hanging by the door so you can take Christen home later. I'ma get ready for bed. Good night you guys." 

"Good night." Kelley replies as her eyes stay fixed on the screen then mouths the next line.

"Good night Tobin." Christen pulls her blanket over her torso after losing the warmth Tobin provided. She grabs the blanket Tobin left behind and throws it over her legs.

Skip follows Tobin to the bathroom while she gets ready for bed and then follows her to the bedroom. While Tobin changes into her PJs and sets her things out for her morning work out, Skip patiently waits near the door for a command.

Tobin gets under the covers and calls out to Skip. "Alright big guy, come on."

Skips jumps onto the bed and walks around in a circle then he drops down next to Tobin. Skip begins to snore almost immediately and Tobin is a little envious of how quickly he can fall asleep. She carefully turns to her side as to not disturb Skip and brings her left hand to rest palm up next to her pillow. Slowly, she runs her finger tips up and down her inner forearm. After a few minutes she gives up on trying Christen's method and gets out of bed to turn on the ceiling fan. She watches it spin for what feels like hours, the steady rhythm of the fan finally lulling her to sleep a little before midnight.

* * *

During the night, a sleeping Kelley follows Christen's warmth and leaves her little room to move. In the morning Kelley's ice cold feet graze Christen's so she scoots away a few inches and almost falls off the bed. Her eyes shoot open as she feels the edge of the bed on her back. She nudges Kelley a bit to make her move back to her side and when she does Christen gets comfortable again. Just as she begins to fall back asleep she hears the music and covers her head with the pillow in frustration.

Maybe they shouldn't have stayed up talking most of the night. Christen groans, "Which asshole neighbor of yours likes to play loud music in the morning?"

Kelley turns to her side and clears her throat. "That asshole would be our friend Tobin. She likes to workout as soon as she wakes up." Kelley lays back down on her stomach and murmurers, "She'll be done in 40 mins. Just try to sleep through it. I always do."

Christen lays down on her side and stares at the bedroom door. She hears a few odd sounds for the first 10 minutes, like someone landing hard on the carpeted floor and tires to imagine what workout Tobin is doing. The next thirty minutes are only filled with Tobin's music and Christen tries to figure out what she is doing. Christen finally gets out of bed when the urge to pee can no longer be ignored. When she comes out of the bathroom, Tobin is in the kitchen, dripping sweat down her face and chugging a big glass of water. Christen takes in the sight of her wearing some faded black sweatpants with a US team logo on them and her black Nike sweater.

"Morning." Christen says as she leans on the counter.

"Good morning. I guess you didn't go home last night." Tobin says then finishes the rest of her water.

"Nope.  Decided to have a little sleepover with Kel." Christen grabs the bag of mini donuts from the counter, "Do you mind?"

"Go ahead." Tobin says as she sets the glass in the sink.

Christen takes a few of the powdered donuts and closes the bag. She eats slowly as she watches Tobin pull her iPod from her pocket and stop the music coming from her room.

Tobin catches her staring at the logo and tries to discreetly cover it by pulling the hem of the sweater over it. "Is Kelley up already?" .

Christen wipes her hands clean on her shirt then takes the hairtie from her wrist and puts her hair in a ponytail. "She's awake but she's still in bed."

"Do you guys want me to make breakfast? I can skip my run today."

Kelley walks out of the hallway still wearing her squirrel onesie. "Aw yeah! Make some waffles."

"Why don't we can go to that 24 hour diner? My treat." Christen says.

Kelley raises her eyebrows at Tobin and smirks.

Tobin glares at Kelley before turning back to Christen, "Save your money. I can make you guys breakfast here, just let me take a quick shower."

Tobin begins to walk toward the hallway but Christen steps in her way. Christen places her hand on her hip and studies Kelley's face as Kelley slowly makes her way to the dinning table.

"What are you guys not telling me? Did you guys get banned from there or something?"

"We didn't get banned, we just don't go there anymore." Kelley replies.

Tobin groans and leans back against the counter. She didn't think this would be brought up again. It had been months ago and she and Ella were over it and in good terms.

Christen's brow furrows as she asks, "Why?"

"Do you want to tell her or should I? I kind of knew that it was going to bite you in the ass one day." Kelley crosses her arms.

Tobin sighs. "It's not that big of a deal." She turns to face Christen but can't get the words out so she looks down at the floor. "We stopped going there because I screwed things up with the waitress-"

"More like you screwed the waitress." Kelley laughs.

"Oh my god. I'ma kill you Kelley." Tobin grabs a kitchen towel and throws it at Kelley.

Kelley dodges it. "You can't. It's my birthday weekend and Hope is picking me up this afternoon. Who is she going to take out if I'm dead."

"I'm sure she'll understand after I tell her her girlfriend has a huge mouth."

"That's it? So you had sex with the waitress, who cares?" Christen shrugs. "Why can't you go back?"

Tobin slowly takes her hair down as she talks. "Two words. Girl. Drama. She thought once we had sex we were exclusive even after I repeatedly told her that wasn't what I wanted. Then she saw me with someone else and she got mad. We had both been drinking so we argued and said some dumb shit. I apologized to her later that week but now it's just a little too awkward to go back there since I avoided going there for so long already."

"Oh ok. I understand girl drama. So I guess you're on breakfast duty then. Go shower and I'll start taking out the ingredients for the waffles." Christen walks around Tobin and begins to open the cabinets. "Do you guys also add fresh fruit to your waffles? I can cut the fruit too."

"I usually just make the waffles and some scrambled eggs but I think we have some strawberries and blueberries in the fridge." Tobin replies as she heads to her room to grab her things.

*

Tobin whips up chocolate chip waffles and they sit down to eat in the living room as they watch some cartoons.

Kelley scarfs down her breakfast. "Thanks for the breakfast. Now I can go get ready and pack for my birthday weekend."

Tobin pops a strawberry in her mouth and chews it quickly. "Kel, you had a whole week to pack and you leave it for the last minute?"

"Yeah. It's only a weekend trip." Kelley shrugs as she walks to her room.

"What are your plans for this weekend?" Christen asks as she sets her fork down on her plate and grabs her glass of milk from the coffee table.

"I don't have anything planned. I thought I would see if you wanted to hangout again today. I have to work on Sunday but today I'm completely free." 

Christen finishes her last bite of waffle. "Well what do you usually do when you have a free day?"

"Most of the time I'm with Skip. I teach him some tricks and I've been trying to get him to stop chasing small animals in the park." Tobin stacks her plate on top of Christen's and grabs Kelley's plate as she stands up and heads to the sink. "We don't have to do that. We can do something else. I can show you around campus or around the city."

Tobin begins to wash the dishes as Christen picks up their cups.

"I don't need a tour of the campus, I know it well enough to get lost only a little. Hanging out with Skip all day sounds more fun than anything I can come up with." Christen grabs the plates from Tobin and sets them on the drying rack.

"Thanks." Tobin's body buzzes with excitement at the thought of hanging out with Christen all day.

"Speaking of Skip, shouldn't he be whining to be let out by now to do his business?" Christen looks around the living room and kitchen.

Tobin hands Christen the forks. "I took him out way before I did my work out. We were both up a little before sunrise. I got dressed and took him out for a short walk to the park and he fell asleep again in his doghouse outside."

"How was it?" Christen asks as Tobin hand her the towel to dry her hands.

"What? The walk?" Tobin says as she walks back to the couch and starts flipping through the channels. Her palms a little sweaty as Christen drops down on the couch a few inches from her. Tobin didn't want to pay too close attention to how naturally beautiful Christen looked in the mornings.

"The sunrise."

"Beautiful as always. Most of the time, if I manage to wake up before the sunrise, I go for my run first then do my work out after." Tobin hands the control to Christen when she struggles to find anything worth watching.

"Wish I had brought my yoga mat. Right about now I would be in my small dorm doing some stretches to start off my day or probably still sleeping." Christen flips through a few more channels and stops on an episode of House Hunters that is near it's end. "You wake up way too early and your music is really loud."

"I told you I've been waking up early often. If I had known you stayed over I wouldn't have played my music that loud. Kelley can pretty much sleep through anything." Tobin moves her damp hair to the side and combs her fingers through the bottom half. "What time do you want to go back to your dorm to shower and change your clothes? Before or after we take Skip to the park?"

"We can go now while he is still napping and I can bring back my box of baking supplies. It's just a couple pans and other little things I thought I might need later. Let me get my phone from Kelley's room and we can leave." Christen gets up as Kelley walks out. "You look nice."

Kelley spins around in her dress. "I know. So what are you guys doing today?"

"Hanging out here with Skip mostly. Nothing as exciting as your birthday trip." Tobin says as she stands up and pats her pockets to make sure she has her phone with her. 

Christen peeks her head out, "Oh, Tobin, can you take me to the bookstore too? I have a few books I forgot to get yesterday and I need them for a class in a couple days."

Tobin nods, "Sure."

Christen bites her lip. "...Um, can we go to Target after? I want to get a few things for my dorm too."

"That reminds me," Tobin turns to Kelley. "Did you find the needle for the soccer balls?"

"Uh.." Kelley slowly turns away from Tobin and starts walking toward the kitchen.

Tobin breathes in deeply, "Well I guess I have to stop by Target too. Might as well run all my errands today. Christen, you don't mind, right?"

 *

Tobin smoothly glides over the sidewalk on her long board with Christen holding Skip's leash a few feet behind her. They circle the park with Skip twice, before they start heading to the same picnic table from yesterday. Tobin kicks up the long board before they step off the path.

"I probably should get out of your hair. We've been attached at the hip for almost two days now, you must be tired of hanging out with me." Christen hands Tobin Skip's leash.

Tobin takes it and wraps it around her hand. "If anything I would think you would get tired of dealing with me and Skip all day today. He's a handful sometimes."

Christen laughs. "Are you kidding me? He's a joy to be around. You on the other hand..."

"Chose your next words wisely." Tobin teases and bumps her shoulder against Christen's.

"You on the other hand are an absolute delight," Christen hooks her arm with Tobin's and points to the horizon. "We're about to witness another beautiful day come to an end with a gorgeous sunset. If every day ends like these past two days, I think I'm going to really enjoy college life."

"Wait til classes start before you make statements like that."

They find the table empty and sit down to watch the sun set. Tobin hands back the leash to Christen when Skip keeps tugging on it to sit closer to Christen.

"My dog really likes you. He doesn't even want me holding his leash when you're around." Tobin leans forward and talks to Skip, "I hope you know you're hurting my feelings Skip."

"I like you too Skip." Christen pats Skip's head. "You can drop me off after this. I know you have work tomorrow and you probably want to go to bed early."

Tobin smiles as she sees Skip completely content next to Christen, his tongue out as he shuts his eyes from the rays of sunshine hitting them. "I do have to work tomorrow but I'm not tired enough to sleep right now. We could watch another Harry Potter movie and order some takeout again."

Tobin doesn't want today to end but she knows this full day with just Christen is more than she could've asked for. Christen could have hung out with any of her other friends and Tobin knows it won't always be like this, just the two of them. She is a little relieved by that fact but she still wishes there was more hours left to this perfect day. She only feels a little guilty for not wanting it to end.

"You are tired. You have been yawning so much the last couple of hours I actually lost count." Christen clears her throat. "Besides, I told Vero I would Skype with her tonight before classes suck up most of our time. Maybe we can finish off the marathon another weekend?"

"Yeah, ok." Tobin stands up. "We should start heading back then, before it gets too dark and we struggle to find the path back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Hold - The XX  
> The Middle - Wet  
> Falling On My Face - BJ The Chicago Kid


	16. You Up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stand By Me - The Temptations  
> It's Alright - Fractures  
> Hard Times - Paramore  
> Carry On - Young Risings Sons

The blades on the ceiling fan look clean to Tobin but she wonders when was the last time she wiped them down. She watches it spin for what seems like hours but she knows it's only been about 30 minutes since she got into bed. Headlights shine through her window and she turns away from the harsh light.

Her leg accidentally brushes against Skip as he sleeps at the foot of her bed. He sits up then walks around in a circle and plops back down next to her. He looks at her again as her phone lights up and shines up at the ceiling. She turns onto her back and palms around her nightstand until her hand lands on her phone. She squints at the brightness as she reads the texts and her heart starts racing.

CP: You up?

CP: Nevermind. You're probably in bed already.

Tobin checks the time and starts typing a quick response.

TH:In bed but not asleep. What's up?

Her phone rings seconds later, a photo of Skip and Christen pops up, she smiles at the picture before swipes the screen to answer.

 _"Hey."_ Christen whispers.

Tobin takes a deep breath, "What's up?" she asks as she sits up against the headboard.

 _"Are you hungry? I s_ _till owe you that In n Out hamburger from our bet last year,"_ Christen sighs, _" ...but you probably don't want a hamburger since you're in bed already. Forget it. Sorry I called."_

Tobin kicks the blankets off and slips on her shoes. She had already forgotten about the bet but Christen apparently decided it was a good cover for the fact the she wants to talk. Tobin didn't mind being dragged out of bed when a friend needs someone to talk to.  "I'll text you when I'm outside your dorm." She looks down at her pajama pants and faded US soccer tee then starts looking for a sweater.

" _Are...are you sure?_ "

"Yup. Be there in a bit. Bye." Tobin grabs her Nike sweater and her wallet before walking out.

Skip whines as he follows her out to the front door. Tobin grabs her keys then grabs Skip's leash. "Ok buddy, you can come with me but you're sitting in the back."

Tobin secures Skip in the back seat then drives off to the dorms. She sends Christen a text and eagerly waits for her. It's only been a few hours since they last saw each other but the butterflies in her stomach don't seem to care as they flap their wings in anticipation.

Christen pushes the door wide open and comes out of the building with a messy bun, a red t-shirt that looked a little too small on her and gray sweatpants. She smiles as she sees Tobin straight ahead and starts jogging toward the car. "Hey! I didn't think you would come."

"I told you I would and I brought someone who would be excitedly jumping all over the you right now if I hadn't tied him down." Tobin looks back and pats Skip's head as he begins to tug on his leash. She thinks maybe she subconsciously brought him along so she could have a little buffer between them if she needed it.

Christen turns around and lets Skip lick her hand, "He's such a good boy. Definitely the best boy ever." 

Tobin slowly rolls out of the parking lot and onto the street. "So I'm not really in the mood for a hamburger right now but I won't say no to a chocolate milk shake."

"Yeah that's fine. I'll just get you your hamburger a few months from now when I remember the bet again. I just don't want to be in my dorm right now. I need a little break..." Christen starts moving the radio dial. "A study break."

Tobin pulls out her iPod from the glove compartment and hands it to Christen. "It's connected. If you want, we can listen to the radio though."

"No, no...I'd rather check out your taste in music." Christen says as she scrolls through a few songs before choosing one.

"Are you getting anything at In n Out? Or are we seriously just going for my milk shake?" Tobin asks as she slows down the car before reaching the intersection across from their destination.

"I guess I'll get fries. I could use a little snack. I'll probably study for another hour when I get back then go to bed." Christen sets the iPod down in the empty cup holder then unbuckles her seat belt.

"What are you doing?" Tobin glances at Christen then looks back at the traffic light.

"I'm going to sit in the back with Skip. I could really use some puppy cuddles right now." Christen says as she turns around, climbs over the console and tries to squeeze between the two front seats without disturbing Tobin.

Tobin grips the steering wheel nervously, "Chris, the light is green and I have two cars behind me. Hurry up."

"I know." Christen quickly throws her self onto the backseat, "Ok go!"

Tobin lightly steps on the gas pedal then turns on her signal. "You good?"

Christen sits up and hugs Skip as Tobin drives into the parking lot. "Yup. Go to the drive-thru, I don't want to leave this cutie in here alone. You don't mind if we eat in your car, right?."

Tobin goes through the drive-thru and places their order while Christen whispers things to Skip as she pets him.

"Here." Christen hands Tobin a 20 dollar bill.

Tobin pays and hands Christen back her change. "You'll need this too." She grabs a small bottle of hand sanitizer from the console and passes it back to Christen.

"Thanks." Christen says as she squeezes out a bit into her hand.

"So, what's up? What's going on?" Tobin asks as she grabs their food and sets it down before leaving the drive-thru.

Christen shrugs. "Not much. Just needed a study break."

"Really?" Tobin parks and turns off the ignition then turns around. "On the phone it sounded like you needed to talk. I'm here. I'm listening."

Christen looks down at Skip as he lays his head on her lap. "Can I just have my fries?"

"Sure." Tobin hands the bag over to Christen and faces forward again as she drinks her milk shake. She turns the music up and they finish their snacks without even a word from either of them.

Tobin can't help but feel like she pushed too early and now Christen won't want to talk. She turns the radio down to ask Christen if she wants to go back to the dorms now but Christen begins to make her way back to the front seats.

"You know you could just use the doors." Tobin says as she leans away to give Christen more room to move.

Christen places her hands on the dash to steady herself as she brings her legs over. "I know, but this is more fun." She sits down and turns toward Tobin with her mouth slightly open.

"...Do you want to talk?" Tobin hesitantly asks.

"Um...can we just drive around for a bit?" Christen bites on her bottom lip. "I'll give you gas money-"

"No that's fine. I love late night drives too." Tobin turns the car on and drives out of the parking lot. After a few minutes she briefly turns to look at Christen. "Whenever you're ready, Chris. Or not. We don't have to talk. We can keep driving around aimlessly. Just tell me when you're ready to go back to the dorms."

Christen takes a deep breath. "Your first year of college, was it this stressful for you? So many people seem to be handling their first year so much better than me. I just feel like I'm not cut out for college life."

"Oh, ok. Yeah the first few weeks were stressful but exciting. You'll soon have a schedule worked out that makes it much easier for you to deal with the classes and the workload. You'll figure out which classes require minimal effort or one in which attendance doesn't matter and from there you can carve out time for other things." Tobin gives Christen a reassuring pat on her knee.

Christen sinks into the seat and looks out the window. "Right now it just feels like I'm doing too much and not enough at the same time. You know?"

"What time is it?" Tobin asks as she slows down and starts to turn the car around in an empty street.

"Almost 11. Why?" 

"We got at least 30 minutes then. Do you need to go back to the dorms to study or can I keep you out a little while longer?" Tobin turns left and steps on the gas.

"I think I'm done studying for tonight. Where are you taking me?" Christen asks as she sits up.

"You know what you need?"

"No, I don't, what do you think I need Tobin?"

"A good distraction and maybe to just take your frustration out on..." Tobin turns to Christen and smirks as she tries to contain her excitement. "You know what, close your eyes. This should be a surprise. I promise you're gonna love it."

Christen laughs. "Seriously?" She sits back and closes her eyes.

"Yeah. How is your hand-eye coordination?"

"Good. Why? What are we going to do?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing crazy. You'll love it."

Tobin finds the perfect parking so she can still keep an eye on Skip once they go inside. "Ok, we're here. We're in luck, it looks pretty empty tonight."

The odd clink of metal and fence rattling sounds confuse her a bit as her eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright florescent lights. "Where are we?"

Tobin grabs her wallet and takes out a few five dollar bills. "Batting cages. It's definitely safer than most things people usually do when they feel stressed. It's fun and you get to take out all your frustrations on the ball."

"You think this is going to help?" Christen says as she opens her door.

"It might and if it doesn't then we can try something else." Tobin lowers all the windows a bit and gives Skip a small treat. "Be back in a bit bud."

"Are we leaving this little angel in the car?" Christen pouts.

"He's not allowed inside. Don't worry about him. We wont be gone long and he knows how to behave when he's in the car alone." Tobin says as she removes his leash before closing the door.

Skip jumps over to the front and sticks his nose out the window before sitting back down.

Christen walks around the car and waits for Tobin. "Well, meditating an extra two times a day didn't really do much and I guess this is better than being cooped up in my room stressing out."

They walk around to the entrance then Tobin heads to the little stand to get Christen the equipment needed and a few tokens.

"Here." Tobin gives Christen the helmet and the bat. She flicks a token up into the air then catches it, "These are for the little box inside. Each token gives you six balls to hit."

Christen sets the bat and helmet by the cage door and ties her hair into a low ponytail, "It's not going to throw a ball straight at me is it? I have enough bruises on my legs from defenders."

"Don't step on the home plate and you'll be good." Tobin opens the door for Christen and hands her the tokens.

"Ok." Christen puts a token in the machine and quickly shoves the rest into her pocket.

"Stand in the box and wait a couple seconds."

Christen nods and quickly pulls her shirt down.

The machine in front of her starts up and a ball comes flying toward her. She swings and misses then fixes her shirt again.

"You'll get the next one and if you don't you have more tokens in your pocket to keep trying." Tobin shoves her hands in her pocket as Christen gets ready for the next ball. Her eyes fall on Christen's exposed midsection as the shirt rises again. "Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Christen grunts as she swings again, this time hitting the ball with the tip of the bat and causing it to fly up at the netting above. "Yeah." This time she leaves her shirt alone and positions herself in the box again. 

"Ok whenever you're ready." Tobin says as she watches Christen swing again and actually hit the ball correctly this time. "You got it!"

Christen hits the next three balls and walks out of the cage. "Your turn." She hands Tobin a token then the bat and helmet.

"Nice crop top." Tobin teases.

Christen pulls it down and pulls her sweats a little higher. "Shut up."

Tobin walks in and pushes her sleeves of her sweater up before putting a token in. She plants her feet inside the box and waits.

"So how do you know you chose the right major?"

Tobin hits the ball perfectly then answers Christen as she gets ready for the next ball, "That's what you're worried about? Not choosing the right major? You know you can change it right?"

"Yeah but what if I'm almost done with my degree and I decide then that it's not what I want. I'm already behind because I took a year off. I don't want to enter the job market even later than I already am."

Tobin pulls her sleeves up again and gets ready for the next ball.

"I can hold your sweater for you if it's bothering you."

"No, I'm good." Tobin swings and misses. She wipes the sweat from her palms and grips the bat tighter as she gets ready for the next ball.

"You sure?"

Tobin turns around and lets the ball hit the soft pad hanging behind the home plate. "Do you love your major right now? Do you like your classes?"

"Yeah, I guess. I've always wanted to study psychology..." Christen looks over Tobin's shoulder as another balls come flying out. "You're wasting your token."

Tobin briefly looks back and shrugs. "This is more important. What do you plan to do with your degree after you graduate?"

"I'm not sure yet" Christen says slowly.

"But you want something in that field, right?" Tobin turns around as another ball hits the pad.

"Yeah of course, I just don't know what."

"Ok, I think I get it now." Tobin steps into the box again and waits for the last ball.

"You get what?" Christen crosses her arms.

"You choose the right major," Tobin swings and sends the ball flying past the highest pole holding the net up. "but you haven't narrowed down your specialty. Not a big deal. You don't need to have everything planned out this minute." She steps out of the cage and removes the helmet.

"I guess I don't but I think I would feel a lot better if I knew which courses I should be trying to sign up for in the future." Christen takes the helmet and she leans against the metal fence.

"You'll find your specialty or it'll find you." Tobin holds the bat out for Christen.

Christen laughs, "That was cheesy." She pulls out the tokens from her pocket and puts them in Tobin's sweater. "I think I'm done with batting cage therapy. You can keep going. I don't mind watching you."

Tobin nervously plays with the strings on her hoodie, "I'll save them for another time. They're closing soon and I'm sure Skip wants to be back asleep in my bed. He's gotten used to sleeping with me since June and just don't have the heart to put him out in his dog house." 

Tobin returns the helmet and bat then they head back out to the parking lot.

Christen startles Tobin as she reaches into her sweater and takes out a token, "I'ma keep this."

Tobin takes out another two, "Take more."

"I just want this as a reminder of this fun night." Christen stares at the token as she moves it between her fingers. "I wonder what wise words Kelley would have had for me if she were the one that I talked to tonight."

Tobin secures Skip again and she gets into the driver seat. She puts the key in the ignition and turns to Christen, "So I wasn't your first choice?"

"I called Kelley before I texted you but... she was a little busy with Hope." Christen laughs as she remembers the call, "This idiot accidentally answered my call in the middle of sex instead of rejecting it and I hung up on her so fast I almost dropped my phone on my laptop."

Tobin turns on the car and starts heading toward the dorms. "So I was your second choice then?"

"Well, yeah but Kelley has been my best friend for so many years and she knows how to deal with me when I get freaked out about the future. You give pretty good advice too." Christen answers as she looks out the window.

"I do?" Tobin's butterflies come back and she bites her lip.

"Yeah. Can I call you next time I'm having an existential crisis?"

"Absolutely," Tobin smiles as she pulls up to the entrance of the building.

Christen turns to Tobin as she takes off her seat belt. "Day or night?"

Tobin smiles and nods.

Christen skeptically raises an eyebrow at her, "Midnight?"

"Yes."

"What about 2 am? Can I call you then?"

Tobin sighs, "Midnight, 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, 4 am... Should I keep going?"

"Yes please." Christen smirks.

"Get out." Tobin dead-pans then laughs. "I'm serious, Christen. Any time, ok?

Christen leans over and pulls Tobin in for a quick hug, "Thank you Tobin."

"You're welcome. Now go get some sleep."

Christen steps out and turns back to Tobin, "Good night Tobin." She turns to the back window and says good night to Skip too before leaving.

Tobin returns to the apartment and gets ready to get back into bed. As soon as Skip stops walking in circles and lays down next to her, she stares up at the fan again and this time she feels sleep begin to pull her in within seconds.


	17. Where's Tobin?

A few of the freshman show up to the locker room early and are already dress by the time Tobin walks in. The locker room is about as lively as it can get with only seven girls in there. The juniors and seniors didn't show up as early as some of the sophomores and freshman since they knew exactly how much time they needed to prep for the game.

JJ sits between Kelley's legs as she finishes up a a braid on the side of her head. Tobin drops down next to Kelley as JJ stands up and fixes her shorts. "You want to go next Tobin? We've got plenty of time, I can do a french braid this time."

"Nah." Tobin slips off her shoes. "Have you seen Christen? I thought she would've been one of the first ones here."

Kelley shrugs. "I don't know but she has twenty minutes to show up before the coach does."

Tobin tries to distract herself from the pregame nerves she recently developed. She points to the small group of girls huddled around a freshman with a tablet. "What's going on over there?"

"Lets find out." Kelley pulls Tobin up with her then pushes her way into the small circle. "You guys watching cat videos over here?"

"No, we're just reading an article about the USWNT coach announcing her retirement a year early. A few sports websites already have a list of who could be replacing her in a few months."

A familiar tingle returns to Tobin's fingers and she knows what's about to happen in the next few minutes. No matter how hard she will try, she knows that nothing will stop the upcoming panic attack from ruining her day. Tobin begins to back away from the group, she turns around and tries to stay calm long enough to make it to a bathroom stall. 

The freshman with the tablet lifts it up to show the girls a picture of one of the possible coaches. "I hear she is their first choice to take over."

Another girl chimes in. "Well obviously, she's been with the team as an assistant coach for a few years now."

JJ walks up to the group. "I read somewhere that she want's to start scouting some fresh blood from a few colleges but I don't think she'll actually show up for games. She'll probably just watch some game highlights."

The chest pains start as Tobin almost breaks free from the group without anyone noticing her. She rubs her chest with a trembling hand but it does little to relieve the pain.

It's Kelley who finally turns around and sees Tobin slowly walking away. At first she doesn't notice anything odd until Tobin sways a bit as she walks toward the bathroom. She walks over to Tobin and places a hand on her shoulder. Tobin looks pale and has small beads of sweat on her forehead.

"Tobs, you ok?" Kelley whispers.

Tobin's chest rises and falls rapidly. She feels a sense of dread as she hears the blood rushing in her ears. "I ..I don't thin-" Tobin covers her mouth and runs toward the bathroom. She barely manages to make it to the toilet before she vomits her pregame snack.

Kelley grabs a water bottle before running over to Tobin. JJ looks over to Kling before they both follow Kelley to help her with Tobin. JJ grabs a towel and pulls a chair with her into the bathroom.

Kling pulls her collar over her nose and mouth. "Well I guess Tobin is going to be the first one to go down with the stomach bug going around campus. No team game night this weekend then." Kling says as she helps Kelley pull Tobin up onto the chair.

JJ hands Tobin the towel to wipe her face. "Do you want water?

Tobin wipes her mouth and shakes her head. She begins to worry about what the girls in the other room must be thinking of her. She knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened and she's kind of glad it happened in the locker room and not on the field during a game. Her nails scrape against her chest as she pulls on her collar and she leaves red marks all over her collarbone that sting a bit.

Kelley turns to Kling, "That's not it." She sticks her head out into the locker room and most of the girls are already making their way towards the bathroom. "Someone go find the coach and someone else go call the paramedics outside. They should be near the scoreboard. Tell them she is having a panic attack and to bring the oxygen tank."

The girls stay still as the sound of Tobin's ragged breathing echos throughout the room. Kelley claps her hands to get their attention again. "Listen here! This stays between us! You got questions, you come to me but if I hear any of you talk about this with anyone else, you're dead to me. Got it?"

A few girls nod their heads.

"What are you waiting for? Coach and paramedics. Go!" Kelley yells and the girls scramble out of the locker room.

Tears begin to stream down Tobin's face as Kelley kneels down beside her. "I..I..I hate this!" Tobin manages to cry out.

Kelley hold on to Tobin's trembling hand to keep her from rubbing her chest raw. "I know. Now try to slow down before you start cramping up or you pass out. You're breathing too fast, try to hold your breath for a few seconds."

Tobin focuses on a blurry Kelley and holds her breath as the pain in her chest becomes unbearable. A few more tears trickle down her face.

*

Christen rushes into the locker room and quickly sits down. Her eyes roam across the whole locker room looking for Tobin as she puts on her shin guards, when she doesn't find the familiar face she leans over Tobin's seat, toward Kelley and asks, "Where's Tobin?"

Kelley glares at one of the freshman who opens her mouth until she closes it and turns her back to Kelley and Christen. Kelley turns back to Christen and whispers, "Why are you late?"

The coach walks in and starts writing on the whiteboard. "Ok. Let's get started."

Christen slips her foot into her shoes. "I lost track of time. I was on the phone with Vero. So where's Tobin?"

"Press! Shut it." The coach's booming voice startles Christen and she keeps her mouth shut until they are out on the field for warm-ups.

Christen can sense Kelley is avoiding her so she decides to warm up with Alex. She forgets about Tobin until they head back to the locker room and she sees her empty chair again. This time Kelley is across the room speaking with the coach so Christen thinks it's best to ask her what's up with her after the game when she can't easily avoid her.

Christen walks with Alex to the middle of the field and they wait for the other team to get in position. She quickly glances back at her teammates then turns back to Alex. "Where's Tobin? She wasn't in the locker room, was she? Did I just miss her?"

Alex bounces from foot to foot as she replies, "I didn't see her when I walked in."

The whistle blows and the game starts. Christen doesn't get another chance to ask anyone else during the game. She is a bit nervous for the first half of the game when the on-field chemistry seems off without Tobin in the mix.

After the first half Christen sends Tobin a text that goes unanswered. She sits down with JJ and tries to find out what's going on.

"Hey Julie, what's up with Kel?" Christen takes a swig of her Gatorade and drops it back on her bag.

"Hmm? Nothing. Why?" JJ pulls her headband down, pushes her hair back, and fixes her ponytail.

"I've been asking everyone if they know where Tobin is and no one knows. I thought for sure her roommate would know but she didn't answer me."

"Oh..." JJ looks down at her nails like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

Christen eyes her and gets a little irritated when she feels like there is something JJ isn't telling her. "Where's Tobin?" Christen crosses her arms over her chest and taps her cleats on the floor. "I know you know something. What aren't you telling me?"

"I can't. I'm sorry. Kelley would kill me. Just ask her again later." JJ quickly gets up and walks away from Christen.

They head back onto the field and Kelley is subbed in for Alex. Christen gets subbed out a few minutes later for Kling as they try to maintain their two point lead. She gets the chance to ask a few of the girls on the bench, but it leaves her feeling uneasy for the rest of the game. Most of them don't know but a few of them just say 'Ask Kelley' and then keep quiet for the rest of the game. They keep their two point lead in the end even after the other team got behind their backline a handful of times but Christen doesn't have it in her to celebrate with her teammates in the locker room because she is waiting for her chance to talk to Kelley privately.

Christen pulls Kelley back into the locker room. "Kelley, are you going to tell me what happened with Tobin? Did you tell everyone not to tell me? Because most of them said they don't know but a few said to ask you. So what's going on? Where's Tobin?"

"Hold on." Kelley waits for the last couple of girls to walk out so they are left alone in the room. "Most of them don't know but a few were here when it happened. I told them not to say anything about it." Kelley replies as she throws her bag over her shoulder.

Christen grips the strap of her bag tightly. "Kelley you're scaring me now. What happened to Tobin?"

"Don't be scared, she's fine." Kelley sighs. "She's back in the apartment resting. She had a panic attack before most of the girls showed up, that why most of them don't know what's going on. The coach and the paramedics came in and they got her breathing normally again then the coach sent her home."

"A panic attack. Since when has she been having panic attacks? Why?" The words come out of Christen's mouth lightening fast as she begins to worry even more.

Kelley sits down on the nearest chair before starting. "She started getting some symptoms in high school but she didn't have a full panic attack until some time in January. She puts so much pressure on herself to get her game to the next level and at some point she was right on track to getting to that next level. She probably hasn't told you but she was on the U17 national team for a bit. She's been going to those camps since high school. When they didn't call her up for the next few camps she started to see her dream of making the senior national team slip through her fingers. It's all she's ever wanted. Now if anyone mentions the USWNT to her, she begins stressing about not having what it takes to be on the team or she begins to think she doesn't have enough time to prove herself to the scouts and it triggers a panic attack."

"I didn't know. I didn't know any of that. U17..." Christen bites the inside of her cheek. Was she not as close to Tobin as she thought she was? "Why didn't she tell me about any of it?"

Kelley shrugs. "Maybe she isn't ready to tell you. Don't take it the wrong way though. I'm sure she still considers you a really close friend. The only reason I know is because I found her curled up on her bedroom floor struggling to breath this past summer. After I found her like that she told me everything."

"She's back at the apartment right?" Christen straightens up and throws her bag over her shoulder.

"Yeah one of the trainers took her." Kelley stands up and starts walking toward the door.

"OK lets go. I want to see her."

They quickly walk toward the apartment, only jogging when crossing the street. Christen takes her phone out and calls Tobin but gets her voicemail. Frustrated and worried, she shoves her phone back in her pocket and hands her bag to Kelley. "I'ma run the rest of the way. She isn't picking up her phone."

"She's probably asleep, they're exhausting, the panic attacks really take a toll on her." Kelley says as she throws Christen's bag over her other shoulder.

"I'll see you there." Christen takes off in a full sprint. She goes all the way to the apartment non-stop. She almost runs into someone's car door as they swing it open in front of her. She reaches the apartment in only a few minutes and slowly opens the front door in case Tobin is napping on the couch. The living room and kitchen are empty so she tiptoes straight to Tobin's room. She knocks on the door and when she doesn't get a response she gradually pushes the door open. 

"Tobin?" Christen calls out softly. She sees Tobin sitting still on her bed in her PJs with her back to the door.

The room is silent except for Tobin's breathing and a faint crinkle of paper that Christen barely registers. She walks in and sits down with Tobin, waiting for her to speak or even acknowledge her. Christen notices the brown paper bag in Tobin's hand then a second later the smell of strong liquor hits her nose. Christen slowly reaches out and takes the bottle away from Tobin then grabs the cap from her other hand.

Tobin doesn't try to stop her, she just turns her head away from the bottle and licks her chapped lips. She avoids eye contact in fear of what the look on Christen's face will be, probably a look of disappointment and she doesn't think she can handle that right now.

Christen screws the cap back on the bottle and sets it down on the floor. She takes a deep breath and looks at Tobin's face. A few unshed tears finally make their way down Tobin's cheeks. A shaky hand comes up to wipe them away and Christen can't help herself, she pulls Tobin into her and crushes her against her chest. She feels Tobin quietly sob into her shoulder.

"It's ok. Let it all out." Christen whispers as she rocks them back and forth. She pats Tobin's messy bed hair down in the back and she wonders if Tobin would let her brush it out.

"I'm s-sor-sorry I mi-missed your fi-first s-start." Tobin stammers as she tries to stop crying so she can properly talk with Christen.

Christen laughs, pulls back to look at Tobin and wipes a few tears away. "I don't care about that. We have three years to play together. Right now I just want to know what's up with you..." Christen bends down, grabs the bottle and shakes it. The liquid sloshes around in the half empty bottle. "And what you think you're doing with this? This isn't going to help. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's going to make things worse."

Tobin falls back onto the bed and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath in and calmly replies, "I know, I know." She takes another deep breath and releases it slowly. "I just... I need to not feel the weight of the world on my shoulders all the damn time." She rest her arm over her torso and nervously taps her fingers on her rib.

Christen turns her body toward Tobin and leans against her outstretched arm causing the mattress to sink in a little from the weight. "You don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders Tobin. I know that it must feel like that to you right now because of everything you've been struggling with-"

"What am I struggling with? What did Kelley tell you?" Tobin leans back on her elbows, not having the energy to sit up again.

"Just that you're worried that you won't get another chance at getting into the national team and that it triggers your panic attacks." Christen quietly answers. "Don't get mad at her. She only told me because I basically cornered her. The rest of the team is completely in the dark." 

Tobin sighs and lays back down. She waits a few seconds before asking, "Is that it? She didn't mention my ex?"

Christen begins to play with the paper bag, twisting it around the neck of the glass bottle. "No. What does this have to do with your ex?"

Tobin wants to be completely honest with Christen about everything from now on, except about the crush, obviously. She figures now is the best time to come clean about her struggles, not just to her close friends but the rest of the team too. Keeping the pain to herself and trying to deal with it on her own didn't work out too well last time. "I found out she was cheating on me with her roommate, whom I meet when I helped her move into the dorms. I found out while I was in camp and as you can tell," Tobin taps the bottle in Christen's hand. "I don't handle some things too well."

"It really hurts my feelings that you run to this..." Christen lifts the bottle. "...when you have me here now. What can this bottle do that I can't?"

Tobin can't stand the look of deep concern on Christen's face that then morphs into sadness. She closes her eyes and softly replies, "Nothing."

"Really because by the weight of it," Christen easily tosses the bottle in the air and lets it fall onto the bed between them. "...I would have thought you would be slurring your words by now.

Tobin opens her eyes and looks up at Christen. "It's an old bottle. I only took a sip before you walked in."

"I still have the token from the batting cages, we can go whenever you need to talk or we can drive around and this time I'll get you your hamburger. Promise me you'll come to me when you're feeling even a little off." Christen pats Tobin thigh.

"I promise." Tobin breathes out.

"Ok. So lets start now. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, for now." Tobin rests her hands under her head. "I'm just afraid. What if I get another panic attack next weekend when we head to USC?  What if it's not just the national team that makes me feel absolutely powerless? What if anything soccer related starts to trigger my panic attacks? I've read about some breathing exercises online but they don't help much, I'm probably doing them wrong. I haven't found anything that stops it before it becomes a full blown panic attack. Skip calms me down a bit but it's not like I can take him with me to the games."

"I know you know that it's all in your head but don't under estimate the power of your brain, Tobin. You train for hours with the soccer ball but you also have to train your brain. You can't skip out on that training. You need to keep your head in the best shape you possibly can to get past those mental hurtles slowing you down right now. Mindset is everything."

"But my body is made for soccer. Have you seen these calves?" Tobin says as she kicks her leg up into the air.

"I'm being serious Tobin." Christen gives Tobin a stern look.

"I know. I just don't know how I'm suppose to do that. How am I going to train this." Tobin taps her temple with her index finger.

"I'm sure we can find a therapist near by that can help you with your anxiety. Hell, I bet you I can talk one of my TAs in the psych building to give you some free advice. For now just know that I'm here for you like you were there for me when I had my own worries about my future. I'm here for you anytime you need to get something off your chest, Ok? Call me at midnight, 2 am, 5 am, anytime really." Christen smiles down at Tobin.

Tobin nods. "Thank you Christen."

Christen grabs the bottle from the bed and shoves it into the pocket of her coat to throw away later. She lays down next to Tobin and looks up at the slow moving ceiling fan for a few seconds before speaking. "You must have really loved this girl if she managed to have this big of an affect on you."

"Yeah, I did. For a hot minute, I thought she was the one for me." Tobin confesses.

"...how do you feel about her now?" Christen turns to look at Tobin.

Tobin slowly turns to her side, takes a deep breath, and rests her head on her arm. "Are you asking if I still love her or if I hate her for what I'm going through right now?"

"Both." Christen turns her body and mirrors Tobin's position. Their breath mixes in the small space between them as Christen's chest rises and falls a little quicker than before.

Tobin lowers her voice as she feels Christen's breath tickle her face. "I don't love her like I used to... but I also don't wish her any harm. She did a shitty thing but it's not her fault that I dealt with it the way I did. I had a great support group in that camp, Amy and Lauren would have been there for me 100% if I had told them about it earlier but I'm the one that choose to numb my pain with alcohol so it's my fault I developed these insecurities."

Christen nervously bites on her bottom lip. "You don't love her like you used to? So does that mean you still kind of love her?"

Tobin turns and lays on her back again as Christen's eyes bore into her waiting for an answer. "Ok, I worded that wrong. I don't dislike her. If I saw her I'd talk to her but I don't think anything will ever make me love her again or want her in my life, even as a friend." 

"Oh." Christen lays back and stares at the ceiling fan again. "Gosh I'm being so nosy right now, aren't I? I didn't mean to push."

Tobin shrugs. "It's ok. I need to get this all off my chest in order to work through it so I'm glad I have you to talk to."

 ~~~~"I'm happy I could help. Now come on. Lets get you out to the living room and order some Chinese takeout. I'm pretty sure there is a Harry Potter marathon on one of Disney's many channels."

Tobin slowly sits up. "We should probably ask Kelley if she wants anything. Did she come with you or did she leave with Hope after the game?"

Christen stands then pulls Tobin up."She walked with me but I left her with my bag halfway here and took off running because you weren't answering my calls. I was really worried and the only way to stop worrying over you was to have you right in front of me. I needed to make sure you were ok."

Tobin allows herself to get pulled in by Christen for one more hug. "Thank you." She slowly tries to pull back and she smiles as Christen arms tighten around her for a few more seconds before letting her go. 

They walk out to the hallway and see the flickering light of the TV against the wall. They didn't hear the sound of the TV as they walked out but as they continue to the living room they see Kelley taking her feet off the couch.

"Everything good?" Kelley asks.

"Yeah. We're getting Chinese takeout and watch a Harry Potter movie." Christen replies and pulls her phone out to call in their order.

Tobin sits down next to Kelley and leans her head against her shoulder as Christen heads to the kitchen to look for the menu in one of the drawers.

"How are you feeling?" Kelley whispers tenderly as she pats Tobin's knee.

"Better." Tobin replies as Christen sits down next to her and stretches her legs over her and Kelley's laps. "Much better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where Did I Go - Jorja Smith  
> Cranes In The Sky - Solange  
> Broke But Not Broken - Artist Vs Poet


	18. Piece Of Cake

Kelley gingerly walks into Tobin's room a little before 7am. The cold September morning causes her to shiver and she wishes she was still under her blankets. Tobin rolls over onto her back then scoots away from the edge of the bed, and lifts up her blankets, inviting Kelley in.

Kelley quickly jumps in and pulls the blanket up to her chin. "I'm sorry." She mumbles. 

"For?" Tobin yawns.

Kelley turns toward Tobin. "I promised you I would help you out when you needed a partner for your morning training but I just got a panicked call from Alex about our project. Some shit happened to her laptop and her half of our presentation is gone so I'm going over to help her fill in the blanks before we have to go in front of the class Monday morning. I don't know how long it will take."

"It's ok Kelley. I can just do something different today." Tobin's baby hairs tickle her cheek and she rubs the side of her face on the pillow to push them away.

Kelley rubs her legs together to warm herself up more, "You won't have to. I got you a replacement just for today."

"Who?"

"I asked Christen. She doesn't have anything going on today so she's more than happy to get out of her dorm." 

"Okay..." Tobin looks around her room. A few books and papers litter the floor along with a tiny pile of dirty clothes in the corner that she has been meaning to wash but hasn't because she has yet to run out of clean clothes. She has time to pick up a bit and throw a few t-shirts to wash before she starts her morning workout.

Kelley sits up and leans against the headboard. "We're going to get some breakfast first."

Tobin throws the blankets off then scoots down to the foot of the bed, "She's coming over right now? I don't even have my workout clothes ready yet. My room is a mess. I left these things to dry out over night because Skip always tries to lick them when he sleeps inside." Some of the canvases look dry so she stacks them and puts them in the closet. She picks up her books and papers then shoves them into an almost empty sock drawer.

"Chill, Toby. We are going OUT to get breakfast... Can I borrow your car so we don't have to get gas station breakfast burritos again? I'm starting to get sick of them." Kelley puts her hands together as she pleads. "Please?"

"Yeah, check the key holder by the front door or the ceramic bowl on the kitchen counter." Tobin takes a breath and opens the drawer with her workout clothes. She moves a couple mismatched items to the side looking for a specific set she had gotten in her last camp. She makes a mental note to wash and fold all her clothes after therapy when she doesn't find what she's looking for.

"I know you like to do your pull ups and other stuff before you go out to train so we'll take our time getting breakfast." Kelley takes her phone out to send Christen a quick text. "Do you want me to bring you anything? Waffles? Toast? Bacon?" Kelley asks.

"Uh, no. I'll just have my smoothie and eat a little more after I come back from the park." Tobin replies as she sets up her pull up bar on the closet's door frame. She pulls down on it a little to make sure its secure.

"Do you have a dog sitter yet? If not then I can watch Skip when you go to work." Kelley gets off the bed and walks to the door.

Tobin walks out of her closet with her sneakers and cleats. "Can you start taking care of him at 2? I'm going to therapy before work."

Kelley nods, "Yup. I'll just tell Alex to come here instead of going to her dorm. I don't think her roommate likes me anyways so.." She shrugs and walks out.

*

The rapid beating of her heart when Christen walks in notifies Tobin that she might have trouble not staring at her all day. Even with a slightly noticeable soccer tan, Christen is killin' it in small workout shorts and loose tank top. Tobin is pretty sure Christen didn't put much thought into her outfit, she just make everything look good. The amount of skin exposed in this outfit makes Tobin feel something she should not be feeling but she tells herself if she managed to make it through Kelley's 18th birthday party, the day she agreed to play chicken with Christen sitting on her shoulders in a cute small bikini, then she can make it through this day too. 

Tobin has thought about that day an embarrassing amount of times, not just the moments at the beach but the quiet moments getting to know Christen a little more and she starts getting lost in the memory of that day once more.

"What?" Christen bends down and grabs the bag once Tobin's gaze makes her feel self conscious, "Do I have something on my shirt?"

Tobin gets snapped out of her daydream, "Hm?" She picks up the ball that rolled out of the open bag.

Christen tries to contain a smile as she notices Tobin's cheeks get a soft pink tint as she tries to look away. She decides to poke a bit of fun at her, "You were practically staring at my boobs for like a full minute. Trust me, they ain't that special."

"I zoned out and I just happened to be staring at you when I did." Tobin quickly replies and hopes the heat she feels on her cheeks isn't a noticeable blush.

Christen discovers that she finds embarrassed Tobin to be quite endearing so she continues, "Mhmm, sure you did." 

"I swear. If anything, I was staring at your birthmark near your shoulder." Tobin inches closer and pokes Christen's birthmark."

"I'm just messing with you Tobin." Christen gives Tobin a smile and places a hand on her shoulder to push her toward the door. "Come on, lets go."

"Ok, just gotta get my sweater."

Christen walks out and waits for Tobin to put on her sweater before they start heading to the park. She takes a drink of her water and shoves it back into the bag.

Tobin is extremely aware of how close Christen is as they walk side by side once they exit the apartment complex and begin to cross the street. The bag provides the perfect buffer between them but she still gets a faint whiff of what Tobin assumes is Christen's lavender scented body wash as a small gust of wind rolls through the empty street.

Christen almost starts skipping as she begins to talk, "So I've read a few autobiographies of professional athletes and quite a few have gone through similar things. I read one, can't remember the name right now, but anyway they talked about working with a sports psychologist and that led me into a whole different rabbit hole. I started reading more about sports psychology, found a few really good articles you should check out." The words come out lightening fast but she doesn't care because it's something she finds so interesting.

Tobin tries not to laugh when Christen stumbles over some words. She just nods and listens before falling behind as she kicks the ball around. "I don't have much time to read things that are not for a class right now."

The bag on Christen's shoulder starts to slip off and she pulls it back up. "The articles are so worth it and they're pretty short. You could read them during lunch or before bed. I'll email a few to you later today."

"Yeah, ok." Tobin says as she pull her hood over her head and continues to play with the ball.

The wind picks up and Christen's curls end up all over her face. She stops walking and tries to pull it all to one side.

Tobin can't help but stare at Christen again as she struggles to keep the bag up on her shoulders and keep her hair from her face at the same time. Once Christen manages to get her hair under control Tobin remembers she hasn't look away the whole time. She continues to walk toward the clearing and begins juggling the ball. The feel of the ball bouncing from foot to foot comforts Tobin as she tries to suppress her crush that is still going strong after a full year. She tires to focus on the ball but it gets away from her when they near her favorite spot in the park. She ends up watching Christen again as she struggles with her windblown hair.

Christen scrunches her face as her fingers get caught in a knot while she puts her hair up into a tight pony tail, "Hopefully this thing doesn't break. It's my last one."

Tobin kicks the ball up into her hands. "Thanks for agreeing to help me get in some extra practice. I don't have much time in the afternoon because of work. Especially today since I go in at 3 and probably won't get out til 9."

Christen takes the water bottle out. "Busy day today?" She asks then squirts some water in her mouth. She turns around and hands Tobin the bottle.

"Yeah, it's a packed schedule for the next couple weeks. Work, school, soccer and therapy. I actually have a therapy session after this." Tobin takes a few large gulps of water and lets the bottle slips through her hand onto the soft grass. She sits down and stretches her legs out.

"How have they been going? Any progress?" Christen sets the bag down then starts taking out the small cones and turns the bag upside down to take out all the soccer balls.

"Mmhm." Tobin nods. "I..uh.. I actually got a call yesterday from the U23 coach. He said they are inviting a select few from the youth teams to train with all the senior team staff in their facility in LA. I guess he's seen me play in high school the last year he was a recruiter and wants to see what progress I've made since I entered the system. Apparently my old coach told him I had downgraded since then but he wants to evaluate me himself." She shrugs like it isn't a big deal that she finally has her foot in the door again but she doesn't want to get her hopes up only to have them shattered when they send her home early for not being good enough.

"That's great news!" Christen smiles.

Tobin ties and unties her shoes just to have something to do and look at while she continues, "I managed to get through the whole phone call without getting a full panic attack. My heart raced like crazy the whole time though."

"I bet. My heart is racing just hearing about it." Christen puts her hand on her chest and feels the beat of her heart.

Tobin stands up and easily balances the ball on her foot. "The call was so out of the blue but I handled it pretty well. I didn't get a panic attack until after I hung up."

Christen stops setting up the cones and places her hands on her hips. She stares Tobin down, who won't even look her way. "I literally spent all day across the hall from you with Kelley. Why didn't you mention it then? We could have tried to make it less painful for you or at least helped you through."

"I wanted to try dealing with it alone. See how far I've come and how much farther I have to go." Tobin drops the ball onto her thighs and starts juggling a few feet away from Christen. "I haven't even told Lauren and Amy. I'll probably call them once they put the list up on the official site. Don't want to jinx anything. Still have way over a month until the camp in mid November so I might just not tell them and sneak up on them once I get there. I'm sure they got the invite too."

Christen feels warmth in her chest when she realizes that she is probably the first person Tobin has told. She grabs the ball before it comes down on Tobin's thigh again, "Wait, it's in mid November? So you're going to miss some games during the College Cup?"

"No, just one game, unless the coach decides to bench me for one game after I come back to give me more time to rest my legs. The camp isn't for a tournament or a friendly, it's just to check out the upcoming talent so they have players to replace the ones that might retire after this cycle is over. I don't think the coach will bench me but who knows?" Tobin says as she starts playing with one of the balls Christen had taken out of the bag a minute ago. She begins wondering why she more often seems to voice her worries when she is with Christen when she hadn't even been able to write down the date the camp starts without her hand shaking.

"I doubt he would bench you if you're not injured. You're too important to the midfield. I'm sure if he could he would charter a private jet to bring you to that one game you're going to miss. You're that important to this squad."

"Collegiate level soccer, I'm good but-"

"But nothing Tobin. Don't sell yourself short. The U23 coach obviously saw something special in you when you were still in high school otherwise he would have left you off the list after he spoke to your U17 coach. " Christen smiles sweetly at Tobin, "You're the best one on our squad and you'll shine on the national team when you get there. When, not if. Ok? Have a bit more faith in yourself."

Tobin chews on her bottom lip and nods. It's exactly the words she needed to hear to let the excitement of going to camp once more fill her with absolute joy.

They spend the first hour doing basic drills together. They both work up a sweat within minutes and Tobin takes off her sweater.

Christen's baby hairs stick to her sweaty skin and she tries to smooth them back with her hands once more. "Ok so what's next?"

"I've had some trouble with my corner kicks, can we set the cones up for that?" Tobin timidly asks. She doesn't like to admit that her services into the box have been a bit crappy for a while now.

"Mmm maybe we can use the metal volleyball poles over there." Christen points to the poles sticking out of the grass a few feet away. "They can be the goal and we'll set up cones on both sides. It might be a little bigger by a few feet but that's ok, it still works."

Christen stacks up the cones and throws their things into the bag. Tobin messes around for a bit before she kicks the balls, one by one toward the poles, each ball she kicks hits the tip of the hollow pole making it vibrate loudly. 

"Does this look good to you?" Christen sets a cone down. "Is this the right length away from the post?"

Tobin steps next to the pole and starts walking toward Christen. Her mouth moves as she counts her steps. She stops a few steps away from Christen and hits the ground with the tip of her shoe. "Right here."

Christen picks up the cone and moves it. "How do you know for sure?" Christen asks.

Tobin takes a step back then begins making her way to the other pole and Christen walks beside her. "My mom didn't like it when I left my soccer equipment in the backyard so I had to set it up every time I wanted to practice." Tobin stops and points to the ground. "Here."

Christen runs to a ball and kicks it over to Tobin. "Ok. Let's start." She waits for Tobin to set the ball down and gets ready to receive the ball in 'the box'.

Tobin takes a deep breath in, runs toward the ball and kicks it. "FUCK!" She yells in frustration as it goes high up and over the poles. 

Christen grabs another ball and kicks it over to Tobin. "Don't beat yourself up. Let's go again."

Tobin takes a deep breath and tries again. This time the ball curves and lands out of bounds before it gets anywhere near Christen. She feels the familiar sting of fresh tears and turns away to discreetly wipe them away. To her, tears are better than the strong feeling of worry and fear that comes before a panic attack. To her, tears are now a mild reaction to these failures. She'd rather ball her eyes out than experience the pain in her chest and have her muscles cramp up with every quick ragged breath.

"Tobin, are you ok?" 

Christen's soft voice cuts through Tobin's thoughts and she takes a deep breath. "Um, yeah. Let's get back to work."

"Do you want to take a break?" Christen lays a hand on Tobin's shoulder and turns her around. "We can take a break if you need it. Let's sit on the grass and watch the clouds go by ...or we can do some trick shots like you were doing before I set the cones up. You make it look so effortless."

"You're just trying to make me feel better for being major shit at corner kicks."

"No really. How do you hit the pole with such accuracy? I probably would have missed it a couple times." Christen squeezes Tobin's shoulder.

"I don't know. I wasn't really thinking about trying to hit it." Tobin shrugs. "That was a piece of cake compared to the trick shots me and my brother would try to do with our basketball hoop back home."

"Piece of cake..." Christen looks over to the poles. "Let's try a corner kick one more time. You're in your head too much and that's probably what is messing you up. This time don't think about it too hard, just like when you hit the pole, let your body do what it needs to do. That 'piece of cake' trick shot you did is way harder than a corner kick Tobin. Come on, one more." Christen runs back to her spot once Tobin nods.

"Piece of cake. Piece. Of. Cake" Tobin says under her breath. She clears her mind, thinks back to playing around with her brother in their driveway, she takes the shot and Christen heads it between the poles.

"GOAL!"

Christen runs around with her arms stretched out while Tobin stands still, shocked and paralyzed in the corner. She thinks it's the most perfect corner kick she has ever taken and she wishes she had recorded it. Christen run toward Tobin after her little goal celebration and jumps on her fully expecting Tobin to brace herself to catch Christen but instead Tobin reacts too slowly and they fall to the ground. 

"Sorry dude, I thought you were gona catch me." Christen laughs as she plants her hands on either side of Tobin's head on the grass to hold herself up.

"You were right." Tobin looks up at Christen and smiles. "I just had to get out of my head and let my body do what it does. That corner kick was a piece of cake..."  Her mind going to places it shouldn't when Christen shifts and straddles her. She feels light as a feather when Christen smiles back but comes crashing down when music tears Christen's gaze from her own and breaks what she thinks might have been life changing moment, for her at least.

Without speaking, Christen quickly stands up and pulls Tobin up with her before taking long strides to the bag to get her phone. "Hello?"

Tobin searches for a ball and goes back to playing with it. While juggling the ball, she chastises herself for thinking about Christen in that way again. She tries not to pay attention to Christen's conversation but it becomes a little difficult once Christen starts pacing and her voice gets louder.

"We've talked about this so many times already." Christen grabs the hem of her shirt and wipes the sweat from her face. "Si, estoy sola con ella. Solamente estamos practicando....Perdon, se me olvido.....Pero te iba a llamar despues-...Ya se que prometi hablar contigo hoy pero-"

Tobin recognizes the words 'her' 'practicing' and 'promise' but she long ago gave up on trying to learn Spanish. Most of what she had learned she forgot so she isn't quite sure she knows what Christen is talking about but it does not sound like a fun conversation. 

The only person she can think of that must be on the other end of that call is Christen's girlfriend so Tobin looks for something else to keep her distracted. She turns her back to Christen and sees a large group of kids pass by her. She watches as the only girl in the group weaves her way in and out of the group of boys with a tattered soccer ball at her feet as they make their way to another flat clearing, away from the small pond and row of trees. For the most part, the boys don't break stride as they walk until the smallest boy tries to take the ball away but the girl flicks it over his head and runs off with it. Tobin lets out a small laugh as the rest of the boys shake their heads and say something to the kid, they pat his head and run after the girl.

Tobin smiles as she recalls the group of neighborhood boys she and her brother played with when she was younger. Much like the girl in the park, she was always the one to end up with the ball at her feet before and after a game. She sits down on the grass and absentmindedly pulls a few blades of grass and she bitterly remembers that a few boys envied her when she was picked before them every time they split off into teams and wouldn't speak to her for days after.

In that second she is struck with the realization that she's dealt with anxiety about playing soccer before but at that moment in her life she decided to walk away from that situation. She stopped playing with the boys so she wouldn't have to deal with their fragile egos but this anxiety was different. This time her anxiety isn't about not wanting to cause drama, it's about her own opinion on her ability to play at a higher level after being away from it for so long. This anxiety is all fear but she is more willing than ever to fight through it. This time, she won't walk away from soccer. Walking away from it completely has never been an option for her.

The pressure in her chest returns,she slowly stands up and searches for Christen. Once Tobin sees she's still on the phone she tries to calm herself with the breathing exercises her therapist showed her last week. Moments later she sees Christen toss her phone on the ground near the bag. The pressure lightens up a bit when she sees Christen begin to walk toward her.

Christen sighs and tightens her ponytail, "You want to try the other corner now?"

Tobin takes a deep breath. "Can we not talk about soccer right now? Distract me with something other than soccer."

"Uh.." Christen seems lost until Tobin roughly pulls the collar of her shirt down. She see's her chest rising and falling quicker than it should and she understands the situation then. "Fuck. Um. Piece of cake...what's your favorite kind?" Christen grabs Tobin's shoulders.

Tobin almost laughs at the question. "Really? Cake? That's how you want to distract me?" The tightness in her chest begins to make it hard for her to keep talking.

Christen panics, "Do you want me to slap you? Hug you? What do I do?"

"Just talk to me," Tobin lifts her hand to show Christen and tries to slow her breathing. "We can try to backtrack this as long as my hands don't start shaking or cramping up. I've done it once before. Shouldn't be too hard, right?" 

Christen grabs Tobin's hand with both of hers and rubs them as if Tobin had just told her they were cold. "Ok, Uh. I suck at this."

Tobin focuses on Christen's face as Christen licks her top lip. She moves her tongue from side to side and it breaks through Tobin's anxious thoughts because now she's worried she might look like a love sick puppy with her eyes glued to Christen face.

"Damn it! I should have started with the book about anxiety and panic disorders before all the sports psychology ones. That one would have been way more helpful right now." Christen's grip tightens on Tobin's hands.

Tobin looks down at the soft hands holding hers then tries to inhale and exhale when Christen does. Occasionally  she holds her breath for a few seconds when she feels they aren't in sync. When she feels the pain ease away a bit she answers Christen's question, "Funfetti. Maybe a strawberry cake."

"What?" Christen looks into Tobin's eyes then stares at their hands, no longer feeling Tobin's tremble but she doesn't want to let go for some reason. Maybe in fear that the panic attack didn't actually subdue and Tobin is just putting on a strong front so Christen doesn't feel bad.

Tobin stares back and this time she doesn't mind getting lost in beautiful green eyes. She feels she is allowed this little pleasure after almost getting another panic attack. "If I could have a piece of cake right now, it would be that funfetti cake that comes in a box and you just add water, oil, and eggs. But if you want to go fancy... I guess a strawberries and cream cake is really good too, not as fun as Funfetti though." 

"So... you're good?" Christen lightly squeezes Tobin's hands.

Tobin slowly nods, "Crisis averted for now, I think." She pulls her hands back and she thinks she feels Christen's hands briefly hold on a little tighter before letting go but she figures her brain is making her think things that will give her something small to smile about.

"So do we go back to practicing or.." Christen looks back at their equipment.

Tobin shakes her head as she picks up the ball, walks over to their bag and picks up Christen's phone. "Let's just play around for a bit."

Christen takes the ball away from Tobin and start juggling. She kicks the ball toward the pole, aiming for the tip but misses. "Fuck." She says under her breath.

Tobin puts Christen's phone back on top of the bag and picks up another ball, "Ok, come on you're a striker. You gotta have better aim than that."

Christen looks at the pole then back at Tobin. "It's a piece of cake for _you_."

"It is a piece of cake." Tobin sets a ball at her feet and kicks it, the ball goes straight toward the tip of the pole. Tobin positions 4 balls in a row to kick them one by one. "Piece of C-A-K-E." She kicks a ball as she spells cake and they all hit the pole. She turns around to look at an annoyed Christen with her arms crossed on her chest and Tobin gives her the biggest smile.

"Yeah keep rubbing it in my face that you're spectacular with trick shots." 

Tobin quickly gathers all the balls and puts them in a row in front of Christen. "Just try it out. I promise not to laugh."

"Ok, fine. Let's get this over with." Christen takes a deep breath and pushes her stray hairs away from her face.

The first ball curves toward the pole but misses it by an inch. The next two don't get enough height and fall to the ground before they reach the pole.

"Two more." Christen takes a step back then kicks the ball and it hits the middle of the pole. "Fuck! I got this." She kicks the fifth ball and it curves too early missing the pole by a few inches this time." You see? It's not a piece of cake."

Tobin picks up another ball. "One more. You were so close the last two times."

"Fine." Christen swears in spanish under her breath then kicks the ball. 

The loud vibrating of the pole is like music to her ears.

"You did it!"

"That was awesome."

Tobin sits down on the grass and begins to untie her cleats. Christen sits down next to her and starts to do the same.

"Hey, so do you mind if I just vent to you about Vero real quick?"

Tobin slips on her sneakers, "Uh...I don't know. I don't really know her that well and I get the feeling she still doesn't like me."

"Ok, that's fine." Christen slips on her shoes and quickly ties them. She stands up and begins to kick around a ball.

Tobin pats the ground next to her, "I promised I would be there for you when you start going through your midlife crisis or whatever so come sit and vent. It's none of my business but I'll sit here and listen."

Christen sits down and begins, "It was another stupid argument about our schedules," Christen sighs, "and she was right this time."

Tobin keeps her eyes on the kids playing soccer a few yards in front of them and asks, "Your class schedules?"

"I've been really focused on my studies lately and I haven't made much time for her. This is the first time this month that I have nothing going on and I told her I would call her today or skype with her but I completely forgot about it. If she hadn't called me I would have gone most of the day just texting her here and there like I usually do. She probably would have been even more pissed off the next day if I had bailed on her the whole day and rightly so. I told her I would call her after this though so she probably won't be super annoyed with me."

Tobin begins to regret letting Kelley talk her into practicing with Christen instead of alone. "Sorry. I didn't mean to take up your time."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is all on me. She's my girlfriend and I'm the one who keeps forgetting about our skype dates. I got really excited when Kelley asked me to train with you today that I basically threw everything else out the window." Christen pats Tobin's knee. "Honestly I had a lot of fun practicing with you and I wouldn't mind doing it another time that I'm free."

Tobin stands up and starts picking up the balls and cones. "Well, practice is over for now. Go talk to your girlfriend."

Christen slowly gets up. "Are you sure? We barely practiced the corner kicks."

"We just had a game a couple days ago and I still have time to practice before the next. Don't worry about me. Besides, this gives me a chance to take a little nap before therapy and work." 

"Alright." Christen takes the cones from Tobin and puts them back in the bag. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Tobin says as she walks back to Christen with the rest of the cones.

"What triggered it this time? You were just sitting down on the grass and the next minute you're trying to keep it at bay." 

"Oh." Tobin kicks up a ball to her hands.

"Sorry. Should I not be asking about it so soon?" Christen opens the bag so Tobin can put the ball in.

Tobin slowly walks away toward another ball as she replies, "No it's fine. Um, I was just thinking about the last time I sort of quit soccer."

"You quit soccer before? Didn't you tell me you've played since you were 5?"

Tobin begins to kick the balls over to Christen. "I quit playing with the boys in my neighborhood because they would be a little too dramatic when I was chosen before them. I quit because it wasn't fun playing with them anymore. That's when I started practicing alone in my backyard. They still wanted to play with my younger brother because he wasn't much of a threat."

"Seems like everyday I'm learning something new about you." Christen puts the last ball in the bag and closes it up. "Have you ever thought of quitting it completely?"

"No, never. I don't think I could ever quit this. I love it too much, even if it causes me some pain right now, I know I will work through it and no longer have to fight through the nerves." Tobin puts on her sweater and they start heading back to the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Save It All - Marie Hines  
> Running Up That Hill - Placebo  
> I'm Good - The Mowgli's


	19. Reset

Christen feels the wind pick up a bit, she looks over at Tobin and wonders if it would be out of line to ask her to call in sick so they can hang out again after her therapy session. The feeling of the dark cloud looming over head makes her want to be around someone who makes that cloud disappear and lately that person has been Tobin. Usually Kelley would be her go-to but with her schedule the way it has been for the past month, it has been easier for Christen to ask Tobin who almost always agrees to meet up no matter the time.

"Do you want me to drop you off?" Tobin asks as they cross the street toward the apartment.

"Hmm?" Christen feels her phone vibrate in her hand and almost drops it as she quickly flips it over to push the home button. No messages or missed calls. Phantom notification she guesses. She hands Tobin the bag and her gaze lingers on her face for a few seconds as Tobin's loose baby hairs get blown across her face. She stares at her phone like she's waiting for it to light up with a call or a text, anything that she might interpret as a sign of what she should do next but the reflective black screen gives her no clues, "Uh no thanks, I'm going to walk back to the dorms."

"Alright." Tobin grabs the bag as she pushes her hair back then opens up the side zipper to take out her keys. "I can't wait for you to try out Fuki Sushi. It's pretty awesome. I've only been there a few times since I went there with Kling last year when we were trying out the restaurants on that side of town. I've been trying to get Kelley to go with me but she's a bit more picky with where she eats..." Tobin notices Christen's far away stare focused on her black screen. "Christen?... We're still meeting up with JJ and Kling for lunch tomorrow right?"

Christen nods, "Mhmm, can't wait. See ya later." She lazily waves her hand as she starts heading back to the dorms.

"Wait. It's getting a bit cold. Take one of my jackets." Tobin opens the door wide and drops the bag on the floor. "I'd give you this one but I sweated all over it."

"It's fine Tobin."

Tobin looks around the apartment and hears low music coming from Kelley's room. "Kel! I'm back."

"I don't need a jacket-"

Tobin pulls Christen in and closes the the door. "Won't take long." She rushes to her room and comes back out with a burgundy coat. She holds it up for Christen then waits for her to turn around and slip her arms in.

Christen smiles, "Thanks. I'll bring it back tomorrow." She checks her phone one more time before she shoves it in the pocket.

"Ok," Tobin opens the door, "See ya tomorrow."

"Bye." Christen says as she steps out.

The cool breezy hits Christen's back as soon as she leaves the apartment complex and she zips up the jacket as a shiver runs through her spine. Christen feels like she just got to the apartment but she knows she's been with Tobin for a few hours already.

Without really thinking about it she pulls the jacket closer and breathes it in. It has a sweet fruity scent she presumes comes from a body wash since she also gets a faint smell of a nice cologne. She breathes it in one more time before crossing the street as she tries to figure out what type of berry scent it is. It smelled like strawberry but also like raspberry.

She lets out a soft sigh after she deeply breathes in the scent for a third time and she slows down. Her heart beats fast as she lets go of the jacket and she drops her hand down to her side. She eyes her surroundings and hopes no one saw her and thought she's being weird. It would be less creepier if she just asked Tobin what body wash she uses but probably won't since she isn't completely sure why Tobin's shower routine seems to matter to her right now when it never has before.

Christen pulls her phone out again and she's a little nervous as she pushes the button and is faced with the same empty screen once more. Although she has had a pretty terrific day, the situation with Vero has her feel something heavy weighing down on her chest but she can't quite figure out what it is.

The dark cloud of insecurities about their relationship has only appeared a few times but they always managed to talk it out. This time Vero doesn't seem to want to talk it out but Christen wants nothing more than to deal with it now before it turns into a crazy storm she can't fight her way through. Christen takes a deep breath and dials Vero's number. Although she has been dreading a long discussion about the state of  their relationship, she knows it's been a while since they've check in and it's necessary that they do it asap.

"Come on baby, pick up." She whispers as she picks up her pace.

_"No estoy disponible en este momento. Deja tu nombre y número y te marcaré después."_

All Christen really wants to do is apologize for being rude and hanging up on her. They can postpone the relationship talk for another day, maybe a day when they are both in the same place. She tries facetime but again gets nothing. She tells herself that Vero has the right to be a little angry at her but that doesn't stop her from being a little annoyed at being ignored. She tells herself not to overthink the deafening radio silence and tries to enjoy her short walk back.

Christen enters her dorm and knocks over some water bottles as she kicks her shoes off. Her roommate Jane turns over in bed and it snaps her out of her daze.

"What time is it?" Jane asks groggily as she pushes the blankets off her face.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." Christen sits down on her bed and intertwines her hands on the back of her head as she falls back onto her pillow.

Jane squints at the digital clock on the nightstand and sits up. "It's ok. I have to meet up with my study group in about fifteen minutes anyway." She gets out of bed and takes her coat out of the closet. "So how's Tobin? You were training with her, right?"

"Yeah. She's doing a lot better, occasionally on the verge of panic attacks but she's managing them pretty well now that she's going to therapy." Christen gets up and heads to her laptop on her desk. "I told her I would send her a few articles to read so I better do that before I forget."

"I'm glad she's doing better. I don't know why she's so worried. She's the best player on your team." Jane says as she shoves a thick textbook into her bag. "No offense Chris."

Christen sighs, "I know, she is pretty great." She emails a few links to Tobin then drags her finger across the touchpad and lets the cursor hover over the Skype icon for a few seconds before clicking on it.

"Skype date with Vero?" 

"Maybe...," Christen closes her laptop once she see's Vero is offline. "Actually, I'm just going to take a shower and read for a few hours."

"What class are you taking?" Jane picks up a book from Christen's desk. "I'd like to avoid it if possible."

Christen lays a hand on the stack of books on her desk. "These aren't for a class."

"So you're reading these for fun?" Jane asks as she flips through the pages of the book she picked up. "No pictures..."

Christen shrugs. "I started reading some to get a better grasp of what Tobin is going through and then I found a few mention sports psychology so I started looking into that. That's what most of these are about."

"Oh right, you're majoring in psychology aren't you?"

Christen nods. "And communications but right now I'm really leaning into psych." She walks over to her dresser and starts grabbing her things to head to the showers.

Jane puts the book down, follows Christen out of their dorm room, "Nice jacket by the way."

"Oh, It's-"

"Tobin's? I know. I saw her wearing it a couple days ago as she was skateboarding to class." Jane feels the material of the jacket as they walk down the hall. "It's a gorgeous color, suits both of you pretty well."

"Thanks. What time are you coming back?" Christen asks as she stops in front of the door to the showers.

Jane shrugs, "I don't know, in two or three hours. Why?"

"Can you bring me a PB&J sandwich from the cafeteria on your way back? I'll pay you later."

"Yeah, sure. See ya."

Christen takes a long hot shower and goes back to her dorm to read. A few hours pass and she can't get rid of the odd feeling in her chest. She tries calling Vero again but gets her voicemail again and it's like that just adds weight onto her chest. She calls once more just to hear her voice the decides to sends a text.

She types out a short text. _Call me, I miss you._ It sounds a little too desperate so she erases it.

CP: Can we talk tomorrow? Or later tonight?

They had never gone to bed without at least sending each other a few texts before bed. Even when they were a whole ocean apart, they managed to send 'Good morning'/ 'Good Night' texts and this just made Christen feel sick to her stomach.

She turns off her alarm for her morning class and decides to get ready for bed early. She pulls out the familiar small red tshirt from the back of her drawer and brings it up to her face. Vero's scent barely noticeable now but the feel of the fabric on her bare skin is soothing enough to comfort her as she sends one more text that she suspects will also go unanswered.

CP: Goodnight

Seconds later her phone lights up. She smiles as she reads the name of the sender then it grows wider as she reads the message.

TH: Thnx for the articles. Just finished reading the first one.

* * *

The moonlight is still shining through the dorm room window when Christen wakes up almost ten hours later. The plan when she turned off her alarm last night was to take a mental health day, skip her classes, and sleep in or at least stay in bed until noon. She knows if she could fall back asleep for a few more hours she would but she stretches and scrolls mindlessly through a few different apps. After a couple hours of laying in bed, she figures it's an ok time to go out for an early run. What better way to start a new day than to clear her head and watch the sun come up?

Two hours later, when her thoughts are still jumbled,she sends Tobin a text asking her for a ride to the grocery store. Baking always helped her clear her mind and even though she said she wouldn't bake that often, she really needs it today so when Tobin texts back she can't help but smile and feel 10 times better than before.

TH: You're going to make some food for me and Kel?

TH:Don't you have class in like 20 mins?

CP: Funfetti. And I'm going to do some REAL baking. How do double fudge brownies from scratch sound to you?

TH: Like the best thing in the world! Perfect timing, I have to get some groceries too.

CP: I'm also going to need your oven.

TH: I'll text you when I'm outside.

Christen quickly takes a shower, changes into baggy faded jeans and puts on her school sweater over Vero's red shirt. She doesn't mind having to pull it down every few minutes when it rises up. She is barely putting on her shoes when she gets a text from Tobin. She grabs Tobin's jacket and almost forgets to remove the towel from her head before she runs out of her dorm. When she reaches Tobin's car her hair is still dripping a bit and she pulls it to one side.

"I went out for a pretty long run this morning and I didn't have time to blow dry my hair so sorry if I leave wet spots on your seat." Christen says as she hands Tobin the jacket.

Tobin throws it to the back seat. "I could have waited here if you needed more time to get ready." She grabs a curl and wraps it around her index finger. "I kind of like it like this though. It looks cute when it's down and super curly."

Tobin pulls the curl and is entranced as she watches it bounce back. She sees the pink tint on Christen's cheeks and clears her throat. "You have nice hair."

"Thanks," Christen smiles as she places her hair clip on the hairtie around her wrist, "Wait til it's completely dry. I didn't have much time to go through my whole routine either so it doesn't have much product on it right now. I'll be trying to tame a little fro in a bit.  Just wait til you see it and then tell me if you still find it cute."

"So um.. you didn't answer my other text. You have a class right now don't you?"

Christen sighs, "I'm not in the mood for class. I'm in a 'baking delicious treats' mood so drive Tobin."

"Yes, ma'am!" Tobin turns to Christen before turning the key. "Seatbelt."

Christen is thankful that she doesn't ever have to force a conversation with Tobin and they slip into a comfortable silence once Tobin figures out Christen isn't in the mood to talk. Tobin quietly sings along to a song as they enter the parking lot. 

"Can you grab a cart?" Christen asks Tobin as soon as they step into the store.

Tobin pushes the cart to the side as more people walk in behind them. "Alright so what do you need?"

"Hmm?" Christen slips her phone back into her pocket.

Although she is trying to keep her mind away from what is bothering her, she can't help but check if Vero is willing to speak with her now. She is almost ready to call the whole thing off because she knows Vero wouldn't like the fact that she is spending another day alone with Tobin.

She didn't really understand the reason Vero felt so threatened by Tobin. Sure, Tobin is sweet, super hot and always seems to cheer her up when she's feeling down but Christen has never given much thought into dating anyone but Vero. If she didn't really have the need to bake she would be back in her dorm trying to contact Vero until she answered but baking is always the better option when the alternative option is bombarding your girlfriend with texts.

"You seem a little distracted so let's go get my things first." Tobin starts pushing the cart to the fresh produce section and Christen follows a step behind.

Christen quietly watches Tobin grab things and put them in the cart. She found it kind of endearing when Tobin would occasionally chew on her bottom lip as she checked her shopping list on her phone or when did some calculations in her head after she weighed the fruit and vegetables. 

"Ok now to the cereal isle. Kelley needs her coco-puffs then we can grab whatever you need before I get the refrigerated stuff. Sound like a plan?" Tobin asks as she throws another bag of spinach in the cart.

"Do you really need this much spinach for the whole week?" Christen asks as she counts the bags in the cart.

Tobin nods. "Yeah, some are for my morning smoothies. Abs are made in the kitchen after all. And it's easier to get Kelley to eat food with a bit of spinach than to make her eat a salad." She starts heading to the cereal isle. "So what do you need to get? Do you have a list?"

Christen pulls out a paper from her pocket and hands it to Tobin.

"Ok" Tobin stops the cart then scans through the list and points to a few things. "We have this, this, and this at the apartment."  She points to the paper. "This. The butter. I'm not sure about that so get some just in case." She hands Christen the list back.

"Ok." Christen shoves the paper back in her pocket and quietly follows Tobin through the isles. She is so lost in thought that she almost bumps into her in front of the wall of sugary cereal.

"We should do this more often. It's way easier grocery shopping with you than with Kelley," Tobin pauses then explains. "She likes to fill the cart with junk food and she always comes up with horrible food puns." Tobin grabs two boxes of Coco-Puffs. "You're super quiet, like not even a peep."

Christen gives Tobin a small smile and says, "Peep."

"Chris, what's wrong? Anything I can help with?"

"No. Just have a bit on my mind. I just want to bake. Come on. Let's get your funfetti cake box and the stuff for the brownies. I think it's all in the next isle." Christen takes the cart and Tobin follows.

Tobin walks past Christen, "The cake boxes are over here."

Christen stops in front a few shelves with flour bags and bends down to look at the bottom row. "Grab it for me. I'm looking for a specific flour brand."

Tobin makes her way through the isle, grabs the box and walks back to Christen, "So when did you first start baking?"

"Uh." Christen reaches up to the top row and grabs a small bottle of vanilla extract. "Well my love for baking started when I was 9, almost 10 and my grandma bought me an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas."

"How long did you use it for before you started making things in a real oven?" Tobin asks as she puts the box in the cart. She pushes it along as Christen looks for the next thing on her list.

"In middle school I started making cupcakes using the store bought cake mixes. Honestly I just liked decorating them at first. I didn't start baking from scratch until after my grandma asked me to help her make the pies for Thanksgiving and Christmas." Christen stops and scans the shelves for a few seconds before grabbing a small tub of frosting. "The time spent in the kitchen with her going through all the steps has become my favorite part of the holidays. The whole house can get a bit chaotic during the holidays but the kitchen is our sanctuary from all the noise and crazy relatives."

"Can you make us a pie for a game night?" Tobin asks as they turn to the next isle. She stops and grabs 2 boxes of pasta.

Christen takes over the cart and tries to keep all her things in one corner. "Maybe once or twice. When is the next game night?" 

"I don't know yet. Kling has been trying to get a game against the swim team girls set up for a couple months now and I'm not sure if they will want to do it this month or the next. I think Kling just wants to set it up because she is still a little bitter they lost to them in May." Tobin says as she walks ahead of Christen to grab a jar of spaghetti sauce.

"You guys played against the swim team?"

"Yeah, Kling's friend Ariel is on the swim team and she let Kel throw my birthday party at her place so she was with us keeping me in the dark about the surprise while most of the team was at her place decorating. Her teammates dropped by the park and asked to play and they split into two groups, swim team vs soccer team. The swim team won the first round and got an invite to the party."

"What would have happened if you girls had won?" Christen rounds the next corner and pauses as she looks at a small display of donuts. She grabs a bag of powdered donuts and throws it into the corner of the cart with the rest of her things.

"I think Kel said the other team would have had to cheer us on at one of our home games this year. I don't know, I was already on my way to the apartment to make the food when that all happened." Tobin holds on the the front of the cart and steers Christen toward the freezers. 

They grab the rest of the things they need and a few things they don't, like a box of popsicles, then head to the front. While they wait in line Christen spends a few minutes trying to talk Tobin out of paying for everything in the cart but quickly caves.

Tobin grabs the frosting out of the bag and tries to discretely open it as they walk to her car.

Christen slows down as a car begins to back up a few feet in front of them and she looks back to Tobin. "Really Tobin?"

Tobin stares back at Christen as she proceeds to open the frosting and sticks two fingers in, "Really," Then she begins to lick the frosting from her fingers.

"Gimme that." Christen takes the frosting from her and gets a bit of frosting on her pinky before putting the lid back on. "No more. I need it for the cake."

Tobin shrugs, "I got what I wanted."

They are almost done putting all the bags in the back when Christen's stomach growls.

"Are you hungry?" Tobin stops and looks at Christen.

Christen admits, "I forgot to eat breakfast this morning." 

"Let's go get you some breakfast then!" Tobin starts grabbing multiple bags from the cart.

"I'm ok," Christen searches through the remaining bags in the cart and pulls out the powdered donuts. "I got these."

Tobin shakes her head, "Not good enough."

Christen puts the last bag in the car and begins to push the cart to its designated area, "What about all the food? We can't leave it in here while we eat breakfast. Who wants to come back to melted popsicles?"

"Ok, you're right," Tobin closes the trunk and heads to the driver's seat. She waits for Christen to be seated before she continues, "Starbucks drive-thru then."

*

Tobin shoves the rest of her breakfast sandwich into her mouth as she parks. She jumps out to unlock the front door, and leaves her half empty coffee cup on the table before heading out to get the bags.

Christen walks in with a few bags in one hand and her coffee in the other. She leave the bags on the counter and downs the rest of her coffee. She hopes the extra shot will help her stay awake until after lunch

"I'll put the food away after I get the last couple bags." Tobin says as she leaves the grocery bags on the dining table.

"I need to preheat the oven to make the brownies. I'll make your cake last because that has less steps to go through and will take less time to make."

"I don't care. Treats are treats and I can't wait to eat them both."

"I know you can't wait." Christen laughs, "Since you already stuck your finger in the frosting, can you put it in the fridge first?" Just getting lost in the process of making something is enough to make Christen feel like she is back to her bubbly self.

Christen tries to figure out the strange oven to preheat it while Tobin quickly puts the food away. She pulls out the ingredients and sets them on the counter. She can't help but think about Vero as she sets the baking pans they bought on top of the stove. She checks her phone again but she shoves it back in her pocket when Tobin comes out of the hallway with her laptop and a notebook.

"Do you mind if I study out here? Or do you need privacy to work your magic?" Tobin asks as she holds up her laptop and notebook.

Christen bends down to take a large mixing bowl out from a bottom cabinet. "It's your apartment."

"That wasn't the question." Tobin replies and waits.

"I don't mind. Just don't make fun of me if I start singing to myself."

"If I do it will only be payback for you laughing at me that one time."

"It was a good song. I have it on my phone now too." Christen grabs the whisk and mimics Tobin. "Wrapped in your regret. What a waste of blood and sweat. Oh!" She smiles at Tobin.

"Ha ha." Tobin sits down at the table and opens up her laptop.

"There was a dance too." Christen begins to dance toward Tobin.

Tobin laughs. "Ok I get it, I'm fun to tease. Now start baking so I can eat some brownies before Kelley gets home."

Christen yawns as she waits for the caffeine to kick in, "Can I borrow your Bluetooth speaker." She thinks maybe a little upbeat music will help her stay awake.

Tobin points to the top of the fridge. "It's up there. Can you reach it?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Christen connects her phone and puts her music on shuffle. She pulls a bit of her hair back and clips it to keep it away from her face. A few baby hairs around her edges can't be pulled back so she tries to comb them back with her fingers.

Tobin bobs her head to the music as she studies. A few songs in spanish play, Christen hums most of them but occasionally sings the choruses once she is done and she begins to clean up a bit.

Christen puts the timer on her phone, changes the song to something more light, and stands in front of the sink to start washing the dishes.

"Cherry, raspberry, or strawberry?" Tobin asks as she gets up to get a popsicle from the fridge.

"For?"" Christen sets the dishes on the dish rack to dry.

 Tobin pulls out the box and shows it to Christen as she rips it open. 

"Raspberry, unless those are yours. Which one do you not like?"

Tobin pulls out two raspberry popsicles and hands one to Christen. "I like them all. I like the raspberry one more than the other two but I don't mind sharing. I tend to finish the cherry popsicles at the end because I crave those the least."

"Perfect." Christen puts the raspberry popsicle back and picks out a different one, "I love the cherry popsicles way more than the raspberry one. I thought everyone did, that's why I said raspberry first."

"I'll start saving those for you then." Tobin sits back down with her popsicle and goes through her notes, highlighting a few things on each page.

Christen sits down on the couch and begins to eat her popsicle as she takes off her shoes. "Hopefully the coffee kicks in soon, at least before we meet up with JJ and Kling for lunch."

Tobin looks back at Christen. "How long do I have to wait for the brownies?" She bites down on her popsicle and flips to the next page.

"I set the timer on my phone so a few minutes after that rings is when you can have brownies. You have to let them cool down." Christen says as she grabs a fuzzy decorative pillow and hugs it to her chest. "Honestly, your couch is so comfortable, every time I'm here I have to fight sleep. It's a battle I have yet to win."

"I know what you mean, me and Skip have taken so many afternoon naps there."

Christen slips into a short restless nap in the middle of an episode of a weird cartoon that she wasn't really paying attention to. The wooden stick of the popsicle still in her hand when she is jolted awake by her phone ringing. The sound amplified by the speaker her phone is still connected to. She sits up and almost trips over her shoes as she heads to the kitchen counter.

Tobin closes her laptop and gathers her loose notes. "Wow! The brownies bake that fast?"

Christen shakes her head as she disconnects her phone from the speakers. "No. That's Vero's ringtone."

Tobin grabs her things and starts heading back to her room. "I'll give you guys some space. Call me when the brownies are done."

Christen gives Tobin a thumbs up and sits back on the couch. "Hola Amor." Christen smiles.

_"Hey...Chris we should talk, but in-"_

Christen interrupts Vero, "I'm sorry for yesterday. I know I was being a bit childish and I understand why you didn't want to answer any of my calls or texts. I shouldn't have just hung up because I didn't like where the conversation was going. I'm sorry. I know things have been a bit rough since the last time we saw each other. All this time apart really sucks and I miss you like crazy, although you might think differently because I've skipped out on a few of our skype dates but I hope you will forgive me for that. I want to try harder. I'm going to honor every skype date we set up, I don't care if I'm late to game night at Kel's or if I only get a few hours of sleep. Vero, I-" The sound of sniffling on the other end catches Christen a bit by surprise. "...are you crying?"

Vero clears her throat. _"Uh, I am, a bit. I just..."_

They haven't had a conversation that is more than 'Hey how are you?' or a 'wyd' text that leads nowhere since classes started months ago but she didn't expect this conversation to get this emotional that fast. She waits a few more seconds for Vero to continue then decides to give her a little push. "You wanted to say something before I interrupted."

_"...Nothing. I just...I've been thinking the same thing and I'm so glad you want to make more time for us too."_

"Promise me you won't go MIA on me again." Christen says softly, "I really missed you today. Like I've been feeling off all day. I skipped class and you know me, I wouldn't miss class for just anyone."

She runs her hands across the fuzzy pillow and the heavy feeling on her chest returns. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she continues. "Full disclosure, I'm at Kel and Tobin's place... with just Tobin. I know that it makes you uncomfortable when it's just me and her. Don't think that I don't take your feelings into consideration when I'm with Tobin but I just had the urge to bake to help me clear my head and I had already told them I would sometimes bake for them. I mean we bought them the pans and-"

_"It's fine. I have no right to be bothered by that... I understand that she's become a really good friend so I won't mention it again. I just want us to be in a good place in our relationship that we can tell each other anything without judgment or repercussions... Uh, so what did you make?"_

"...Ok. Um, I just some brownies. They're in the oven right now." Christen walks over to the oven and turns on the light. "They should be done in a few more minutes."

_"Brownies are good but I miss your cookies the most."_

"I can send you a little care package with a few different cookies and corny love letters since I won't be in LA until much later. I wish I could drop it off myself so I could see you." Christen says as she sits down at the dining table.

_"I wish you were here."_

Christen can hear the sadness in Vero's voice and it breaks her heart. "If all the games go the way I think they will go, you might be able to come see me play against UCLA in a few weeks. We could see each other for a bit before and after the game. Or maybe I we can hang out a little before Christmas."

_"Why not sooner?"_

"Because I have a very busy schedule up until the college cup. If I'm not busy around Thanksgiving I will plan a trip down to LA." Christen starts playing with the placemat on the table.

_"So if you don't make it to the final then will you come visit sooner?"_

"Don't even say that." Christen exhales harshly, "If I'm not _busy_ in November then I'm going home for Thanksgiving and we can spend a few days together then. If I am still _busy_ in November, don't expect me to stop by until December."

_"Ok, so like what day in December?"_

Christen tries to think of what her schedule might look like in December. "Um, I don't know yet.  Do you need a definite date?"

_"I..yeah. I'm planning on going home during the winter break but I want to make sure I get to see you a few days before I leave. Jenni isn't going home this winter break, instead some of her family is renting out a beach house. She asked me if I could pick up the few that are coming early from the airport in the morning and I might stay a day or two with her before I head home."_

"The 18th I guess, that's the earliest I'll be home, probably. Hopefully nothing else keeps me on campus but if it does I'll call you."

_"Alright. I'll write that down so I don't forget and I can have a nice little date planned for us the next day. We'll do something more than a little date after Christmas when I get back."_

Christen blushes and smiles. "That's sounds great. I can't wait."

 _"I can't wait to make up for all the time we've been apart. Y_ _ou're not the only one that has been slacking off in this relationship." Vero admits."I also want to put a little more effort... I kind of wish I could hit the reset button to go back to my senior year before I had to go back home, before we began doing this long distance. I miss sneaking in through your bedroom window. I wish we could go back to that perfect time."_

Christen remembers her dad almost catching Vero on her way out in the morning and it makes her giggle. "It was great but it wasn't perfect. Do you remember that time you almost fell on one of my mom's flower pots?"

_"Oh, yeah. My stomach dropped when my foot slipped on the way down."_

Christen's alarm rings. "Sorry about that. The brownies must be done." Christen rushes to turn off the oven then pulls out a kitchen towel since Tobin and Kelley didn't have oven mitts.

_"Christen, just call me later tonight. You need both your hands and I have a few things to take care of right now anyway."_

Christen isn't ready to hang up. "You sure? I just need to take this out and let them cool. It'll only take me a few seconds."

_"I'm sure. Call me tonight or tomorrow morning. Te quiero."_

"Love you. Bye." Christen hangs up and pulls out the brownies. 

Tobin comes sliding into the kitchen, almost falling but getting her balance back by holding on to the counter as Christen set the pan down. "Brownies! They're done right?"

"You need to let them cool down first." Christen smacks Tobin's hand as she pulls on the towel the pan was set on to slide it closer to herself. "Tobin, no."

Tobin pouts, "Aw come on I've been waiting forever for these and you want me to wait even more."

Christen pats Tobin's head. "Yes, I told you you'd have to wait a little after the timer went off. You can help me make the cake while you wait."

"Ok." Tobin slides in her socks to the other side of the counter and starts reading the instruction on the box.

"I'll get the rest of the ingredients." Christen opens a few of the overhead cabinets and pulls out a few things.

Tobin stretches her hand out as she comes face to face with the most beautiful curls she's ever seen, "Huh. It's still curly but like a fluffy soft curly." She pulls a single lock and watches it immediately form back into a perfect curl once she releases it. "Still cute." 

The door opens and Tobin's hand quickly retreats back to her side. Christen slowly lines up the ingredients on the counter before making her way to the fridge, hoping the heat she feels on her cheeks was from being so close to the oven.

"Whatcha making?" Kelley asks as she sets her bag down on the table and eyes them both as they move wordlessly around each other. "Are those brownies?"

"Yup, but Christen said you have to let them cool down," Tobin replies. "Ridiculous, right?"

Kelley nods.

"Open the cake box while I struggle to put this in a ponytail." Christen pulls her hair back and combs her finger through it. "Ow."

"You're making a cake too?" Kelley asks. "What happened to not going crazy with the baking during the season?"

"I made the brownies because I wanted to make something on my own from scratch and the cake is what Tobin wants. She deserves some cake for her last two kickass games. 3 assists and a goal. Come on! That deserves some cake. Not just any cake." Christen lets her hair fall down her back and takes the box from Tobin then points to the name. "It deserves some FUNfetti cake."

"I get to eat cake and brownies... why am I arguing?" Kelley walks toward the hallway and picks at the pan of brownies. "Fuck that's hot!"

"I told you." Christen says as she starts doing her hair again.

"I'm going to go change, I'll come back for a corner piece in a bit." Kelley says as blows on her hurt fingers and disappears into the hallway.

Tobin rips the box open and pulls out the bag just as Christen's hairtie breaks.

Christen's hair cascades down again and in frustration she tries to blow it away from her face. "Shit, that was my last one."

Tobin bites down on the plastic bag of cake mix and mumbles, "Still cute." She smiles at Christen then tears open the bag. She carefully sets the bag down and gives Christen the hairtie on her wrist. "Here."

"Thanks." Christen takes the hairtie and quickly does her ponytail. "Ok now lets make your cake."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Distant Love - Abhi // Dijon  
> You Should Be Here - Kehlani  
> Para No Perderte - Espinoza Paz


End file.
